Imágenes de páginas

it was thought a good expedient to set up Esquire South's title*, to prove the will forged, and difpofsefs Philip Lord Siruti at once. Here again was a new field for the lawyers, and the cause grew more intricate than ever. Jolo grew madder and mudder; where ever he met any of Loid Siruit's lervants, he tore off their cloaths : now and then you would see them come l.ome naked, without Inocs, stockings, or linen. As for old Lewis Baboon, he was reduced to his last thift, though he had as many as any other : his children were reduced from rich silks to Dojly stuffs, his servants in rags, and bare footed ; ioitead of good victuals, they now lived upon neck-beet, and bullock's liver: in short, oo. body got ouch by the maltor, but the men of law.


Hew Jhn Bull was fo mightily pleased with his fuccefs,

that he was going to leave of his trade, and turu baw; er.


T is wisely observed by a great philofopher, that haof Joba Bull, who, trom an lonest and plaio tradelman, bait got such a haunt about the courts of justice, and such a jirgon of law words, that he concluded himself as able a laivyer as any that pleaded at the bar, or fat on the bench: he was overheird one day talking to himself af. fer this manner. “ How capricioudy + docs fate or chance “it is the profellion of a gentleman. What a pleasure " is it to be victorious in a cause? co fwagger at the bar? “ Wbat a fool am I to drudge any more in this woollen * trade? for a lawyer I was born, and a lawyer I will " be; one is never too old to learn.” All this while Joha had conned over luch a catalogue of hard words, as were enough to conjure up the devil ; these he used to babble indifferently in all companies, especially at coffee-houses ; fo that his neighbour tradelinen began to shun his company as a man that was cracked. loftead of the affairs of Black. well-hail, and price of broad-cloath, wool and bayses, he talks of nothing but actions upon the case, returns, capias, elias capias, demurrers, venire facias, replevins, Super, Jedeas's, certiorari's, writs of error, actions of trover and conversion, trespasses, précipe's and dedimus. This was matter of jest to the learned in law ; however, Hocus, and the rest of the tribe, encouraged Jobu in his fancy, assuring him, that he had a great genius for 123v. ; that they questioned not, but in time they might raise money enough by it to reimburse him all his charges; that if he studied, he would undoubtedly arrive to the dignity CH A P. VIII.

dispose of mankind ? How feldon is that bulinels at. “ lotted to a man, for which he is fitted by nature? It " is plain, I was intended for a man of law : how did

iny guardians mistake my genius in placing me, like a

mean lave, behind a counter! Bless me! what im. < menfe estates these fellows raise by the law ? Belides,

* It was in filied, that the will in favour of Philip was contrary to trcaty; and there was a parliamentary declaration for continuing the war, till he hould be dethroned.

† The manners and fenuinents of the nation became extravigant and chaicrical.

of a Lord chief Justice *:. as for the advice of honelt friends and neighbours, John despised it ; he looked.upa on them as fellows of a low genius, poor groveling me. chanics ; Johd reckoned it inore honour to have got one favourable verdict, than 10 have fold a bale of broadcloach. As for Nic. Frog, to-lay the truth, he was more prudent ; for though he followed his law.luit closely, he beglected not his ordinary business, but was both in court and in his shop at the proper hours..

[merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

How Jolin discovered, that Hocus had an intrigue with

his wife ; and what followed thereupon. JO TOHN had not run on a-madding so long, had it not

been for an extravagant bitch of a wife, whom Hocus perceiving John to be fond of, was resolved to win over to his side. It is a true faying, that the last man of the parish, that knows of his cuckoldom, is himself. It was observed by all the neighbourhood, that Hocus had dealings with John's wife * that were not so much for lis honour; but this was perceived by John a little too late : she was a luxurious jade, loved splendid equipèges, plays, treats and balls, differed very inucli from the lober manners of her ancestors, and by no means fit for å tradel: man's wife. Hocus fed her extravgancy (what was still more shameful) with John's own money. Every body faid, that Hocus liad a morth's mind to her body ; be that as it will, it is matter of fact, that upon all occafions the run out extravagantly on the praise of Hocus. When John used to be finding fault with his bills, the used to reproach lim as ungrateful to bis greatest benef.ctor; one that had taken so much pains in his law-fuit, and retrieved his family from the oppretlion of old Lewis Baboon. A good swinging sum of Jobo’s realieft cash went towards building of Hocus's country. house t. This affair between Hocus and Mrs. Bull was now lo open, that all the world were fcandalized at it; John was not so clod-pated, but at last he took the hint. T'he parson $ of the parish preached one day with more

* And it was believed, that the General tam pered with the parliament,

† Who settled upon him the mannor of Woodstock, and afterwards entailed that, with sooo l. per annum, payable out of the post-office: to defcend with his houours; over and above this an immense fum was expended in building Blenheim-house. About this time (Nov. 6. 1709.)

# Dr. Henry Sacheverel preached a sermon against popular re. liftance of regal auctioriiy.


zeal than fense against adultery. * Mrs. Bull told her husband, that he was a very uncivil fellow to use such coarse language before people of condition ; that Hocus was of the same mind; and that they would join to have hios turned out of his living for using per‘onal reflections ; How do you mean, says John, by personal reflections ? I hope in God, wife, he did not reflect upon you ?" No, “thank God, my reputation is too well established in the " world to receive any hurt froin fuch a foul-mouthed

scoundrel as he : his doctrine tends only to make huf. “bands tyranis, and wives Naves ; must we be shut up, " and husbands left to their liberty ? Very pretty indeed!

a wife must never go abroad with a Platonic to see a "play or a ball; Me must never stir without her husband; "nor walk in Spring-garden with a coufin. I do say, “ husband, and I will stand by it, that, without the in. “nocent freedoms of life, matrimony would be a most "intolerable state; and that a wite's virtue ought to be “the refult of her own reason, and not of her husband's

government ; for my part, I would scorn a husband " that would be jealous, if he saw a fellow a-bed with "met.” All this while John's blood boiled in his veids: he was now confirmed in all his luspicions ; jade, bitch, and whore were the best words that John gave her f. . Things went from better to worse, till Mrs, Bull aimed a knife at John ll, though John threw a bottle ** at her bead, very brutally indeed 7t ; and after this, there was

• The house of commons voted this fermon a libel on her Ma. jelty and her government, the revolution, the protestant fuccession, and the parliament; they impeached him of high crimes and misdemeanours ; he was silenced for three years, and the fermon burnt by the bangman.

$ These proceedings caused a great ferment in the nation.

| The house complained of being aspersed and vilified ; opprobrious terms were used by both parties, and'one had recourse to

| military power, because it was assaulted by the other with ** tumult and riot.

# The confusion every day increased : the whig or low church party in the house of commons began to decline; after much contention and debate


nothing but confusion : bottles, glasses, fpoons, plates, knives, forks, and dilhes flew about like duft ; the selult of which was, that Mrs. Bull * received a bruise in her right (de, of which the died half a year after. The bruile imposthumated, and afterwards turned to a stinking. ulcer, which made every body fly to come near ber ; yet {he wanted not the help of many able physicians, who at

ended very diligently, and did what men of kill could do: but all to no purpole, for her condition was vow quite desperate, all regular physicians, and her nearest se bations, having given her over.



[ocr errors][ocr errors]

How some quacks undertook to cure Mrs Bull of her ulcort.
T to ,

HERE is nothing to impossible in nature but but they will affirm : Mrs. Bull's condition was looked upon as desperate by all the men of art ; but there were those that bragged they had an infallible ointment and plaister, which being applied to the fore, would cure it in a few days ; at the same time they would give her a pill, that would purge off all her bad humours, sweeten her blood, and rectify her disturbed imagination. In spite of all applications, the patient grew worse every day; she stunk so, no-body durft come within a stone's throw of her, except those quacks who attended her clofe, and apprehended no danger. If one asked them, how Mrs. Bull did ? BE and better, laid they ; the parts heal, and her con{ticution mends ; if she submits to our government, she will be abroad in a little time. Nay, it is reported, that they wrote to her friends in the country, that she should dance a jigg next October in WestminsterHall, and that her illness had been chiefly owing to bad physicians. At last, one of them was sent for in great bastef, his patient grew worse and worse : when he came,

* the parliament was prorogued';;

+ and notwithstanding many attempts to prolong it, particularly dome difficulties started by the Lord Chancellor, it was disolved on the 211 Sept. 17.10.


« AnteriorContinuar »