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cliff. Dr. Garth*; “ This case seems to me to be plain. « ly hysterical ; the old woman-is whimsical; it isa. a common thing for your old women to be so ; I'll pawn
my life, blisters, with the steel diet, will recover her," Others suggested strong purging and letting of blood, because she was plethoric. Some weot so far as to say the old woman was mad, and nothing would be better than a little corporal correction. Ratcliff, “ Gentlemen, you « are mistaken in this case ; it is plainly an acute die “ stemper, and she cannot hold out three days, unless " she is supported with strong cordials.” I came into the room with a good deal of concern, and asked them what they thought of my mother?" Io no manner of danger, « I avow to Gad, quoth Garth, the old woman is hyste"- rical, fanciful, Sir, I avow to Gad." “ I tell you, . o Sir, says Ratcliff, she cannot live three days to an end, “ unless there is fome very effectual course taken with: « her ; Nie has a malignant fever.” Theu fool, pups py, and blockbead, were the best words they gave. I could hardly restrain them from throwing the ink-bottles at one another's heads,
I forgot to tell you, that one : party of the physicians defired, I would take my fifter Peg into the house to nurse her, but the old gentlewoman. would not hear of that. At last one physician asked, if the Lady had ever been used to take laudanum ? Her maid antwered, not that the knew ; but indeed there was a High German livery-inan of bers, one Yan Ptichirnfook er t, that gave her a sort of quack powder. The phy. fician desired to see it: “ Nay, lays he, there is opium 6 in this, I am sure.”
Mrs. Bull. I hope you examined a little into this mat.
5. Bull. I did indeed, and disccvered a great mystery of iniquity. The witnesses made oath, that they had heard 'fome of the livery-men I 'frequently railing at their mistress. “ They said, she was a troublesome fiddle“ faddle old woman, and so ceremonious, that there was
* Garth, the low church party: Ratcliff, high church party.
+ Yan Ptschirnfooker, a bishop at that time, a great dealer in : politics and playe.
no bearing of her. They were so plagued with bowing and cringing as they went in and out of the room, that their backs-acked. She used to scold at one for his dirty shoes, at another for his greafy hair, and not
combing his head : that she was fo passionate and fiery: “ in her temper; that there was no living with her; The "wanted something to sweeten her blood :- that they ne
ver had a quiet night's rest, for getting up in the morn. " ing to early facraments ; they wished they could find “ some way or another to keep the old woman quiet in si lie: bed." Such discourses were often vverheard a mong the livery men, while the laid Yan Ptschirnlooker had undertook this matter. A inaid made affidavit, * That she had seen the said Yan Ptschirnlooker, one of " the livery-men, frequently making up of medicines, " and administring them to all the neighbours ; that she “ saw him one morning make up the powder, which her " mistress took ; that she had the curiosity to ask hiin, " whence he had the ingredieuts! They come, says he, " froin several parts of de world; dis I have from Ge. " neva, dat from Rome, this white powder from · Ain“ sterdam, and the red from Edinburgh ; but the chief " ingredient of all comes from Turkey.” It was like. wise proved, that the said Yan Ptschirnfooker had been frequently seen at the Rose with Jack, who was knowo: to bear.an inveterate spite to his miltress: that he brought a . certain powder to his mistress, which the examinant believes to be the same, and spoke the following words : “ Ma. " dam, here is graod secret van de world, my
sweeten« ing powder, it does temperate de humour, despel the u windt, and cure de vapour, it lulleth and quietech. «. the animal spirits, procuring rest and pleasant dreams :: " it is de infallible receipt for de scurvy, all beats in “ de bloodt, and breaking out upon de skin : it is de « true blood- Itancher, stopping all Auxes of de bloodt: « if you do take dis, you will never ail any ding : it « it will cure you of all diseases :' and abundance more to this purpose, which the examinant does not remember.
JOHN BULL was interrupted in his story by a porter, that brought him a letter from Nicholas Frog, which is as follows.
[John Bull reads.]
of thy old friend Nicholas ? Hast thou for got how some years ago he took thee out of the ipung
ing house t?" '[It is true, 12y friend Nic. did so, and I thank him ; but he made me pay a swinging reckoning.] “ Thou beginneft now to repent thy bargain, that thou 6 wast fo fond of; and, if thou durft, would fortwear thy
own hand and fea). Thou fay'st, that thou hast pur• “ chased me too great an estate already ; when, by fame time, thou knowelt I have only a mortgage : as it is true I have possession, and the tenants own me “. for master ; but has not Efquire South the equity of “ redemption ?" [No doubt, and will redeem it very Specdily ; poor Nic. His only poffeffion, eleven points of the law.!). “. As for the turnpikes I, I have set up, they are “ for other people, not for my friend John; I have oro 5 dered my servant constantly to attend, to let thy car“ riages through without paying any thing; only I hope " thou wilt not come too beavy laden to spoil my ways. " Certainly I have just cause of offence againt thee, my “ friend, for fuppofing it poffible that thou and I should
ever quarrel: what hound's foot is it that puts thefe “ whims in thy head? Ten thousand laft of devils haut
me, if I don't love thee as I love my life," [No queftion; as the devil loves holy water ! :] “ Does not thy own hand “c. and scal oblige thee to purchase for me, till I say it is “ enough ? Are not these words plain ? I lay it is not
Dost thou think thy friend Nicholas Frog * made a child's bargain ? Mark the words of thy coor
* A letter from the S
-1:. † Alluding to the Revolution.
The Dutch prohibition of trade.
or tract, “tract, tota pecunia, with all thy money." [Very well! I have purchased with my own money, my childrens, and my grand-children's money, is not that enough? Well, tora pecunia let it be, for, at present I have none at all: he would not have me purchase with other people's money, sure: Jince tota pecunia is the bargain, I think it is plain, no more money, 110 more purchase ]
" And whatever the world may fay, Nicholas Frog is but a poor man in
comparison of the rich, the opulent John Bull, great “clothier of the worid. I have had many losses, fix of
my best sheep were drowned, and the water has come "into my cellar, and spoiled a pipe of my best brandy: " it would be a more friendly act in thee to carry a brief " about the country to repair the losses of thy poor " friend. Is it not evident to all the world, that I am “ still hemmed in by Lewis Baboon? Is he not just upon
my borders ?” And so he will be, if I purchase a thousand acres more, unless he get somebody betwixt them.] "I tell thee, friend Jolin, thou haft fatterers that pero * fuade thee that thou art a man of business ; do not bea "lieve them : if thou wouldit still leave thy affairs in my “haods, thou shouldst see how handsomely i would deal * by thee.
That ever thou shouldst be dazzled with the "inclianted islands and mountains of gold, that old “Lewis promises thee! 'D'Iwounds! Why dost thou not " lay out thy money to purchale a place at court, of " honest Ifrael? I tell thee, thou must not so much as " think of a compofi:ion.” [Not think of a composition, that's hard indeed; I cannot help thinking of it if I would.] “ Tow.complainest of want of money ; let " thy wife and daughters burn the gold lace of their
petticoats; tell thy fat cattle; retrench but a sirloin "of beef and a peck-loaf in a week from thy gorman.
dizing guts.” [Retrench my beef, a dog ? retrench my beef! then it is plain the rascal has an ill design up on me, he would starze me.] “Mortgage thy manor of " Bullock's-batoh, or pawn thy crop for ten years." (A rogne! part with niy country feut, my patrimony, all that I have left in the world: I'll see him hanged firf.]
Why haft ihou changed thy attoi ney? Cau any man
manage thy cause better for thee? [Very pleasant! because a man has a good attorney, he muft never make
an end of his law.fuit.] “ Ah John! John! I wish thou " knewest thy owo mind ; thou art as fickle as the wind. “ I tell thee, thou hadit better let this composition alone, it or leave it to thy
Of some extraordinary things *, that passed at the Salita.
tion tavern, in the conference between Bull, Frog Esquire South, and Lewis Baboon.
ROG had given his word, that he would meet the of this agreement. Though he durft not directly break bis appointment, he made many a shuffling excuse; one time he pretended to be seized with the gout in his right knee; then he got a great cold, that had ftruck him deaf of one ear; afterwards two of his coach horses fell sick, and he durft not go by water for fear of catching an ague. John would take no excuse, but hurried him away. i. Come Nic. says he, let's go, and bear at least what “ this old fellow has to propose! I hope there's no hurt * in that." “ Be it fo, quoth Nic, but if. I catch aby “ harm, woe be to you; my wife and children will curse
you as long as they live.” When they were come to the Salutation, John concluded al was fure then, and that he should be troubled no more with law affairs ; he thought every body as plain and sincere as he " Well, neighbours, quoth he, let's now make an end 06 of all matters, and live peaceably together for the 6 time to come ; if every body is as well inclined as i,
we shall quickly come to the upshot of our affair."
* The treaty of Utrecht : the difficulty to get them to meet. When met, the Dutch would not speak their sentiments, por The French deliver in their proposals. The House of Austria Lalked very high.