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“ it by way of syllogism, enthymem, dilemma, or foria
Join now began to be diverted with their extravagance.
7. Bull. Let's have a forites by all means; though they are all new to me.
Friend. It is evident to all who are versed in history, that there were two hifters that played the whore two thousand years ago: therefore it plainly follows, that it is not lawful for John Bull to have any manner of intercourse with Lewis Baboon: if it is not lawful for John Bull to have any manner of intercourse (correspondence, if you will, that is much the same thing), then a fortiori, it is much more unlawful for the said John to make over his wife and children to the said Lewis : if his wife and chil. dren are not to be made over, he is not to wear a dagger and ratsbane in his pockets : if he wears a dagger and ratsbane, it must be to do mischief to himself, or fome. body else : if he intends to do mischief, he ought to be under guardians, and there is none fo fit as myself, and some other worthy persons, who have a commission for that purpose from Nic. Frog, the executor of his will and testament.
7. Bull. And this is your forites, you say, With that he fnatched a good tough oaken cudgel, and began to brandith it; then happy was the man that was firft at the door : crouding to get out, they tumbled down stairs; and it is credibly reported, some of them dropped very valuable things in the hurry, which were picked up by cthers of the family.
“ That any of these rogues, quoth John, should ima“gine, I am not as much concerned as they about ha
ving my affairs in a fettled condition, or that I would
wrong my heir for I know not what! Well, Nic. I “ really cannot but applaude thy diligence; I must own * this is really a pretty sort of a trick; but it ihan's do * thy business for all that.”
СНАР. CH A P. XVIII.
How Lecuis Baboon came to visit John Ball, and vhat
pafed between them *.
I THINK it is but ingenuous to acquaint the reader, that
this chapter was not wrote by Sir Humphrey himself, but by another very able pen of the university of Grubstreet.
OHN had (by fome good instructions given him by
Sir Roger) got the better of his choltric temper, and wrought himself up to a great steadiness of mind to pursue his own interest through all impediments that were thrown in the way: he began to leave off some of his old acquaintance, his roaring and bullying about the streets ; he put on a serious air, knit his brows, and, for the time, had made a very considerable progress in politics, confidering that he had been kept a Itranger to his own affairs. However, he could not help discovering some remains of his nature, when he happened to meet with a foot-ball,, or a match at cricket; for which Sir Roger was fure to take him to talk. John was walking about his room,, with folded arms, and a inost thoughtful countenance : his servant brought him word, that one Lewis Baboon. below wanted to lpeak with him. John had got an im. pression, that Lewis was so deadly cunning a ma!, that, he was afraid to venture himself alone with him : at last he took heart of
“ Let him come up, quot!) be, “it is but sticking to my point, and he can never over" reach me.”
Lewis Baboon. Monsieur Bull, I will frankly acknowledge, that my behaviour to my neighbours has been fome:vhat uncivil, and I believe you will readily grant me, that I have met with ufage accordingly. I was fond! of back-sword and cudgel-play from my youth, and now, I bear in my body many a black and blue galli and fear, God knows. I had as good a warehouse, and as fair pora
* Private negotiations about Dunkirk.
fefions, * Dankirk,
fefiens, as any of my neighbours, though I say it; but a contentious temper, flattering servants, and unfortunate fars, have brought me into circumstances that are not unknown to you. These my niisfortunes are heightened by domestic calamities. That I need not relate. a poor battered old fellow, and I would willingly end $22;days is peue: but, alas ! I see but small hopes of that, ter every ikw circumftance affords an argument to my enemies to pursue their revenge ; formerly, I was to be banged, because I was too strong, and now because I am too weak to refiit; I am to be brought down when tco rich, and opprested when too poor. Nic. Frog has used me like a scoundrel; you are a gentleman, and I freely put myself in your hands to dispose of me as you think fit.
7. Bull. Lock you, Master Baboon, as to your usage of your neighbours, you had beft not dwell'too much upon that chapter; let it sufice at present, that you have been met with: you have been rolling a great stone up hill all your life, and at last it has come tumbling down till it is like to crush you to pieces: plain-dealing is beft. If you have any particolar mark, Mr Baboon, whereby one may know when you fib, and when you speak truth, you had best tell it me, that one may proceed accordingHy; butance at prefent I know of none fuch, it is better that
you hould trust me, than that I fhould trust you. L. Babeon. I know of no particular mark of veracity amongst us tradesmen, but interest; and it is manifestly riine not to deceive you at this time; you may safely trust me, I can assure you,
7. Bull. The trust I give is in short this; I muft have something in hand, before I make the bargain, and the reit before it is concluded.
L. Baboon. To shew you I deal fairly, name your fomething.
7. Bull. I need not tell thee, old boy; thou canst guess.
L. Baboon. Eccleldown-caitle *, I'll warrant you, becanfe it has been formerly in your family! Say no more, you shall have it.
7. Bull. I Mail have it to m’own self?
L. Baboon. To thy n'own self.
7. Bull. Every wall, gate, room, and inch of Ecclefdown-caftle, you say !
L. Baboon. Just so.
7. Bull. Every single stone of Ecclefdown-castle, to m'own self, speedily!
L. Baboon. When you please; what needs more: words?:
7. Bull. But tell me, old boy, haft th laid aside all thy equivocals and mentals in this case ?
L. Baboon. There's nothing like matter of fact; see-. ing is believing
7. Bull. Now thou talkeft to the purpose; let us shake hands, old boy. Let me ask thee one question more ;. what haft thou to do to meddle with the affairs of my family? to dispose of my etate, old boy?
L. Baboon. Just as much as you have to do with the : affairs of Lord Strutt.
J. Bull. Ay, but my trade, my very being was con rned in that.
L. Baboon. And my intereft was concerned in the o-ther : but let us both drop our pretences ;. for I believe it is a moot-point; whether I am more likely to make a Master Bull, or you a Lord Strutt.
J. Bull; Agreed, old boy; but then I must have fecurity, that I shail carry my broad-cloth to market, old boy..
L. Baboon. That you shall : Ecclesdown-castle! Ecclesdown ! remember that: why wouldst thou not take it, when it was offered thee some years ago?
7. Bull. I would not take it, because they told me thou wouldft not give it me.
L. Baboon. How could Monsieur Bull be so grossly abused by downright nonsense ? they that advised you to refuse, . must have believed I intended to give, : elle why would they not make the experiment? but I can tell you more of that matter, than perhaps you know at present.
5. Bull. But what fayelt thou as to the Esquire, Nic. Frog, and the rest of the tradesmen? I must take care of: them.
L. Baboon. Thou hast but small obligations to Nic. to my certain knowledge: he has not used me like agen-tieman.
7. Bull. Nic. indeed is not very nice in your punciiIcs of ceremony; he is clownish, as a man may say: belching and calling of names have been allowed him time cut of mind, by prescription : but however, we are engaged in one common cause, and I must look after him.
L. Baboon. All matters that relate to him, and the rest of the plaintiffs in this law-fuit, I will refer to your jutice.
CH A P. XIX.. Tic. Frog's letter to John Bull; wherein he endeavours
to vindicate all his conduct, zuith relation to John Bull and the law-suit..
TIC. perceived now that his cully had eloped, that
John intended henceforth to deal without a broker; but he was resolved to leave no stone unturned to recover his bubble : amongit other artifices he wrote a anost obliging letter, which he sent him printed in a fair Character..
DEAR FRIEND WHE VHEN I considered the late ill usage I have met
with from you, I was reflecting what it was that could prowke you to it; but upon a narrow inspection into my conduct, I can find nothing to reproach nyfelf. with, but too fartial a concern for your interett. You no sooner fét this composition afoot, but I was ready to comply, and prevented your
very withes; and the affair might have been-ended be“.fore now, had it not been for the greater concerns of
Esquire South, and the other poor creatures imbarked " in the same com non cauf, whefa fafety touches me
to the quick. You seemed a little jealous, that I had deaic unfairly, with you
inoney-matters, peared by your own accounts, that thers was fome
thing due to me upon the balance. Having nothing to “ aufiver to fo plain a demondration, you began to cen
till it ap
plain, as if I had been fasiliar with your reputation; when it is well known, not onl; I, but. meanzit
* Substance of the States letter.