glory. My income being now larger, I thought a more easy path lay before me; and I found much attachment to the place. Yet we were sickly, and the house was too small for such a family as ours. We had no land to it, (mine being all let off before to the other house,) and not having cows, such a number of children occasioned much inconvenience. Frequently I was advised to remove into some part of Yorkshire, and take a farm; that otherwise it was impossible to bring up the children to every branch of needful business; and that my income would go as far again in such a situation. I must here observe, though my income was increased, it was still not equal to our expenses, which were great on many accounts: I had also undertaken, in union with the young lady before mentioned, some charitable affairs, which now all fell on me, and many of them I could not throw off for some years. The box did not yield us as much by half as in the first year; for like the manna in the wilderness, which ceased when the Israelites got corn, so that provision, which had been exceedingly useful to us, seemed now to be suspended. Yet I felt very averse to the thought of business; I feared the armour I had not proved, and thought I should perhaps lose the little maintenance I had, rather than gain more. One day, my friend being a little better, and all things at that time pretty comfortable, my own heart being also drawn with an unusual sweetness toward the Lord, I was walking in the garden,-when looking around me, it appeared as a paradise. I thought how sweet is my situa tion ! I dwell among my own people, a few who love me, and whom I love. The family is getting more and more as I could wish; and as to our circumstances, I can freely trust my God farther than I can see, so that all my care on him is cast, and here I hope to end my days. Immediately a thought presented itself,*-But suppose God should call you from this place; and there should be yet some bitter cups for you to drink? I started at the thought; but said, Give me power to say, Thy will be done. About this time Richard Taylor came from Yorkshire, It is by no means clear that this was from the Lord.—ED. being driven from thence by misfortunes. He left a wife and young family, and came to London in hopes of settling with his creditors. Sister Crosby (who was now a member of my family) had known him in Yorkshire, and Mr. Dornford and Mr. Murlin recommended him to me, and proposed his staying for a time at our house. He seemed (and I believe he then was) a devoted man. We were much interested in his behalf. When we sat down to dinner, the thought that his wife and children were in trouble and distress, would often so overwhelm him, he could not take a morsel. He appeared a man of prayer, and one of the excellent of the earth. One Various circumstances occurred which seemed plainly to call us to seek another habitation, and Yorkshire was the place most likely. Yet such a call did not seem desirable to me. My reason seemed to point that way; my inclination was to remain where I then was. morning, however, as I was reading in my turn to the family, I came to these words, "Come out from thy kindred and thy country, and come into a land which I will show thee." I felt myself penetrated with resignation, I felt my strong attachment to the place, as being the place of my birth, quite removed, and I seemed free to follow the leading of the Spirit of God to any corner of the earth.* My friend and I began seriously to consider whether our work was not done at Laytonstone: whether, after spending about five years at this place, we were not now called to another spot. A physician had told us, if there were any hopes of sister Ryan's recovery, it would be by a journey. She had unexpectedly recovered at Bath before, and it might be so again. At this time she was very bad. I objected, however, to the moving her in so weak a condition; to which she answered, "If the Lord see fit to spare me, probably that is to be the means of raising me up; and if he has otherwise determined, I should be glad to see you settled first; for if you are left without me here, I think you will have great difficulty, from several circumstances; and probably such an exchange * Whether this leading was really of the Spirit of God or not, her submission to him made her more than conqueror.-ED. of place and situation would put it in your power to alter and remove those difficulties." My relations and Christian friends seemed all to approve, and we believed our way was plain for taking a journey to Leeds, and some adjacent places, in order to judge better whether they were suitable, and whether we could meet with a habitation that would answer our great family. Accordingly, on June the seventh, 1768, I set out with my friend Ryan, and sister Crosby. Brother Taylor, who was now to return home, accompanied us on horseback.* It may be supposed we had a troublesome jour. ney and aching hearts, for my dear sister Ryan was so * All those who have read, with pious interest, the beginning and progress of the house of God at Laytonstone, must regret its dissolution. Had it been favoured with any successors of the same spirit, we might rejoice that those who had, as the salt of the earth, been the savour of life to that people, were about to season other places. But that was not the case. There were no such successors; and it is by no means clear, that there was such a call of Divine Providence as was sufficient to justify these chosen instruments in departing from a place so divinely visited, and in dissolving an establishment so owned of the Lord. Mr. Wesley's sentiments concerning that establishment, are very decisive. In his Journal (see his Works, vol. iv) he says, "Thursday, December 12, 1765, I rode over to Laytonstone, and found one truly Christian family. This is what that at Kingswood should be, and would, if it had such governors." Again, "Thursday, February 12, 1767, I preached at Laytonstone. O what a house of God is here! Not only for decency and order, but for the life and power of religion. I am afraid there are very few such to be found in all the king's dominions." Ought not the call to be clear, and even imperative, that led to the dissolution of such a house? We have indeed heard the blessed woman who was at the head of it, observing with grief, "We had increased our establishment with some whose spirit did not suit our house, so that jars and a divided interest arose." And could she think the devil had fallen asleep, or that he would not take the old way,-that he would not sow tares among the wheat? Such persons should have been dismissed, after all long-suffering had been manifested. We should add to our loving faith, courage, knowing for whom we are to act. As this way, it seems, was not taken, we cannot wonder that the leaven should win its way, and a cloud overspread the once illuminated mansion. In such a dark day, it is no wonder that "cares and fears" should assault her devoted heart, so that she hardly knew her own state, and had almost given up her confidence. A new way seemed to open, of which Mr. Taylor was the harbinger,-a way so entangled with briers and thorns, that there seemed, at length, hardly any hope of deliverance. But the ill as to be carried in arms in and out of the chaise, and to be watched with every night; and the bringing down so large a family two hundred miles, was attended with no little difficulty. We went first to Mr. Taylor's wife's parents, where we found a family of serious persons. The old man and woman were patterns of industry and seriousness; and the wife a person with whom I found much fellowship of spirit. We stayed with them seven weeks, until we could find a house which for the present would suit our purpose, which we at length did at Gildersom, in the West Riding of Yorkshire. My dear companion now began to sink daily; but as the account of her last scene is included in her life, I will not enter into any particulars of it here, only add that on the seventeenth of August, 1768, she experienced, in reality, what she had seen in her dream, viz., that "He would kiss her raptured soul away." She departed this life in the forty-fourth year of her age. Thus passed the dreaded moment which I had for seven years so painfully apprehended. But she had often in her illness said to me, 66 My dear friend, I have obtained for you of the Lord that you shall not be overcome of sorrow; therefore fear not, for I know he heard me." Her prayer was, in a great degree, answered; I was not overcome of sorrow. The thought of her long suffering, and present happiness, much alleviated the bitter cup which I had tasted of occasionally for some years. My great affliction did not come at once. The Lord treated me as we do a child; he put one thing into my hand to take away another. I thought I saw some comfortable prospects before me in life, and a veil was drawn over the many and great crosses which were to follow. I prayed I might be kept close to the will of God, and preserved Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptation: and until then, 'Darkly safe with God, thy soul His arm still onward bears, Till through each tempest, on the whole, A peace Divine appears!" This was the blessed result. The Lord turned her captivity, and filled her mouth with laughter, and her tongue with praise.-ED. from turning to the right hand or to the left, now that I had lost my spiritual mother. But I did not wish to die, neither could I get my heart into that spiritual frame 1 had enjoyed in the year 1762, and therefore being min. gled with earth, I felt all my ties were not cut through. I had sometimes conversed with her on the subject of departed spirits having communion with us, and she used to say, "If it be the will of my heavenly Father, I should rejoice to communicate some comfort to you, either in a dream or any other way. But I never had even the slight. est remembrance of her in any dream for some months, though she possessed so great a share in my waking thoughts. I often wondered at this, till one night, I think six months after her death, I thought she was ho vering over me, as in a cloud, and from thence spoke in her own voice some lines in verse; but I could only retain the latter part, which were these words: Mingle with earth we can no more But when you worship God alone, By which I understood she meant, I was not in that purity which was requisite for communion with heavenly spirits; but it raised in my heart an expectation that such a sea. son would come. My invaluable friend was buried in Leeds old church. yard; where to her name and age were added only these words, "Who lived and died a Christian." PART THE THIRD. HER SETTLEMENT IN YORKSHIRE. My health began to fail. I had for three years had much fatigue in nursing my dear friend; and some crosses which now flowed in apace greatly affected me. I grew large, and had dropsical symptoms. My soul was |