mind a word my dear husband spoke to me, " Thou shalt not suffer long :" then he added, "Hope to the end, in Jesus hope; you cannot fail if God is love." My heart answered, God is love, and I shall prove his faithfulness, whatever I have to go through. Blessed be God, I am still enabled to keep up my meetings, though with labour, and we have much of the presence of God. We have now got three new preachers on the circuit. Lord, make their word powerful! We have prayed much for them. September 19.-Last night in my sleep that word was spoken to me, None shall pluck thee out of my Father's hand. I did not wake, but in my sleep made reflections on it. O, my precious Lord, thou art gracious; but I long for a closer union with thee! My breath is very short on the least motion; and yet I can go up and down to the meetings, blessed be God! We have been reading in the family of late an account of the martyrs. O, how I admired the power of God in them! Lord, how poor a disciple am I, ready to shrink at a little suffering! O, Lord, increase my faith! Last night I was uncommonly ill; but as I lay quiet, it was spoken as if to both ear and heart, "Give to the winds thy fears." Then followed the whole verse, with great power :- "Give to the winds thy fears, Hope, and be undismay'd, God hears thy sighs, and counts thy tears, October 16.-To-day in reading the first and second chapters of Deuteronomy, where Moses bids them trust in the Lord who had done such wonders for them in Egypt, and in the wilderness, &c,; I was led to look back through my past life, and consider the tender care the Lord hath taken of me even to this hour, yea, in the smallest things, as well as in the greatest. O, what wonders I could relate! O, my precious Lord, increase my faith and love, I pray thee, abundantly! I see eternity very near. Lord, open my eyes to a clearer view of that blessed world! November 22.-Solemn thoughts the twelfth of this month rested on my mind, and also great thankfulness. Blessed be God for that sweet and gracious union com menced with my dear husband thirty years ago, and eternally to last. My asthmatic disorder increases, and sometimes in the meetings I feel much difficulty. Well, all is right. Thy will, O, my precious Saviour! is all. I feel a pain in the thought of giving up the Sunday noon and Monday night meetings. If the Lord would be pleased to give me strength for these seasons, I should be thankful. I wish to give my last breath to the dear people of God. December 27.-O, my soul, why dost thou not praise the Lord in a more abundant manner! Surely I am in a land flowing with milk and honey. Last night, when uncommonly ill with my asthma, I was obliged to sit up in my bed a good while, and it seemed as if my breath would stop. O, how gracious was the Lord! I felt such a sense of quiet safety as I cannot express! I thought, what a mercy is a good bed; a fire in my room--while many poor creatures are starving with cold this hard frost! a kind friend in the next bed, who will attend my call; and, above all, a God of love to trust in! I said, Lord, speak to me! Immediately that word vassed through my mind, "Jesus doth my burden bear, I thought of the great and amazing transaction commemorated at this season, and foretold for four thousand years! Truly, "the secret of the Lord is with those who fear him." While the Jews expected him to come in great pomp, he came as a babe in the manger, quite concealed and unknown, except to a few! Here is a lesson! Some even now can find no comfort, except in something great, even in religion! How often have I been thus deceived! But now I see in another light. We are to lay hold on the smallest encouragement; we are to accept a crumb-and by looking in the word, and feeding on it, the power follows. As he says, "Incline thine ear; hear, and thy soul shall live!" January 1, 1812.-Lord, let me begin this year with thee! I have cause to praise the Lord for a good night, and am much better since I have kept in the house. But, O my Lord, wilt thou give me once more to go out among the dear people? Well, "Thy will be done!" all is right that thy providence ordains. On the fifth of this month I shall have been thirty years in this house. mise, given me at Bath, comes strongly to my, mind, “ I will bring Israel again to her own habitation." Truly the Lord hath done so. I have drunk a bitter cup in losing my dear husband, yet I am so filled with blessings, and have such comforts and helps, that I may say no kind of good is withheld from me. I have also communion with my friends above; a little while and we shall meet to part no more. O my God, I beseech thee, let me live this year, if spared, as I have never yet done! February 6.—Many mercies I have seen in the month past. Though I have not got my voice yet sufficiently for the meetings, yet the Lord hath given us such helpers, that all has been kept up with advantage. Glory be to his name! We are very comfortable with our preachers; they are so kind and friendly, we are quite of one heart, and the work prospers. I have had of late a deeper view into the mystery of redemption, and felt much power in that word, "He appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself." June 19.-The dear people so flock to us that my room will scarcely hold them, though we consider it as holding three hundred, and the Lord hath been very present indeed. I was so recovered as to get out in March, and have been able ever since to attend the meetings. I have a prospect of great sufferings before me, but I hang upon the will of my God, assured that "the sufferings of the present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed." Cne great answer to prayer I must mention. A gay young lady, whom I knew from a child, it pleased the Lord to afflict. She was deeply awakened, and cried out, "O how I shudder to look back on my past life!" In this state the Lord manifested his mercy, and for some months she went on most sweetly. At her death, after bearing extreme sufferings with a lamb-like patience, she said, "My pain is exceedingly great; but it is not hell; and that I have richly deserved." Soon after she told her aunt, "I have had a great conflict both in soul and body. I am just going." Then she added, "O I am so happy!" and immediately departed. August 14.-This is always a solemn day. Seven and twenty years hath my beloved husband been in glory. O what heights of holiness may he have attained! Lord, what have I gained in this long season? I might have attained to much more than I have, but, blessed be the Lord, I do feel an increase; and my spirit pants after the "fulness of God." I find stronger faith; I am filled with blessings! I see the hand of God in all; and such answers to prayer as amaze me! My body is full of infirmities, yet I am able to creep through each day, and to work a little my Lord's vineyard. Truly my last days are my best. September 12.-I have this day reached my seventythird year, and I feel a strong desire that this may be a birthday to my soul. I have such a sense of a full blessing purchased for me, with such a near approach to God, that I long to attain it. I wait at the feet of my dear Saviour for a fuller display of his love. in November 12.-It is thirty-one years this day, since I was united to my dear husband. O blessed union! What cause have I of praise for that providence! It seems but yesterday, and he is as near and dear as ever. I cannot see to write half what I feel in my heart; but I will add, my cup overflows with mercy, glory be to God! January, 1813.-And now another year is gone, and I see the beginning of a new one. I feel an increase of faith within the last day or two; some refreshing beams of glory now and then have touched my soul. O for a deeper draught! "From Sion's top the breezes blow, And cheer us in the vale below." February 20.-I have read with much pleasure the account of the work of God in India. I praise the Lord for that excellent man, Professor Francke. It was from his college several of the missionaries went to India, and, among others, that great instrument, Mr. Swartz. Glory be to God, who hath raised up these "angels of the Churches." Every look at them makes me shrink into nothing. Yet we may be permitted to follow them with our prayers. Lord, increase the number of such men! Bless their endeavours, and fill them with thy Spirit!* * No doubt many pious persons, as well as Mrs. Fletcher, have thus prayed. How evidently are those prayers answered in the present day!-Ed. * April 20.-Since I wrote last, on March the third, my dear brother William died. We were four in number, and I am now left alone. But I have cause to believe he is in glory. He hath been a kind brother to me; and referring to the extraordinary communication of Mrs. Clapham, I feel a desire to explain in what a singular manner the whole has been fulfilled. When I married he sent me one hundred pounds as a wedding present. After the death of my dear husband, he came down to me, and with the greatest tenderness and affection brought me forty pounds. Some time after, my uncle Claudius Bosanquet died, and left each of my brothers eighteen thousand pounds, and several of his nephews and nieces five hundred each; but neither my sister nor myself were mentioned. My brother William at that time divided one of his thousands between us. This was a great help, Since that time he as I had some money still to pay off. hath helped me yearly for my poor's expenses,-and, for time, has given me forty pounds a year. At this time of distress, when trade is so low, and the poor so straitened, this loss would have been a great one; but he hath left me two thousand pounds, so that my income, instead of decreasing, will be enlarged. I cannot reflect on this circumstance but with wonder and praise. When Mrs. Clapham told me, about a fortnight before we were married, of these great helps, I declare I did not expect one penny. O how exactly has all come to pass! I remember she said that the last sum that she saw laid down was much larger than any before. How often has my heart cried to the Lord that he would restore him a hundredfold! I trust it is so. I have a strong confidence his cup is full of glory. April 30.-I feel the presence of the Saviour, and trust to enter more deeply than ever into him as my centre. Reflecting on my past mercies and present situation, I am struck with amazement at the loving kindness of the Lord. Never was I more comfortable than now! Though I have so many infirmities, yet I have such a measure of health as renders life quite easy. Good nights, sufficient appetite, and a degree of strength, at times quite easy; * See page 135. |