glorious and abusive; Plutarch, that he was vain, but not abusive. Let the reader believe which of them he pleases. After this he complains to the world that I call him names; and that in my passion I said, "He was a flea, a louse, an owl, a bat, a small wit, a scribbler, and a nibbler." When he has thus bespoken his reader's pity, he falls into that admirable vein of mirth, which I shall set down at length, it being an exquisite piece of raillery, and written in great gaiety of heart. "After this list of names, (viz. flea, louse, owl, bat, &c.,) I was surprised to hear him say, that he has hitherto kept his temper pretty well; I wonder how he will write when he has lost his temper? I suppose, as he now is very angry and unmannerly, he will then be exceedingly courteous and good-humoured." If I can outlive this raillery, I shall be able to bear anything. There is a method of criticism made use of by this author, (for I shall take care how I call him a scribbler again,) which may turn into ridicule any work that was ever written, wherein there is a variety of thoughts: this the reader will observe in the following words; "He (meaning me) is so intent upon being something extraordinary, that he scarce knows what he would be; and is as fruitful in his similes as a brother of his whom I lately took notice of. In the compass of a few lines he compares himself to a fox, to Daniel Burgess, to the Knight of the Red Cross, to an oak with ivy about it, and to a great man with an equipage." I think myself as much honoured by being joined in this part of his paper with the gentleman whom he here calls my brother, as I am in the beginning of it, by being mentioned with Horace and Virgil. 1 It is very hard that a man cannot publish ten papers without stealing from himself; but to show you that this is only a knack of writing, and that the author is got into a certain road of criticism, I shall set down his remarks on the works of the gentleman whom he here glances upon, as they stand on his 6th paper, and desire the reader to compare them with the foregoing passage upon mine. "In thirty lines his patron is a river, the Primum Mobile, a Pilot, a Victim, the Sun, Anything, and Nothing. He bestows increase, conceals his source, makes the machine 1 Dr. Garth. move, teaches to steer, expiates our offences, raises vapours, and looks larger as he sets."1 What poem can be safe from this sort of criticism? I think I was never in my life so much offended as at a wag whom I once met with in a coffee-house: he had in his hand one of the miscellanies, and was reading the following short copy of verses, which, without flattery to the author, is (I think) as beautiful in its kind as any one in the English tongue. Flavia the least and slightest toy, This fan in meaner hands would prove An engine of small force in love; But she with such an air and mien, Not to be told, or safely seen, Directs its wanton motions so, That it wounds more than Cupid's bow: 2 When this coxcomb had done reading them, "Heyday! (says he,) what instrument is this that Flavia employs in such a manner as is not to be told, or safely seen? In ten lines it is a toy, a Cupid's bow, a fan, and an engine in love. It has wanton motions, it wounds, it cools, and inflames." Such criticisms make a man of sense sick, and a fool merry. The next paragraph of the paper we are talking of, falls upon somebody whom I am at a loss to guess at: but I find the whole invective turns upon a man who (it seems) has been imprisoned for debt. Whoever he was, I most heartily pity him; but at the same time must put the Examiner in mind, that notwithstanding he is a critic, he still ought to remember he is a Christian. Poverty was never thought a proper subject for ridicule; and I do not remember that I ever met with a satire upon a beggar. As for those little retortings of my own expressions, of being dull by design, witty in October, shining, excelling, and so forth; they are the common cavils of every witling, who has no other method of showing his parts, but by little variations and repetitions of the man's words whom he attacks. But the truth of it is, the paper before me, not only in this particular, but in its very essence, is like Ovid's echo: 1 Dr. Garth's verses to my Lord Treasurer. VOL. II. 2 The author.] Dr. Atterbury. N Quæ nec reticere loquenti, Nec prior ipsa loqui didicit. I should not have deserved the character of a censor, had I not animadverted upon the above-mentioned author by a gentle chastisement: but I know my reader will not pardon me, unless I declare, that nothing of this nature for the future (unless it be written with some wit) shall divert me from my care of the public.1 No. 240. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 21, 1710. Ad populum phaleras. PERS. From my own Apartment, October 20. I Do not remember that in any of my lucubrations I have touched upon that useful science of physic, notwithstanding I have declared myself more than once a professor of it. I have indeed joined the study of astrology with it, because I never knew a physician recommend himself to the public who had not a sister art to embellish his knowledge in medicine. It has been commonly observed in compliment to the ingenious of our profession, that Apollo was god of verse as well as physic; and in all ages the most celebrated practitioners of our country were the particular favourites of the muses. Poetry to physic is indeed like the gilding to a 'pill; it makes the art shine, and covers the severity of the doctor with the agreeableness of the companion. The very foundation of poetry is good sense, if we may allow Horace to be a judge of the art. Scribendi recte sapere est, et principium, et fons. And if so, we have reason to believe, that the same man who writes well can prescribe well, if he has applied him The caustic severity of this, and the preceding paper, is the more felt for being conveyed in all the softness of good-humour.-To possess extraordinary talents for personal ridicule, and to be shy of appearing in this dazzling character, is, I think, a praise peculiar to Virgil, and Mr. Addison. It is but from two or three lines in the Roman poet, and from two or three occasional papers, in the large and miscellaneous works of our author, that either is known to have been the keenest satirist of his time; Horace and Swift not excepted. 2 Were.] Rather "have been." self to the study of both. Besides, when we see a man making profession of two different sciences, it is natural for us to believe he is no pretender in that which we are not judges of, when1 we find him skilful in that which we understand. Ordinary quacks and charlatans are thoroughly sensible how necessary it is to support themselves by these collateral assistances, and therefore always lay their claim to some supernumerary accomplishments which are wholly foreign to their profession. About twenty years ago, it was impossible to walk the streets without having an advertisement thrust into your hand, of a doctor “who was arrived at the knowledge of the green and red dragon, and had discovered the female fern seed." Nobody ever knew what this meant; but the green and red dragon so amused the people, that the doctor lived very comfortably upon them. About the same time there was pasted a very hard word upon every corner of the streets. This, to the best of my remembrance, was TETRACHYMAGOGON, which drew great shoals of spectators about it, who read the bill that it introduced with unspeakable curiosity; and when they were sick, would have nobody but this learned man for their physician. I once received an advertisement of one "who had studied thirty years by candle-light for the good of his countrymen." He might have studied twice as long by day-light, and never have been taken notice of: but elucubrations cannot be overvalued. There are some who have gained themselves great reputation for physic by their birth, as the "seventh son of a seventh son; " and others by not being born at all, as the "unborn doctor," who, I hear, is lately gone the way of his patients, having died worth five hundred pounds per annum, though he was not "born" to a halfpenny. My ingenious friend Dr. Saffold succeeded my old contemporary Dr. Lilly in the studies both of physic and astrology, to which he added that of poetry, as was to be seen both upon the sign where he lived, and in the bills which he distributed. He was succeeded by Doctor Case, who erased When.] To avoid an ungraceful repetition, he should have said—“ if we find." the verses of his predecessor out of the sign-post, and substituted in their stead two of his own, which were as follow: Within this Place Lives Doctor Case. He is said to have got more by this distich than Mr. Dryden did by all his works. There would be no end of enumerating the several imaginary perfections and unaccountable artifices by which this tribe of men insnare the minds of the vulgar, and gain crowds of admirers. I have seen the whole front of a mountebank's stage from one end to the other faced with patents, certificates, medals, and great seals, by which the several princes of Europe have testified their particular respect and esteem for the doctor. Every great man with a sounding title has been his patient. I believe I have seen twenty mountebanks that have given physic to the Czar of Muscovy. The Great Duke of Tuscany escapes no better. The Elector of Brandenburg was like wise a very good patient. This great condescension of the doctor draws upon him much good-will from his audience; and it is ten to one, but if any of them be troubled with an aching tooth, his ambition will prompt him to get it drawn by a person who has had so many princes, kings, and emperors under his hands. I must not leave this subject without observing, that as physicians are apt to deal in poetry, apothecaries endeavour to recommend themselves by oratory, and are therefore, without controversy, the most eloquent persons in the whole British nation. I would not willingly discourage any of the arts, especially that of which I am an humble professor; but I must confess, for the good of my native country, I could wish there might be a suspension of physic for some years, that our kingdom, which has been so much exhausted by the wars, might have leave to recruit itself. As for myself, the only physic which has brought me safe to almost the age of man, and which I prescribe to all my friends, is abstinence. This is certainly the best physic for prevention, and very often the most effectual against the present distemper. In short, my recipe is, "Take nothing." Were the body politic to be physicked like particular persons, I should venture to prescribe to it after the same I remember when our whole island was shaken manner. |