live to return to England,) be permitted to accompany the ministering angels, who should be sent to convey the spirits of his dear parishioners into glory! He seemed to delight in the thought! I observed, You are going now, and I trust, by the grace of God, I shall be enabled to fight my passage through, and then we shall meet on Sion's happy shore, there to praise our dear Lord together. Smiling he answered, We shall, we shall.' I read those two hymns, Come let us join our friends above, who have obtained the prize,' and, How happy every child of grace, who knows his sins forgiven.' After conversing some time, I repeated those lines, 'For you is prepared the angelic guard, A ministering host of invisible friends! To the regions of light, The horses are come, The chariot of Israel to carry you home.' He stretched out both his arms, looking upward, as with eager desire, and cried out, 'O, I am longing for that convoy to come for me!' I took my leave of him, saying, I shall see you no more here; but it will not be long before we meet above. And I pray the Lord may be with you in the dark valley, and sweetly support you with his presence. He caught hold of my hand, and said, 'Farewell! God bless you for ever, and dear Mrs. Fletcher. Tell her I thank her for all her kindness to me; but above all, for the prayers she hath offered for me. They have done me much good, more good than my own. May God bless her and bless you both for ever!'" Some others also the Lord hath taken to his bosom, and among them, one out of my own little household. Poor dear Martha Clark, who had lived with me eight years, being ill, left me last August, to try if her native air would restore her. One letter I received from her. In it, she said, her mind was in peace, stayed on the Lord. Not long after, she dreamed she had returned, and that on opening our back door, she saw the Lord Jesus all in white! who told her he had brought the chariot for her. In the morning she said to her brother she should die soon, for the chariot of Israel was come for her. And so she did on October the six teenth, I believe, suddenly. She often repeated that verse of the hymn, "For you is prepared the angelic guard," &c. And frequently would be saying, "When will the chariot come for me?" How solemn is the thought! My family is partly in paradise and partly on earth. On earth I have none but my dear child Sally; but above I have many. Blessed be God for that word, “We shall be gathered to our people." Martha Clark was one who so walked as truly to "adorn the Gospel." While in my house, I do not know there was ever one thing I wished her to put away, or to do, but she immediately complied therewith. In nothing was she worldly minded, but often was ready to refuse any little addition to her wages, when I saw it right to give it to her. She was in many respects truly a pattern of sobriety of mind, and of a quiet spirit. I January 4, 1798.-At the watch night, held the last evening of the year, I was sensible of a deepening of the conviction which I had for some days felt, of the littleness of my grace. In this spirit I began this new year. do certainly feel God hath done me good in the last; but I see as I never did, the need of a far deeper work, a faith at all times lively and vigorous. I have not such a perfect conquest over my thoughts as I must have to cause a continual sense of the Almighty. I am not always faithful in resisting, if the thought does not appear to be evil. Since the first day of this year, I have more power to watch: Lord, stand by me! Some observing to me, they could not find as much profit from my words and prayers as they did from Sally's, and wondering at it ;* I thought, it is no wonder: for I have not such a degree of the Spirit as she has. But I will bless thee, O Lord, that I am permitted to make her way; and will with pleasure do more of the little things of the house, that she may have more leisure to carry thy truth about among souls. She is a faithful follower of the Lamb, and though she has been my orphan to bring up, I now desire to tread in her steps. September 12.-Fifty-nine years this day have I seen * They are not to be commended who spoke thus; nor was Mrs. Fletcher's consequent resolution, though admirable, wholly without danger to the young woman.-ED. the light of this world; but never did I see eternal things more important than at this hour. I am led to live one moment at a time, offering up my whole self to the will of God, to be purified by his Divine influence ;-to be just what he would have me to be. Lord, get thyself glory on my soul. I had some humbling thoughts concerning my dear husband. How much more comfort I might have yielded him, often presses hard on my mind. "O I have much forgiven, let me love much!" Some years ago I was much struck with that observa tion of Mr. Bridges, "Where God designs to confer a great blessing, he frequently puts a sentence of death on the means that seem to lead thereto; as in the case of Abraham and Sarah." I am sure it has been so with me in various instances. At twenty-four I had a plentiful fortune, but all seemed lost. Yet God said in my heart, "Thou shalt lend, and not borrow." I was, however, at that time borrowing of many, my own money being in estates. I feared I should not at last pay all, therefore, for fear of deception, I spoke freely to several of my losses, and especially to those whose money I had on interest. Many said, "Depend upon it she is not worth ten pounds, for every one makes the best they can of their affairs." Such a sentence of death seemed to come over all my worldly affairs! And yet, when God's time came, how did all turn about! Now it may be asked, Why does God take this away? Mr. Bridges gives a sweet answer, "God gives his blessings in that manner which shall most show that he is God." Now had my fortune remained unlessened, as it came from my parents, I should not have so clearly seen the hand of God. But, like Joseph, we must sometimes be sold into Egypt, in order to have our promises fulfilled, of becoming "the sheaf lifted up." Of late I have feared lest I should look to my plenty more than I ought, and not live by faith. Perhaps to prevent that the Lord hath taken this thirty pounds in France, and fifty pounds per annum in Switzerland;* and yet I feel no lack. November 15.-Last Monday, the 12th, was a solemn day to me. That day seventeen years (and on a Monday) * Lost by the invasion of the French.-ED. We my dear husband and I were made one before men. were before made one in the Lord. O that my spirit could more partake of what he feels in glory! I have no doubt that an eternal growth belongs to happy spirits; and sometimes I think he has so long got the start of me, and was so much before me even here, that I fear I shall not be in one tribe with him above. Well, I feel the will and order of God is right, let my mansion be where it will. If Jesus is glorified, I know I shall delight in that. Nóvember 21.-What an awful time do we live in! This Irish rebellion has occasioned the death of thousands. To what distress also are numbers reduced, stripped of all they have, their houses burned, and themselves forced to flee for their lives! But many of our people have been remarkably preserved. I have not yet heard of one of them who has not escaped, though often as by miracle! When I look on these things, I think how different is my situation! I am lost in wonder, love, and praise! O my God, here I sit under my own vine and fig tree, filled with every good thing! Plenty of money for all I want, and some to spare. I say, when I look at these things, I am astonished at the tender mercy of God; and encouraged to believe that he, who thus graciously deals with my poor dying body, will answer every prayer for my soul. Last night I seemed, almost the whole of it, to hear and repeat with sweet power these words : "Still, O my soul, prolong The never ceasing song, Christ my hope, my joy, my theme; Bow my every power to him, Every thought be spent in praise!" When I awoke I could not say it-I could not even begin! But no sooner did I drop asleep again, than it flowed as it were out of my heart and lips! January 15, 1799.-I have found the beginning of this year a very solemn season. O that I may feel, in the course of it, what I have never before felt! On Christmas eve the Scriptures which I read in the meeting were the first and second chapters of Luke; and it seemed to many of us as if we were with Zacharias in the temple, with Mary when the angel Gabriel came to her, with the shep herds in the field; and, above all, with the little company in the stable in Bethlehem, hearing the shepherds relate their vision, and Joseph and Mary confirming their faith by a relation of all the wonderful things they had seen and heard! Our hearts exulted also with Simeon and Anna in the temple ;* and my soul was led to cry aloud, that all who waited for salvation in Madeley should behold my Saviour! I was able to go out on Christmas day, but I was ill the rest of the week. On the first day of this year, in the evening, we had a full meeting, and the Lord was with us. We then considered a few questions which had been brought to my mind for that purpose. First, Has this last year been a year of prayer? Have my prayers been serious, fervent, and recollected? Or have I drawn near to God with my lips, while my heart was far from him? Secondly, Have I watched my thoughts, and been much in holy ejaculations? Thirdly, Have I been thankful for mercies received, and attentive to observe deliverances and answers to prayer, remembering that word, " He that offereth me praise, he honoureth me?" Fourthly, Do I feel a deep sense of sin? Do I loathe my sinful self, and cry often, Lord, "cleanse me from my secret faults?" Fifthly, Am I deeply conscious that the root of all sin is in having lost God, and found self in his place? And do I continually see holiness to consist in the being sunk into my own nothingness, that God alone may be exalted in my soul? Sixthly, Does my faith increase? Do I come more freely to a crucified Saviour, seeking all my salvation in and through him alone? Seventhly, Do I keep hold of every promise given me, as I would of a purse of gold, knowing it will be good another day? Do I so look A genuine instance of true faith in ordinary life and duty. Faith, says St. Paul, is the evidence of things not scen; that is, of the unseen things which God hath revealed, and of which the Holy Scriptures are the record. These things (events, discoveries, declarations, promises, threatenings) are either past, future, or spiritual, and therefore not the objects of sight. This evidence (EheyXoc) gives to these unseen things of God a present subsistence. Hence this faith is said to be mighty through God, to work by love, to purify the heart, and to overcome the world. As this evidence is more or less clear and constant, so is the victory, and so is the consequent holiness; the righteousness, peace, and joy. Lord, increase our faith, -ED. |