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Uncork the bottle, and chip the bread.
Apply thine engine to the Spungy door ;
Set Bricchus froin his gially prison free,
And strip white Ceres of her nut-brown coat.


A projelt for the advancement of the baihos.

HUS have I, my dear countrymen, with incre.

dible pains and diligence, dilcovered the hidden fources of the bathos, or, as I

may lay, broke


thie abysses of this great deep. And having now estab ished good and wholelo ne laws, what remains, but that all true moderns, with their utmost might, do proceed to put the same in execution ? in order whereto, I think I shall, in the second place, highly deletve of my country, by pro. posing such a schemie as may fauilitate this great end.

As our number is confesedly far fuperior to that of the enemy,

there seems nothing wanting but unanimity among ourselves. It is therefore humbly offered, that all and every individual of the bathos do enter into a firma alluciation, and incorporate into one regular body, whereof every member, even the meanest, will fomeway contribute to the support of the whole; in like manner, as the weakest reeds, when joined in one bundle, become infrangible. To which end our art ought to be put upon the same foot with other arts of this age. The valt im. provement of modern manufacIures aileth from their being divided into several branches, and parcelled out to feveral trades : for instanre, in clock.naking one artist makes the balance, another the spring, arother the crown-wheels, a fourth the case, and the principal work. mian puts all together : to this economy we owe the perfection of our modern watches, and doubtless we allo might that of our modern poetry and rhetoric, were the several parts branched out in the like manner.

Nothing is more evident, than that divers perłons, no other way remarkable, hare e ich a strong disposition to the formation of some particular trope or figure. Ari. VOL. V,



stotle faith, that “ the hyperbole is an ornament fit for young men of quality ;” accordiirgly we find in thole gentlemen a wonderful propensity towards it, which is marvellously improved by travelling. Soldiers also and seamen are very happy in the same figure. The peri. phrafis or circumlocution is the peculiar talent of coun. try farmers ; the proverb and apologue of old men at clubs; the elipsis, or speech by balf-words, of mini. sters and politicians ; the apofiopesis of courtiers; the litotes, or diminution, of ladies, whisperers, and backbiters ; and the airadiplosis of common cryers and hawkers, who, by redoubling the same words, persuade people to buy their oysters, green bastings, or new ballads. Epithets may be found in great plenty at Billingsgate, Jarcafin and irony learned upon the water, and the epiphonema or exclamation frequently from the Bear-garden, and as fre. quently from the hear him of the house of commons.

Now, each man applying bis whole time and genius upon his particular figure, would doubtless attain to pero fection ; and when each became ircorporated and fuora into the fociety, as hath been proposed, a poet or orator would have no more to do but to send to the par. ticular traders in each kind, to the metaphorist for his allegories, to the simile nicker for his comparisons, to the ironis for his sarcasms, to the apotheginatis for his sentences, &c, whereby a dedication or speech would be composed in a moment, the fuperior artist having nothing to do but to put together all the materials.

I therefore propose, that there be contrived, with all convenient dispatch, at the public expence, a rhetorical chefi of drawers, col.listing of three stories, the highest for the deliberative, the middle for the demonftrative, and the lowest for the judicial. They shall be divided into loci or places, being repositories for matter and are gument in the several kinds of oration or writing ; and every drawer shall agaio be subdivided into cells, refem. bling thole of cabinets for rarities. The apartment for peace or war, and that of the liberty of the prefs, may, in a very few days, be filled with several argun:ents pere fectly new; and the vituperative partition will as easily be replenished witb a most cioice collection, entirely of ibe growth and manufacture of the present age. Every con


reverend prelate,

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to mapa e all the registers of it, which will be drawn out poser will soon be taught the use of this cabinet, and how much in the manner of hole in an organ.

The keys of it must be kept in honest hands, by some alty and affection to every prelent establishinent in church and state ; which will sufficiently guard against any inif. chief, that might otherwise be apprehended from ir, tion let out, by the day, to several great orators in boch

And being lodged in fisch hands, it may be at disereboules: from whence it is to be hoped inuch profit and How to make dedications, panegyrics, or sutires; and

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or valiant officer, of unquestioned loy. gain will also accrue to our society.



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of the colours of honourable and dishonourubie. Tow, of what necessity the foregoing proje& may

prove, will appear from this single contideration, that nothing is of equal conlequence to the fucceís of our

as speed and dispatch. Great pity it is, that 10lid brains are not like other folid bodies, constantly endowed with a velocity in Goking proportioned to their

heaviness : for it is with the Howers of the bathus as with 14 skole of nature, which, if the careful gardiner brings nar 1. hasily to market in the morning, must un profitably perish vil and wither before night. And of all our productions

none is so short liv'd as the dedication and panegyric, which are often but the praise of a day, and become hy the next utterly useless, improper, indecent, and talle. This is the more to be lamented, inafinuch as these two are the forts, whereon in a manner depends that profit, which must still be remembered to be the main end of our writers and speakers.

We shall therefore employ this chapter in shewing the quickest method of composing them ; after which we will teach a mort way to epic poetry.

And these being con. felfedly the works of moit importance and difficulty, it is prefúmed we may leave the rest to each author's own learning or practice.


I 2

First of panegyric. Eycry man is honourable, who is fu by law, curtoin, or title. The public are better judges of what is honourable, thin private men. The virtues of greit mun, like those ot plants, are inherent in then wither they are exerted or noi ; and the more strongly inierunt, the less they are exerted ; as a man is the more rich, the lufs he spends. All great ministers, without either private or @conomical virive, are virtuous by their pulis ; liberal and generou, upon the public motley ; pro. vident upon public Supplies; just by paying public interesi; tourigious and magnanimous by the fiects and ar mies; magnificent upua the public experces, and prudent by. public fuccefs. They have, by their office, a right to a Thule ot tive public fork of virtues; besides they are, by pre'cription immcinorial, invelted in all the celebrated virtues of their predeceffors in the faine stations, efpeciall; those of their ow: ancestors.

Asto what are commonly called the colours of honour abie and dishonourable, they are various in different coud. lies: in this thuy are blue, green, and redi

But forafanuch as the duty we owe to the public doth alten require, that we should put some things in a stroog light, and throw a hade over otliers, I shall explain the method of turning a vicious inan inco a hero.

The first and Chief rule is the golden rule of tranfor mation, which consists in converting vices into their bordering virtues, A man who is a spend thrift, und will not pay a just dobt, may have bis injustice transformed into liberality ; cowardice may be metamorphoted into prudence ; intemperance in:o good nature and good fellowship ; corruption into patriotismı ; and lewdness into tenderness and facility.

The second is the rule of coutraries :-it is certain, the less a man is endowed with any virtue, the more need le has to have it plentifully bestowed, especially those good qualities, of which the world generally believes he hath sone at all : for who will thank a man for giving hiin that which he has?:

The reverse of these precepts will serve for satire, wincrein we are ever to remark, that whoso loleib his place, or becomes out of favour with the government, bath fuifiitedbis here, in public praise and lonour

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Therefore the truly public-spirited writer ought in duty to strip birn, whom the governmeut hath stripped ; which is the real poetical justice of this age, For a full col. Icetion of topics and epithets to be used in the praise and dispraise of ministerial and uominiiterial persons, I refer to our 1 hetorical cabinet : concluding with an earnest exhortation to all my brethren to observe the precepis bere laid down, the negicet of which bath coit some of them their ears in a pillory.

CH A P. XV..


A receipt to make an epic poeni,
Nepic poem, the cricies agree, is the greatest work

humn in nature is capable of. They have already Jail down many mechanical rules for compositions of this · fort

, but at the same time they cut off almost all under. takers from the pollibility of ever performing them; for the first qualification they unanimously require in a poet, is a genius. I thull liere endeavour, for the beveði of

my countrymen, to make it manifest, that an epic poem, may be made without a genius, nay, without learning or much reading. This must necessarily be of great use to all those, who confess they never read; and of whom the world is convinced they never learn. Moliere cblerves of making a dinner, that any man can do it with money, and it a profelfed cook cannot do it without, he has his art for nothing: the same may be laid of making a poem, it i is ealily brou_ht about by him that has a genius, but the skill lies in doing it without one. lo pursuince of this end, Ithill present the reader with a plain and ceit in recije, by which any author in the bathos muy te qualified for : this grand performance.

For the FABLE: Tike out of any old poem, history book, romance, or legend (for instance, Geoffery of Monmouth, or Don Belianis of Greece), those parts o the story which afford most scope for long defcriptions : put these pieces together, and throw all the adventures you fancy into one tale. Then take a hero, whoin you may chuse for the


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