he has got a fort of a pragmatical filly jade of a wife, that pretends to take him out of my hands: but you and the both will find yourselves mistaken; I will find thofe that fhall manage her; and for him, he dares as well be hanged as make one step in his affairs without my confent. If you will give me what you promised him, I will make all things eafy, and ftop the deeds of ejectment against Lord Strutt if you will not, take what follows: I fhall have a good action against you for pretending to rob me of my bubble. Take this warning from

Your loving friend,

NIC. FROG.

I am told, coufin Diego, you are one of those that have undertaken to manage me, and that you have said you will carry a green bag yourself, rather than we shall make an end of our law-fuit: I will teach them and you too to manage.

D. Diego. For God's fake, Madam, why fo choleric? I fay this letter is fome forgery; it never entered into the head of that honeft man, Nic. Frog, to do any fuch thing.

Mrs Bull. I cannot abide you: you have been railing thefe twenty years at Esquire South, Frog, and Hocus, calling them rogues and pick-pockets, and now they are turned the honefteft fellows in the world. What is the meaning of all this?

D. Diego. Pray tell me how came you to employ this Sir Roger in your affairs, and not think of your old friend Diego.

Mrs Bull. So, fo, there it pinches. To tell you truth, I have employed Sir Roger in feveral weighty af fairs, and have found him trufty and honeft, and the poor man always fcorned to take a farthing of me. I have abundance that profefs great zeal, but they are damnable greedy of the pence. My husband and I are now in fuch circumftances, that we must be ferved upon cheaper terms than we have been.

D. Diego. Well, coufin, I find I can do no good with you; I am forry that you will ruin yourself by trusting this Sir Roger.

CHAP.

CHA P. XVI.

How the guardians of the deceafed Mrs Bull's three daughters came to John, and what advice they gave him; wherein are briefly treated, the characters of the three daughters: alfo John Bull's answer to the three guardians.

I

Told you in a former chapter, that Mrs Bull, before the departed this life, had bleffed John with three daughters. I need not here repeat their names, neither would I willingly ufe any fcandalous reflections upon young ladies, whofe reputations ought to be very tenderly handled; but the characters of these were fo well known in the neighbourhood, that it is doing them no injury to make a fhort defcription of them.

The eldest was a termagant, imperious, prodigal, lewd, profligate wench, as ever breathed: the used to rantipole about the houfe, pinch the children, kick the fervants, and torture the cats and the dogs; he would rob her father's strong box, for money to give the young fellows that he was fond of: fhe had a noble air, and fomething great in her mein, but such a noisome infectious breath, as threw all the fervants that dreffed her, into-consumptions; if the fmelt to the freshest nose-gay, it would fhrivel and wither as it had been blighted: the ufed to come home in her cups, and break the china and the looking-glaffes: and was of fuch an irregular temper, and fo intirely given up to her paflion, that you might argue as well with the north wind, as with her Lady ship: fo expensive, that the income of three dukedoms was not enough to fupply her extravagance. Hocus loved her beft, believing her to be his own, got upon the body of Mrs Bull.

The second daughter ‡, born a year after her fifter, was a peevish, froward, ill conditioned creature as ever was, ugly as the devil, lean, haggard, pale, with fau

* The debates in parliament were however still continued.

+ Polemia, war.

VOL. V.

Difcordia, faction.

cer eyes, a fharp nofe, and hunch-backed: but active, fprightly, and diligent about her affairs. Her ill complexion was occafioned by her bad diet, which was coffee, morning, noon, and night: fhe never refted quietly a-bed; but used to disturb the whole family with fhrieking out in her dreams, and plague them next day with interpreting them, for fhe took then all for golpel: fhe would cry out murder, and disturb the whole neighbourhood; and when John came running down stairs to enquire what the matter was; nothing, forfooth, only her maid had stuck a pin wrong in her gown: fhe turned away one fervant for putting too much oil in her fallad, and another for putting too little falt in her water-gruel; but fuch, as by flattery had procured her efteem, The would indulge in the greatest crime. Her father had two coachmen; when one was in the coach-box, if the coach fwung but the least to one fide, the used to fhriek so loud, that all the street concluded the was overturned; but though the other was eternally drunk, and had overturned the whole family, fhe was very angry with her father for turning him away. Then the used to carry tales and ftories from one to another, till the had fet the whole neighbourhood together by the ears; and this was the only diverfion fhe took pleasure in. She never went abroad, but he brought home fuch a bundle of monftrous lies, as would have amazed any mortal but fuch as knew her of a whale that had swallowed a fleet of fhips; of the lions being let out of the Tower to destroy the Pro teftant religion; of the Pope's being feen in a brandyfhop at Wapping; and of a prodigious ftrong man, that; was going to fhrove down the cupola of St Paul's; of three millions of five pound pieces, that Elquire South had found under an old wall; of blazing ftars, flying dragons, and abundance of such stuff. All the fervants in the family made high court to her, for fhe domineered there, and turned out and in whom she pleased; only there was an old grudge between her and Sir Roger, whom fhe mortally hated, and used to hire fellows to squirt kennel water upon him, as he paffed along the ftrees; fo that he was forced conftantly to wear a furtout of oil. ed cloth, by which means he came home pretty clean, except where the furtout was a little fcanty.

As

As for the third *, fhe was a thief, and a common mercenary prostitute, and that without any follicitation from nature, for the owned the had no enjoyment. She had no refpe of perfons, a prince or a porter was all one, according as they paid; yea, fhe would leave the fineft gentleman in the world to go to an ugly pocky fellow for fixpence more. In the practice of her profeffion The had amaffed vast magazines of all forts of things; the had above five hundred fuits of fine cloaths, and yet went abroad like a cynder- wench: fhe robbed and starved all the fervants, fo that no-body could live near her,

So much for John's three daughters, which you will fay were rarities to be fond of: yet nature will fhew itfelf; no body could blame their relations for taking care of them and therefore it was that Hocus, with two other of the guardians, thought it their duty to take care of the intereft of the three girls, and give John their best advice before he compounded the law fuit.

Hocus. What makes you fo fhy of late, my good friend? There is no-body loves you better than I, nor has taken more pains in your affairs: as I hope to be fa ved I would do any thing to ferve you; I would crawl upon all fours to ferve you; I have spent my health and paternal eftate in your fervice. I have, indeed, a finall pittance left, with which I might retire, and with as good a confcience as any man; but the thoughts of this difgrace. ful compofition fo touches me to the quick, that I cannot fleep after I had brought the cause to the last stroke, that one verdict more had quite ruined old Lewis, and Lord Strutt, and put you in the quiet poffeffion of every thing; then to compound! I cannot bear it. This caufe was my favourite, I had fet my heart upon it; it is like an only child; I cannot endure it should mifcarry for God's fake confider only to what a dismal condition old Lewis is brought. He is at an end of all his cafh; his attorneys have hardly one trick left: they are at an end of all their chicane; besides, he has both his law and his daily bread now upon truft. Hold out only one term longer, and I will warrant you, before the next we fhall have him in the fleet. I will bring him to the pillory;

* Ufuria, ufury.

S 2

his

his ears fhall pay for his perjuries. For the love of God do not compound: let me be damned if you have a friend in the world, that loves you better than L: there is nobody can fay I am covetous, or that I have any intereft to pursue, but yours.

િ

2d Guardian. There is nothing fo plain, as that this Lewis has a defign to ruin all his neighbouring tradef men; and at this time he has fuch a prodigious income, by his trade of all kinds, that if there is not some stop put to his exorbitant riches, he will monopolize every thing no-body will be able to fell a yard of drapery or mercery ware but himself. I then hold it advifeable, that you continue the law-fuit, and burft him at once. My concern for the three poor motherless children obliges me to give you this advice; for their eftates, poor girls! depend upon the fuccefs of this caufe.

3d Guardian. I own this writ of ejectment has cost dear; but then confider it is a jewel well worth the purchafing at the price of all you have. None but Mr Bull's declared enemies can fay, he has any other fecurity for his cloathing trade, but the ejectment of Lord Strutt. The only queftion then that remains to be decided, is, who fhall ftand the expences of the fuit? To which the answer is as plain; who but he that is to have the advantage of the fentence? When Equire South has got poffeffion of his title and honour, is not John Bull to be his clothier? Who then, but John, ought to put him in poffeffion? Afk but any indifferent gentleman, who ought to bear his charges at law and he will readi ly anfwer, his tradefmen. I do therefore affirm, and I will go to death with it, that, being his clothier, you ought to put him in quiet poffeffion of his eftate, and, with the fane generous fpirit you have begun it, compleat || the good work. If you perfift in the bad measures you are now in, what must become of the three poor orphans? My heart bleeds for the poor girls.

John Bull. You are all very eloquent perfons; bút give me leave to tell you, you exprefs a great deal more concern for the three girls than for me; I think my intereft ought to be confidered in the first place. As for you, Hocus, I cannot but fay you have managed my law-fuit with great addrefs, and much to my honour;

and