Imágenes de páginas

confidence in thy faithful promises. Yes, my gracious Lord, I abandon all, all into thy hand, both for time and eternity. I have been reading again that excellent work of my dear husband, « The Portrait of St. Paul.” I had not read it for many years, but, О how sweet did I find it! It is amazing that it should be so clear and perfect as it is, when I considered what he said to me about it, that it was a rough draught wrote in his illness, when abroad; and which he intended to write all over again, and to im. prove, had he been spared to do it. I felt a sweet unction às I read it, and am very glad it is taken into the ninth volume of his Works.

February 11.-I have been ill for about two months, with a complaint on my lungs, but was enabled to keep to all the meetings till Tuesday last, when I grew much worse. My breath is exceeding short, and the cough very severe. By the expectoration it appears to be such a consumption as old people have. I am glad I have had these opportunities with the dear people, though perhaps I have suffered by it. The Lord has been very present with us of late. Those words have been much on my mind, 6 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none on earth I desire in comparison of thee.” I feel no care about my body, only that I may do and suffer all the will of God, as a Christian ; that “ patience may have its perfect work.”

February 25.--I still remain ill, though something bet. ter; and it is a great addition to the trial, that my dear friend and kind nurse, Miss Tooth, appears to have a consumptive disorder. This morning I was laying all before the Lord, and felt a desire to try myself in every point of sacrifice. I felt his will above all. Afterward that word bore on my mind, “ Stand still and see the sal. vation of God.”

April 27.-Yesterday was a day of trial, as to outward things; but in the morning those words were in a pecu. liar manner laid on my mind, 6 Commit thy way unto the Lord ; trust also in him, and he will bring it to pass." I did not understand what it meant at first, but before night it was explained.

O my faithful God, thou knowest all that can approach thy children; and thy guardian care prevents our trials by a call to a fresh trust in thee! Many scenes of suffering appear before me. My left breast I am told is again likely to prove cancerous; but I lie still in the hand of the Lord.

May 6.--As I was rising this morning, Mr. Grim. shaw's advice came to my mind : “ At your first awaking spend half an hour on five things. First, Return thanks for the mercies of the night. Second, Pray for a blessing on the new day. Third, Examine the state of your heart. Fourth, Meditate on some spiritual subject. Fifth, Lay a plan for your employment of the day.” I felt my heart drawn to praise, and to entreat protecting mercy, and spiritual guidance, for the ensuing day, and felt my petition was heard. Then I looked up for a spiritual subject of meditation. Immediately it occurred, “I go to prepare a place for you." Then, “ I am the way, the truth, and the life.” I felt it a profitable time.

September 6.—The other day brother Tranter preached in my room very profitably, and told us afterward a re. markable answer to prayer. Mr. R. Crowther and his wife were going to their circuit in a borrowed gig. They came to the house of a pious man and woman, accustomed to receive the messengers of Jesus Christ. Having no place for the gig, it stood out. There were some perse. cuting spirits in the place. In the night, the man and his wife found they could not sleep, and said one to another, I feel a great weight on my mind, perhaps some hurt is doing to the gig. They got up and went out.

They found one wheel was gone. They looked all about, but could not find it. They returned into the house and went to prayer, laying before the Lord the difficulty Mr. Crowther would be in. At last one of them said, It comes to my mind they have carried it to such a place, (about two miles off,) and thrown it into the swamp. The other said, Let us go and see. About one o'clock they set off. When they came to the place, which was full of water and mud, and covered with rushes, they looked about, but could see nothing of the wheel. They then saw a large stick; upon which the man said, Perhaps on this stick they carried it; let us try again. He then took up the stick and groped in the mud. Presently he felt the wheel. They got it out, brought it home, and put

it on the gig. So when Mr. and Mrs. Crowther got up, the gig was ready for them to set off. How true is that word, « Call upon me in the time of trouble, so I will hear thee, and thou shalt glorify me."

September 12.–At eight o'clock this morning I was solemnly struck with the thought-I am, at this hour, (the time I have been told I was born,) seventy-one years of age. I was, as I have been told, in great danger of death, from my tongue being tied, and much bleeding ensued from having it cut. It was thought I should be dumb. But thou, O Lord ! saw good to give me my speech. Ah, Lord, how have I used that great talent ! How often have I abused thy goodness, and offended with my tongue! I feel an earnest cry for a full and perfect devotedness of soul to thee ; and my faith seems to be increased in the belief I shall be so. While speaking on Monday night, in a very full meeting, the Lord was very present, and I saw such a great salvation before me as I cannot express. And has my Saviour borne all the curse? And has he taken our nature into the Godhead? O, what may we not expect! Lord, enlarge my faith!

November 24.–Since I last wrote, I have seen much of the goodness of the Lord. What an answer of prayer is the amendment of Miss Tooth! My gracious Lord would not give me sorrow upon sorrow. O, how good it is to stand still and see his salvation! This summer I have been better in health than for some years, and have found much of his presence in the work of God.

On the 12th of this month, the day of renewed dedica. tion of myself to God, I felt a blessing in the remembrance of the precious gift given me twenty-nine years ago. 0, what a train of good things have sprung therefrom! O, my Lord, none but thyself can know what an advantage I have drawn from that union ! O, that my dear hus. hand's prayers may be fully answered in me, that I may become the habitation of God through the Spirit !

December 18.–Being ill, I could not go out, but prayed if the Lord saw it good, that I might have strength for Sunday noon, and Monday night, the times when we have large congregations-and, blessed be his name! I have had hitherto the answer to my prayer. I felt this morn. ing very lame in my knees, but yet able to walk about ;

and, in the room last night, the Lord was with me, and brought me comfortably through.

January 7, 1811.--And do I see another year! O, my God, may I live this year as I have never yet done! I have had, for six weeks, a return of my winter cough, but have been enabled to go out on Sunday nuon, and Monday night as usual. Blessed be the Lord for that indulgence! Never did eternity appear so near. I feel its importance; but 0, I want it to drink up every thought, and fill up every moment.

January 14.–The complaint on my lungs grows worse. I seem to be going fast Saturday and yesterday were days of recollection, blessed be God! I went out yester. day at noon, and had a comfortable time with the dear people. I read and spoke an hour. The subject was, Jacob blessing his sons. I seemed to be no worse, and on my return had a tolerable night; but this morning I feel my breath much affected, and my strength seems to go fast. Eternity looks very sweet, yet I have fiery darts. I long for a clearer view but I praise the Lord for more constant power to obey that command, Pray without ceasing.

February 9.-Those words seem to dwell mightily on my mind, “ Praying always, and watching thereunto with all perseverance.” Lord give me the power this day ! Let my spirit every moment be looking out for thee, as the watchman for the morning. The Lord has been draw. ing my soul nearer to himself for some days. 0, how my soul longs to be wholly lost in God! This day I have been greatly humbled under a sense of the little progress I have made, seeing my lot hath been cast with the most excellent of the earth. · May 25.Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits! I am surrounded with mercies. Sure none ever had more cause for thankfulness. O, that my heart could overflow with praise in proportion thereto! 0, my Saviour, purify my soul unto thyself! I know thou hast all power. The other day, as a useless thought occurred to my mind, I felt that word with a solemn weight - The place where his honour dwelleth. It called me back in a moment, with that idea, that my soul is the place where ais honour ought to dwell. It is a great thing to keep the heart with all diligence from the dangerous avenue of the imagination. My soul doth rejoice over some who have been brought in of late. One young man who was very wicked, came to one of the meetings ; and hearing Miss Tooth observe, “ We must have that faith which brings purity of heart, and power over sin," he thought, I am sure I have no such faith.-From that hour the Lord began to work on his soul. The conviction was deep ; and his wife, his father and mother, and a cousin, were stirred up through him, and are all now members of the society. Glory be to God, he continues all athirst both for his own soul and others. “Every moment, Lord, I also need the merit of thy death.”

July 23.-0, how faithful is God! None ever trusted in him and was confounded. Much of his loving kind. ness have I seen of late in the times of united worship. Yes, my adorable Lord, thou hast helped thy poor creature, and given me to feel the words which I spoke. Several have been blessed, and most sweetly brought into pure love, and an awakening seems to spread among believers to press forward, and seek the rest which remains for the children of God.

August 14.-What did I feel this day twenty-six years, when at the dying bed of my beloved husband! And what have I gone through since that time! Well, it hath been all for good. I have needed every bitter cup I have had to drink ; but what mercies have I also received! What tender care hath my almighty and loving Redeemer shown in my behalf! That word hath indeed been fulfilled, A judge of the widow is God in his holy habitation. But I might have grown much more than I have. O, my Sa. viour, show me how it is now with my soul ! Blessed be the name of the Lord, I feel my conscience more and more tender, and a greater power to embrace the cross, and to keep in the presence of God. It is a season of trial, but I expect much spiritual good to arise therefrom. I long to be lost and swallowed up in God.

September 12.-Glory be to thee, my gracious Redeemer, who hast preserved me seventy-two years! I have been for some time very poorly with the complaint on my lungs ; and one day as I was sitting in the study, think. ing what I might have to go through, I felt applied to my

« AnteriorContinuar »