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a great change at that time, and a real renewal as far as it went. But when afterward the keen and close knife was laid to, all appeared rough. O let me endure till thy whole will is done! O the perfect atonement! Yes, the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin ! When a room is dark, let in the sun and it is light. Yet there is no light from the room, it is all in the sun. So the soul, uniting itself to Christ by faith, is made pure by that union, and kept pure by the continuance of it. As I was pleading that word to-day, "In this is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth much fruit," I thought, it is only union with Christ that can make me fruitful. I had a glimpse of that union, and saw it was all free gift. Therefore I may ask and have the fulness of the Spirit! Hallelujah!

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June 22.-What cause have I to trust in the Lord! On May 31st Mr. Walter came to reside. Nearly five months I had the cross of being without a minister, but now the Lord hath provided one, who I trust will prove a man after his own heart. I have only to stand still and see his salvation in all, and my spirit finds rest in so doing. I have of late had some very comfortable seasons in speaking to the people, and much of the presence of God. I have had a dream, from which I derived some profit. I seemed to be assaulted by Satan. Immediately I saw a man at a distance, partly covered with a cloud. He seemed to take no notice of me for a long time; at last he came up to me. As he drew near, Satan fell back. The man laid his hand on my arm, and said, "Be strong.' On which I felt a strength go through me I cannot describe. He then returned to the same spot, and seemed to take no more notice of me. After a time the enemy came again, and struggled hard with me. I often looked toward the man, but he appeared to take no notice. When my strength was almost gone, I raised my left hand and weakly put it against the enemy, saying, The Lord Jesus bruise thee beneath my feet from this time for ever! upon which he fell flat to the ground. The man behind the cloud then said. "Do you hear that? Do you all witness it?" To which a great number of voices, as in a musical note, answered, We do! we do! we do! They seemed above me, around me, and on every side! And their voices were so loud the sound awoke me. seemed to point out, to me two

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great truths. First, That at those times when the Lord appears not to answer as my soul could wish, I am still to see him as looking upon me, and equally trust him when he does or does not speak. Secondly, That we are continually in the sight of the eternal world. Indeed this I always knew; but I felt it more deeply impressed. I seem peculiarly conscious of the presence of the heavenly host, and would act, think, and speak, with the deepest re

verence.

August 16, Thursday.-On Tuesday last was the anniversary of my dear husband's death. Seven years have passed since that awful scene. Seven years has he been in glory! And I, a poor mournful widow, walking below through my pilgrimage alone. But what mercies have I seen in those seven years! O, had I at first known I should have stayed so long here, it would have looked very sad. But I feel more and more we are to live the present moment, and I find help and strength is given for every hour. It was a solemn but good day to me. My husband seemed unspeakably dear and near to me; but the love of the will of God kept me all day above every painful feeling.

September 12.--This summer I have been much called to speak in the name of the Lord; and such a way has been made for me, as to weather and conveyance, and various circumstances, that it fully convinced me I have no need of care. O how sweet is that command, "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he will sustain thee!" I do not know also that ever I felt such help and liberty from the Lord in all my life, as I have done in speaking this year, both winter and summer, at home and abroad. It is a cross to the flesh, but, glory be to thee, thy light doth shine on my ways.

This day I am fifty-three years old. O that I may from this day begin a new life! Once more we are free from company; and I am led to give myself more abundantly to private prayer. Since we have been alone, a deep conviction has rested on my mind of the shortness of time, and how little longer I may retain any degree of health. Therefore I determined to seek for an increase of the Spirit to unite me more to himself, as he sees good, so I may but glorify him. I seem to be threatened with a

cancer, and rather seemed to shrink at the prospect. But it may be the answer of my own prayer; and I still say, Only make me holy!

October 4.-I was led this morning to offer up my whole self to God. First, My body, for any suffering he saw good. I leave it all to him. If any means are to be used, I believe the Lord will himself direct what shall be done. Secondly, My reputation, to be esteemed or despised. Thirdly, My substance, to be continued or withheld. Fourthly, My soul, I commit it altogether to the Lord. He knows I want to be fully saved; and I will consider it as my one business. Lord, get thyself glory upon me! The other morning I was awaked by those words powerfully impressed,—

"O glorious seat, thou God our King,

Shalt thither bring our willing feet!"

Last night those words were precious, "With favour will I encompass them as with a shield." My spirit seems to long for a closer communion. I have thought on those words, "If any man love me he will keep my words, and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him." I see I must apply myself more to "do the will of God," watching each word and thought, and taking up every cross with cheerfulness.

October 12.-I have been reading over, with deep attention, the Life of Mr. David Brainerd. O what a deep-searching book have I found it! Many times before have I read it through, but never so entered into the spirit of it as now. He observes, it was always his heaven to do the will of God, from his first conviction; and he could never rest, but in doing something for the Lord, even when death was upon him! Lord, make me to be of that mind! To have our happiness in doing and suffering the will of God, is indeed the strongest assurance the soul can have of future glory. For, can any thing separate God's will from himself? Neither life nor death can then divide the soul from his eternal presence. Glory be to God, I feel some little measure of this spirit. My delight is, that the Lord reigneth, and my rest is in his will. As I was thinking the other day, perhaps I may be called to have the cancer cut out of one breast, perhaps out of both, as there is pain in the other, and formed the idea

of the handkerchief tied over my eyes, and my arms bound to the chair. As I was offering myself up to the will of God, I felt those words applied, “I am ready not only to be bound, but to die for the Lord Jesus."

On Monday morning I had a peculiar sweetness on my spirit in meeting the people; and at night I read and spoke from the 21st of Matthew. It was a good time, and some souls were blessed. On the Tuesday, being our intercession, I do not know when I have found such liberty. The Lord was very present, and a deep solemnity rested on the congregation; some of whom have since told me the Lord wrought much on them that night. Blessed be God, he still gives me to bear his message to the people. O that my little remaining strength and time may all be devoted to him. Yet I have of late been much tried with such a stupor upon me in the morning, that I cannot rise till near seven o'clock. This pains me much. Lord, make me more active in thy work! I have since observed some answer to prayer, with regard to rising in the morning; Lord, give me to persevere !

November 1.-The Lord give me to abound in charity as to the outward act! But where is the difficulty of being so, when the Lord hath made my cup to run over? If ever my charity was great, it was when I had little, expecting a prison for myself, while I was helping others. Yet at that time I am not sure it was cheerfully done; a necessity seemed laid upon me. But now, though 1 give much, and am much employed for the poor, yet I fear I do not save all I might for them out of what is spent on my worthless self. How has the Lord appeared for me! Another's grace, another's wisdom, another's management! My father's and husband's money all devoted to my service! all gathered together to serve me! While these thoughts came rolling over my mind, those words presented themselves, "When I sent you without purse or scrip, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing." November 13, Tuesday.-Yesterday concluded eleven years since my dear husband and I were made one. It was a solemn day to me. I strove to renew my marriage covenant with the Lord; but it was a day of gloom; I had no near access. Much of it was employed among the people, as Monday usually is. In the morning meet.

ing I had some liberty, and more at night, while reading and speaking on the 12th of the Hebrews.

December 1.-I was much encouraged in considering that it is the office of Jesus to " baptize with the Holy Ghost." How is it we so neglect to look for the fulfilment of that office of our Lord! Did he not say, "He that believeth on me, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water? And this he spake of the Spirit," which they who believe on him were to receive. This gift of the Holy Ghost is therefore the very thing believers are to look for. No matter what they call it a clean heart, salvation from evil tempers, purity, or what they will-it makes no difference. There is a baptism of the Spirit for believers to receive, and which I have had a taste of; but I want the fulness. The Lord is faithful-it shall Yes, I see it, I come near it, I feel a touch of it while writing; yet my faith wants a farther lift. Lord, it must be all thy own doing!

come.

December 2.-I was talking yesterday with one who told me many were much alarmed about the nation. That inflammatory papers were throwing about among the army, and it is feared they will raise among them such a spirit as reigns in those of France. I was led to consider that and various other things which appeared to me as signs of the times. At night I felt much liberty in pleading for our good king, and that God would restrain the evil ones, who are striving to raise a spirit of ingratitude and rebellion in our nation. I felt comfort in my old word, "The Lord reigneth !"

December 11.-This has been on the whole a good day. I cannot say I have found so much liberty in the times of family prayer as I usually have; but in the five times of my private approaches to the Lord I think I have each time had a greater degree of it.

December 16, Sunday.-My spirit pants after God! O Lord, glorify thyself upon me; this is what I long for, and pray for. I seem like a poor beggar waiting at mercy's door; oft full of hope, and then again the door seems shut. I want the spirit of prayer. I want also a more self-denying spirit. Last night I dreamed my dear husband wrote a line for me to read. I took up the paper with desire, and read, "Those who closely follow Jesus

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