it was thought a good expedient to fet up Efquire South's title, to prove the will forged, and difpoffefs Philip Lord Strutt at once. Here again was a new field for the lawyers, and the cause grew more intricate than ever. John grew madder and madder; where ever he met any of Lord Strutt's fervants, he tore off their cloaths: now and then you would fee them come home naked, without fhoes, stockings, or linen. As for old Lewis Baboon, he was reduced to his laft fhift, though he had as many as any other: his children were reduced from rich filks to Doily stuffs, his fervants in rags, and bare footed; inftead of good victuals, they now lived upon neck-beef, and bullock's liver: in fhort, no body got much by the matter, but the men of law.

CHAP. VII.

Hew John Bull was fo mightily pleafed with his fuccefs, that he was going to leave off his trade, and turn lawyer.

Tis wifely obferved by a great philofopher, that habit is a fecond nature: this was verified in the cafe of John Bull, who, from an honeft and plain tradefman, had got fuch a haunt about the courts of justice, and such a jargon of law words, that he concluded himself able a lawyer as any that pleaded at the bar, or fat on the bench: he was overheard one day talking to himself affer this manner. “How capricioufly † does fate or chance difpofe of mankind? How feldom is that bufinels at"lotted to a man, for which he is fitted by nature? It

is plain, I was intended for a man of law: how did (6 ny guardians miftake my genius in placing me, like a

mean flave, behind a counter? Blefs me! what im"nenfe eftates these fellows raife by the law? Befides,

* It was infified, that the will in favour of Philip was contrary to treaty; and there was a parliamentary declaration for continuing the war, till he fhould be dethroned.

The manners and fentiments of the nation became extravagant and chimerical.

"it is the profeffion of a gentleman. What a pleasure " is it to be victorious in a caufe? to fwagger at the bar "What a fool am I to drudge any more in this woollen

trade? for a lawyer I was born, and a lawyer I will "be; one is never too old to learn." All this while John had conned over fuch a catalogue of hard words, as were enough to conjure up the devil; these he used to babble indifferently in all companies, especially at coffee-houses; fo that his neighbour tradefinen began to fhun his company as a man that was cracked. Instead of the affairs of Blackwell-hall, and price of broad-cloath, wool and bayses, he talks of nothing but actions upon the cafe, returns, capias, alias capias, demurrers, venire facias, replevins, fuper. fedeas's, certiorari's, writs of error, actions of trover and converfion, trefpales, precipe's and dedimus. This was matter of jeft to the learned in law; however, Hocus, and the rest of the tribe, encouraged Johu in his fancy, affuring him, that he had a great genius for law; that they questioned not, but in time they might raise money enough by it to reimburse him all his charges; that if he ftudied, he would undoubtedly arrive to the dignity of a Lord chief Justice *: as for the advice of honest friends and neighbours, John despised it; he looked up. on them as fellows of a low genius, poor groveling mechanics; John reckoned it more honour to have got one favourable verdict, than to have fold a bale of broadcloath. As for Nic. Frog, to lay the truth, he was more prudent; for though he followed his law-fuit clofely, he neglected not his ordinary business, but was both in court and in his shop at the proper hours..

Hold the balance of power..

CHAP.

£3

CHAP. VIII.

How John difcovered, that Hocus had an intrigue with his wife; and what followed thereupon.

JOH

[OHN had not run on a-madding fo long, had it not been for an extravagant bitch of a wife, whom Hocus perceiving John to be fond of, was refolved to win over to his fide. It is a true faying, that the last man of the parish, that knows of his cuckoldom, is himfeif. It was obferved by all the neighbourhood, that Hocus had dealings with John's wife that were not so much for his honour; but this was perceived by John a little too late : fhe was a luxurious jade, loved fplendid equipages, plays, treats and balls, differed very muelt from the fober manners of her ancestors, and by no means fit for a tradef man's wife. Hocus fed her extravagancy (what was still more fhameful) with John's own money. Every body faid, that Hocus had a month's mind to her body; be that as it will, it is matter of fact, that upon all occafions fhe run out extravagantly on the praife of Hocus. When John used to be finding fault with his bills, the used to reproach him as ungrateful to his greateft benef.&tor; one that had taken fo much pains in his law-fuit, and retrieved his family from the oppreffion of old Lewis Baboon. A good fwinging fum of John's readiest cash went towards building of Hocus's countryhoufet. This affair between Hocus and Mrs. Bull was now lo open, that all the world were fcandalized at it; John was not fo clod-pated, but at last he took the hint. The parfon of the parish preached one day with more

* And it was believed, that the General tampered with the parliament,

† Who fettled upon him the mannor of Woodstock, and afterwards entailed that, with 5000 1. per annum, payable out of the poft-office to defcend with his honours; over and above this an immenfe fum was expended in building Blenheim-house. About this time

(Nov. 6. 1709.)

Dr. Henry Sacheverel preached a fermon against popular re fiftance of regal authority.

zeal

zeal than fenfe against adultery. Mrs. Bull told her husband, that he was a very uncivil fellow to use such coarfe language before people of condition; that Hocus was of the fame mind; and that they would join to have him turned out of his living for ufing personal reflections ; How do you mean, fays John, by perfonal reflections? I hope in God, wife, he did not reflect upon you?" No, "thank God, my reputation is too well established in the "world to receive any hurt from fuch a foul-mouthed "fcoundrel as he his doctrine tends only to make huf. "bands tyrants, and wives flaves; muft we be shut up, "and hufbands left to their liberty? Very pretty indeed! 66 a wife must never go abroad with a Platonic to fee a "play or a ball; fhe muft never ftir without her husband; "nor walk in Spring-garden with a coufin. I do fay, "husband, and I will stand by it, that, without the in"nocent freedoms of life, matrimony would be a most "intolerable state; and that a wife's virtue ought to be "the refult of her own reason, and not of her husband's "government; for my part, I would fcorn a husband "that would be jealous, if he faw a fellow a-bed with

met." All this while John's blood boiled in his veins: he was now confirmed in all his fufpicions; jade, bitch, and whore were the best words that John gave her . Things went from better to worse, till Mrs, Bull aimed a knite at John, though John threw a bottle ** head, very brutally indeed ++; and after this, there was

at her

*The house of commons voted this fermon a libel on her Majesty and her government, the revolution, the proteftant fucceffion, and the parliament; they impeached him of high crimes and mifdemeanours; he was filenced for three years, and the fermon burnt by the hangman.`

Thefe proceedings caufed a great ferment in the nation.

The house complained of being aspersed and vilified; opprobrious terms were used by both parties, and one had recourfe to military power, because it was assaulted by the other with ** tumult and riot.

tt The confufion every day increased: the whig or low church party in the houfe of commons began to decline; after much contention and debate

nothing

nothing but confufion: bottles, glaffes, fpoons, plates, knives, forks, and difhes flew about like duft; the refult of which was, that Mrs. Bull received a bruife in her right fide, of which he died half a year after. The bruife impofthumated, and afterwards turned to a flinking ulcer, which made every body thy to come near her; yet the wanted not the help of many able physicians, who atended very diligently, and did what men of skill could do: but all to no purpofe, for her condition was w quite defperate, all regular physicians, and her nearest relations, having given her over.

CHAP. IX.

How fome quacks undertook to cure Mrs Bull of her ulcer.

HERE is nothing so impoflible in nature but

but they will affirm: Mrs. Bull's condition was looked upon as defperate by all the men of art; but there were thofe that bragged they had an infallible ointment and plaifter, which being applied to the fore, would cure it in a few days; at the fame time they would give her a pill, that would purge off all her bad humours, fweeten her blood, and rectify her disturbed imagination. In fpite of all applications, the patient grew worfe every day; fhe ftunk fo, no body durft come within a stone's throw of her, except thofe quacks who attended her close, and apprehended no danger. If one asked them, how Mrs Bull did Better and better, faid they; the parts heal, and her conffitution mends; if she submits to our government, she will be abroad in a little time. Nay, it is reported, that they wrote to her friends in the country, that the fhould dance a jigg next October in Westminster. Hall, and that her illness had been chiefly owing to bad phyficians. At last, one of them was fent for in great haftet, his patient grew worfe and worse: when he came,

the parliament was prorogued';:

+ and notwithstanding many attempts to prolong it, particularly Home difficulties started by the

Lord Chancellor, it was disølved on the 21st Sept. 1710.

he