"I feel a sad strangeness between God and my soul from careless unbelieving prayer. I am afraid the work of grace is but shallow. I pray, but look not for an answer from above: but while I consider at the times of prayer every grace as coming from God, yet in the general tenor of my course, I seem to lay the greater stress on my endeavors, heedless of the strength of Christ."— "How much better is it to have a peaceful sense of my own wretchedness, and a humble waiting upon God for sanctifying grace, than to talk much and appear to be somebody in religion!"

"O my God, who seest me write, and recordest in the book of thy remembrance more faithfully my sins and backslidings; bring down my soul to repent in dust and ashes for my waste of time, carnal complacency and self-sufficiency. I would desire to devote myself anew to thee in Christ; though I fear I hardly know what it means, so great is really my ignorance of myself."

"Short and superficial in prayer this morning, and there undoubtedly is the evil. Read LowthLearnt 15th John; and endeavored faintly to be drawing nigh unto God. Read D. Brainerd's Journal in the afternoon. At Mr. Simeon's church this evening, my mind was wandering and stupid. His sermon was very impressive, on Rev. iii, 2. Thanks to God that though my graces are declining, and my corruptions increasing, I am not unwilling to be reclaimed. For with all this evil

in my heart, I would not, could not choose any other than God for my portion.”—“At dear Mr. Simeon's rooms, I perceived that I had given him pain by inattention to his kind instructions. Base wretch that I am, that by carelessness and unmortified pride, I should thus ungratefully repay his unexampled kindness. But if the sense of ingratitude to man be thus painful, what ought I not to feel in reference to God, that good and holy Being, whose sparing mercy keeps me out of hell, though I daily dishonor Christ, and grieve his holy Spirit! But O my soul! it is awful to trifle in religion. Confession is not repentance, neither is the knowledge of sin contrition."-"Hearing I was to meet two men who were not serious, I felt pride, contempt, and discontent, to be the torment of my heart.". "Condemn myself for not exerting myself in doing good to man, by visiting the sick, &c. Certainly every grace must be in exercise, if we would enjoy the communion of the perfect God. I am the Almighty God, walk before me, and be thou perfect.' Every wheel of the chariot must be in motion to gain the race."

"Was in a composed state, but security led to pride. On my looking up to God, for pardon of it, and for deliverance from it, I feel overwhelmed with guilt. How fast does pride ripen the soul for hell!"-"Retained the manna of past experience till it putrified in my hands."-"How utterly forgetful have I been this day of the need of Christ's

grace, of my own poverty and vileness! Let me then remember, that all apparent joy in God without humility, is a mere delusion of Satan."—"This is my birth-day, and I am ashamed to review it. Lord Jesus, watch over me in the deceitful calm! Let me beware of the lethargy, lest it terminate in death. I desire on this day to renew my vows to the Lord, and O that every succeeding year of my life may be more devoted to His glory than the last.".

"I thought that my fretfulness and other marks of an unsubdued spirit arose from a sense of my corruption, and a secret dependence on my own powers for a cure. Were I to bring the maladies of my soul to the great Physician, in simple reliance on his grace, I should, with many other benefits, receive a cure of that bane of my peace, disappointed arrogance, which proudly seeks for good, where it never can be found. In every disease of the soul, let me charge myself with the blame, and Christ with the cure of it, so shall I be humbled and Christ glorified."-"I do not doubt but that I belong to God, yet I am afraid to rejoice in that relation. I do not live in the sense of my own helplessness, and therefore do not perceive that my security is not in myself, but in Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, to-day, and forever." -"I found that the omission of my Journal had been attended with bad effects. O wretched man that I am! If God's word did not unequivocally

declare the desperate wickedness of the heart, I should sink down in despair. Nothing but infinite grace can save me. But that which most grieves me, is, that I am not humbled at the contemplation of myself."

"When I look back on every day, I may say I have lost it. So much time mispent, so many opportunities lost of doing good, by spreading the knowledge of the truth by conversation, by example: so little zeal for God, or love to man; so much vanity and levity and pride and selfishness, that I may well tremble at the world of iniquity within. If ever I am saved, it must be by grace. May God give me a humble, contrite, childlike, affectionate spirit, and a willingness to forego my ease continually for his service."

"What is my Journal, but a transcript of my follies? what else is the usual state of my mind, but weakness, vanity, and sin? O that I could meditate constantly upon divine things; that the world and its poor concerns did no more distract my heart from God, But how little I know or experience of the power of Christ! Truly I find my proneness to sin, and that generally prevailing ignorance of my mind by which all motives to diligence and love are made to disappear, to be my misery. Now therefore I desire to become a fool, that I may be wise: the meek will he guide in judgment.'

"I felt humbled at the remembrance of mispent hours, and while this frame of mind continued, all the powers of my soul were perceptibly refreshed. The last three chapters of St. John were peculiarly sweet and I longed to love.-Mr. Simeon preached on John xv, 12; This is my commandment, that ye love one another as I have loved you.' I saw my utter want of such a love as he described it: so disinterested, sympathizing, beneficent, and selfdenying. Resolved to make the acquisition of it the daily subject of my future endeavors."-“I cared not what was the state of pleasure or pain in my heart, so I knew its depth of iniquity, and could be poor and contrite in spirit; but it is hard and stubborn and ignorant."-"Pride shews itself every hour of every day; what long and undisturbed possession does self-complacency hold of my heart! what plans and dreams and visions of futurity fill my imagination, in which self is the prominent object.”—“In my intercourse with some of my dear friends, the workings of pride were but too plainly marked in my outward demeanor-on looking up to God for pardon for it, and deliverance from it, I felt overwhelmed with guilt."-"I was unwilling to resume my studies, while so much seemed to remain to be done in my own heart. Read Hopkins' Sermon on true happiness, and analyzed it. The obedience required in it terrified me at first, but afterwards I could adore God, that he had required me to be perfectly holy. I thought I could