dirty, footty-nofed boy; it was the bufinefs of half the fervants to attend him; the *did bawl and make rogue fuch a noife: fometimes he fell in the fire and burnt his face, fometimes broke his fhins clambering over the benches, often piffed a-bed, and always came in fo dirty, as if he had been dragged thro' the kennel at a boarding-school.. He loft his money at chuck farthing, fhuffle-cap, and all. fours; fold his books,. pawned his linen, which we were always forced to redeem. Then the whole generation of him are so in love with bagpipes and puppet thows! I wish you knew what my husband has paid at the pastry-cook'sand confectioner's for Naples bifcuit, tarts, cuftards, and fweet-meats. All this while my hufband confidered him as a gentleman of a good family, that had fallen into decay, gave him good education,. and has fettled him in a good creditable way of living, having procured him by hisintereft, one of the best places of the country: and what return, think you, does this fine gentleman make us ? He will hardly give me or my husband a good word, or a civil expreffion: inftead of Sir and Madam † (which,. though I fay it, is our due) he calls us goody and gaffer fuch a-one fays, he did us a great deal of honour to board with us; buffs and dings at fuch a rate, becaule we will not spend the little we have left to get him the title and eftate of Lord Strutt; and then, forfooth, we shall have the honour to be his woollen-drapers. Befides, Efquire South will be Elquire South ftill; fickle, proud, and ungrateful. If he behaves himfelf fo, when he depends on us for his daily bread, can any man fay what he will do when he is got above the world? D. Diego. And would you lose the honour of fo noble and generous an undertaking? Would you rather accept this fcandalous compofition, and truft that old rogue, Lewis Baboon? Mrs Bull. Look you, friend Diego, if we law it on till Lewis turns honeft, Lam afraid our credit will run low at Blackwell-ball. I wish every man had his own; but Iftill fay, that Lord Strutt's money fhines as bright, and * Something relating to the manners of a great Prince, fuperftition, love of operas, fhows, &c. † Something relating to forms and titles. chinks chinks as well as Efquire South's. I do not know any other hold, that we tradefinen have of these great folks, but their intereft; buy dear and fell cheap, and I will warrant ye you will keep your customer. The worst is, that Lord Strutt's fervants have got such a haunt about that old rogue's fhop, that it will coft us many a firkin of ftrong beer to bring them back again; and the longer they are in a bad road, the harder it will be to get them out of it. D. Diego. But poor Frog, what has he done! Oir my confcience, if there be an honeft, fincere man in the world, it is that Frog. Mrs Bull. I think, I need not tell you how much Frog has been obliged to our family from his childhood *; he carries his head high now, but he had never been the man he is, without our help. Ever since the commence- ̈ ment of this law-fuit, it has been the business of Hocus, in haring our expences, to plead for Frog. "Poor 66. Frog, fays he, is in hard circumftances, he has a numerous family, and lives from hand to mouth; his "children do not eat a bit of good victuals from one 66 year's end to the other, but live upon falt herring, "fower curd, and borecole; he does his utmost, poor "fellow, to keep things even in the world, and has exert"ed himfelf beyond his ability in this law-fuit; but he "really has not wherewithal to go on. What fignifies "this hundred pounds? place it upon your fide of the "6 account; it is a great deal to poor Frog, and a trifie' to you." This has been Hocus's conftant language, · and I am fure he has had obligations enough to us to have acted another part. 66 D. Diego. No doubt Hocus meant all this for the best, but he is a tender hearted, charitable man; Frog is in deed in hard circumstances, Mrs Bull, Hard circumftances! I fwear this is provoking to the last degree +. All the time of the law-fuit, as fast as I have mortgaged, Frog has purchased: from *On the other fide complaint was made of the unequal bur den of the war," † and of the acquifitions of the Dutch in Flanders: during thefe debates the house took in confideration. a a plain tradesman with a shop, warehouse, and a country hutt, with a dirty fifh-pond at the end of it, he is now grown a very rich country gentleman, with a noble landed eftate, noble palaces, manors, parks, gardens, and farms, finer than any we were ever mafter of. Is it not strange, when my hufband disbursed great fums every term, Frog fhould be purchafing fome new farm or manor? So that if this law-fuit lafts, he will be far the richest man in his country. What is worse than all this, he fteals away my customers every day; twelve of the richest and the belt have left my fhop by his perfuafion, and whom, to my certain knowledge, he has under bonds never to return again: judge you if this be neighbourly dealing. D. Diego. Frog is indeed pretty clofe in his dealings, but very honeft: you are fo touchy, and take things fo hotly, I am fure there must be fome mistake in this. Mrs Bull. A plaguy one indeed! You know, and have often told me of it, how Hocus, and those rogues kept my husband John Bull drunk for five years together with punch and strong waters; Lam fure he never went one night fober to bed, till they got him to fign the ftrangeft deed, that ever you faw in your life. The methods they took to manage him I will tell you another time; at prefent I will read only the writing. ARTICLES of AGREEMENT betwixt JOHN BULL, clothier, and NICHOLAS FROG, linendraper*: I. THAT for maintaining the antient good correfpondence and friendship between the faid parties, 1 NicholasFrog do folemnly engage and promile to keep peace in John Bull's family; that neither his wife, children, nor a treaty which had been concluded by the Lord Townfhend at the Hague between the Queen and the States, in 1709,. for fecuring the Proteftant fucceffion, and for fettling a barrier for Holland against Fance. And it was refolved, that feveral articles of this treaty were deftructive to the trade and interest of Great Britain, that Lord Townshend had no authority to agree. to them, and that he and all thofe, who advised ratifying the treaty, were enemies to their country. fervants fervants give him any trouble, disturbance, or moleftation whatsoever, but to oblige them all to do their duty quietly in their respective stations: and whereas the faid John Bull, from the affured confidence that be has in my friendship, has appointed me executor of his laft-will and teftament, and guardian to his children, I do undertake for me, my heirs and affigus, to fee the fime duly executed and performed, and that it fhall be unalterable in all its parts, by John Bull, or any body elfe: for that purpofe it thall be lawful and allowable for me to enter his houfe at any hour of the day or night; to break o pen bars, bolts, and doors, chefts of drawers, and strong boxes, in order to fecure the peace of my friend John Bull's family, and to fee his will duly executed. II. In confideration of which kind neighbourly office of Nicholas Frog, in that he has been pleafed to accept of the aforefaid truft, I John Bull, having duly confidered, that my friend, Nicholas Frog, at this time lives in a marhy foil and unwholefome air, infefted with fogs and damps, deftructive of the health of himself, wife, and children; do bind and oblige me, my heirs and aligns, to purchase for the fa'd Nicholas Frog, with the best and readieft of my cash, bonds, mortgages, goods, and chattles, a landed eltate, with parks, gardens, palaces, rivers, fields, and outlets, confifting of as large extent as the faid Nicholas Frog fhall think fit. And whereas the faid Nicholas Frog is at prefent hemmed in too clofe by the grounds of Lewis Baboon, mafter of the fcience of defence, I the faid John Bull do oblige myself, with the readieft of my cafh, to purchase and inciofe the faid grounds, for as may fields and acres as the faid Nicholas fhall think fit; to the extent that the faid Nicholas may have free egrefs and regrefs, without lett or molcitation, fuitable to the demands of himself and family. III. Furthermore, the faid John Bull obliges himself to make the country neighbours of Nicholas Frog, allot a certain part of yearly rents to pay for the repairs of the faid landed eftate, to the intent that his good friend Nicholas Frog may be eafed of all charges. IV. And whereas the faid Nicholas Frog did contract with the deceafed Lord Strutt about certain liberties, pri vileges, and immunities, formerly in the poffeffion of the faid John Bull; I the faid John Bull do freely by the'e prefents, renounce, quit, and make over to the faid Nicholas, the liberties, privileges, and immunities contracted for, in as full a manner as if they never had belonged to me. V. The faid John Bull obliges himself, his heirs and affigus, not to fell one rag of broad or coarfe cloth to any gentleman within the neighbourhood of the faid Nicholas, except in fuch quantities, and at fuch rates, as the faid Nicholas fhall think fit. Signed and fealed, JOHN BULL, The reading of this paper put Mrs Bull in fuch a paffion, that the fell downright into a fit, and they were forced to give her a good quantity of the fpirit of hartfhorn before fhe recovered. D. Dieg. Why in fuch a paffion, coufin? confidering your circunftances at that time, I do not think this fuch an unreasonable contract. You fee Frog, for all this, is religiously true to his bargain; he fcorns to hearken to any compofition without your privacy. I Mrs Bull. You know the contrary *. Read that letter. [Reads the fuperfcription.] For Lewis Baboon, master of the noble science of defence. SIR, UNDERSTAND, that you are, at this time, treat. ing with my friend John Bull, about restoring the Lord Strutt's cufton, and befides allowing him certain privileges of parks and fish-ponds; I wonder how you, that are a man that knows the world, can talk with that fimple fellow. He has been my bubble these twenty years, and, to my certain knowledge, understands no more of his own affairs than a child in fwadling cloaths. I know * In the mean time the Dutch were secretly negotiating with France. he |