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“ from being a sharper in thy youth? What occasion “ hast thou to give up Ecclesdown-castle to John Bull ? “ his friendship is not worth a rush ; give it me, and I'll “ make it worth thy while. If thou dislikest that pro“ position, keep it thyself, I'd rather thou should have 6 it than he. If thou hearkenest not to my advice, take “ what follows; Esquire South and I will
go “ our law-suit in spite of John Bull's teeth.”
L. Baboor. Monsieur Bull has used me like a gentleman, and I am resolved to make good my promise, and truft him for the consequences.
Nic. Frog. Then I tell thee thou art an old doting fool---With that, Nic. bounced up with a spring equal to that of one of your nimbleft tumblers or rope-dancers, and fell foul upon John Bull, to snatch the cudgel be bad in his hand *, that he might thwack Lewis with it: Joha held it fast, so that there was no wrenching it from him. At last 'Squire South buckled too, to assist his friend Nic: John haled on one side, and they two on the other; sometimes they were like to pull John over; then it went all of a sudden again on John's fide; so they went feefawing up and down, from one end of the room to the other. Down tumbled the tables, bottles, glasses, and tobacco-pipes: the wine and the tobacco were all spilt about the room, and the little fellows were almost trod under foot, till more of the tradesmen joining with Nic and the 'Squire, John was hardly able to pull against them all, yet would he never quit hold of his trusty cudgel: which by the contrary force of two so great powers broke short in his hands t. Nic. seized the longer end, and with it began to baftinado old Lewis, who had flunk into a corner, waiting the event of this squabble. Nic. came up to him with an insolent menacing air, so that the old fellow was forced to skuttle out of the room, and retire behind a dung-cart. He called to Nic. “ Thou in“ folent jackanapes ! time was when thou durft not have * used me so, thou now takeft me unprovided, but, old * and infirm as I am, I fhall find a weapon by and by Ho to chastise thy impudence.”
* The army.
fThe separation of the army.
When John Bull had recovered his breath, le pegan to parley with Nic. “ I'riend Nic. I am glad to find the “ fo ftrong after thy great complaints : really thy moti
ons, Nic. are pretty vigorous for a coníumptive man. “ As for thy worldly affairs, Nic. if it can do thee any “ service, I freely make over to thee this profitable law“ suit, and I desire all these gentlemen to bear witness to “ this my act and deed. Yours be all the gain, as mine “ has been the charges; I have brought it to bear finely: “ however, all I have laid out upon it goes
for nothing, o thou shalt have it with all its appurtenances, I ask no
thing but leave to home.”
Nic. Frog. The counfel are fee'd, and all things prepared for a trial, thou ihalt be forced to stand the iffue: it shall be pleaded in thy name as well as mine: go home if thou canst, the gates are thut, the turnpikes locked *, and the roads barricadoed.
J. Bull. Even these very ways, Nic. that thou toldest me, were as open to me as thyself: if I can't pass with my own equipage, what can I expect for my goods and waggons ? I am denied passage through those very grounds that I have purchased with my own money; however, I am glad I have inade the experiment, it inay serve me in some stead.
John Bull was so overjoyed that he was going to take poíeffion of Ecclefdown, that nothing could vex him. “ Nic, quoth he, I am just a-going to leave thee, os caít a kind look upon me at parting.
Nic. looked four and grum, and would not open his mouth.
J. Bull. “ I wish thee all the success that thy heart
can desire, and that these honest gentlemen of the long s robe may have their belly full of law."
Nic. could stand it no longer, but flung out of the room with disdain, and beckoned the lawyers to follow him.
J. Bull.“ Bay, B'uy, Nic. not one pcor smile at “ parting; won't you make your day day, Nic. b’uy “ Nic?" With that John marched out of the common road cross the country to take possession of Ecclesdown.
* Difficulty of the march of part of the army to Dunkirk.
CI A P. XXII.
Of the great joy that John exprefed tulen be get til
fion of Ecclc/don
Hen John tad get into his castle, he seemed like
Ulyfies upon his plank after he liad becn weil scused in salt-watcr; who, as llomer says, was as glad is a judge going to fit down to dinner, after hearing a long cause upon the bench. I dare say John Bull's joy was equal to that of either of the two; he kipped from room to room ; ran up stairs and down stairs, from the kitchen to the garrets, and from the garrets to the kitchen; he peeped into every cranny; fometimes he admired the beauty of the architecture, and the vast folidity of the mason's work; at other times he commended the symmetry and proportion of the rooms. He walked about the gardens : he bathed himself in the canal, swimming, diving, and beating the liquid element, like a milk-white swan. The hail re ounded with the sprightly violin, and the martial hautboy. The family tript it about and capered, like bail-Jones bounding from a marIli foor. Wine, ale, and Oktober flew about as plentifully as kenncl-ivater : then a frolick took john in the head to call up some of Nic. Frog's pensioners, that had been fo rutinous in his family.
J. Brill. Are you glad to see your master in Ecclefdown-caitle ?
111. Yes, indeed, Sir.
Then they began to damn and fink their souls to the lowest pit of hell, if any person in the world rejoiced more than they did.
5. B:ll. Now, hang me if I don't believe you are a parcel of perjured rascals ; however, take this bumper of October to your master's licalth.
Then John got upon the battlements, and looking over, he called to Nic. Frog :
“ How d’ye do, Nic. ? D'ye see where I am, Nic. ? I “ hope the cause goes on swimmingly, Nic. When
dot thou intend to go to Clay-pool, Nic. ? Wilt thou buy there some high heads of the newest cut for my daughters ? How comeft thou to go with thy arm “ tied up? Has old Lewis given thee a rap over thy
fingers-ends ? Thy weapon was a good one, when I “ wielded it, but the butt-end remains in
hands. “ I am so busy in packing up my goods, that I have no “ time to talk with thce any longer. It would do thy “ heart good to see what waggon-loads I am preparing “ for market. If thou wantelt any good office of mine, “ for all that has happened, I will use thee well, Nic. “ B’uy Nic.”
P ( S T S CRI PT.
T has been disputed amongst the literati of Grub
ftreet, wle her Sir Humphry proceeded any farther into the history of John Bull. By diligent inquiry we have found the titles of some chapters, which appear to be a continuation of it; and are as follow.
Chap. I. Horv John was made angry with the articles of
agreement. How he kicked the parchment through the house, up stairs and down stairs, and put himself in a
great beat thereby. Chap. II, How in his passion he was going to cut off Sir
Roger's head with a cleaver. Of the strange manner of Sir Roger's escaping the blow, by laying his head upon
the dresser. Chap. III. Hozu fome of John's servants attempted to scale
house with rope-ladders; and how many unfortunately dangled
same. Chap. IV. Of the methods by which John endeavoured te
preserve the peace among fi his neighbours: how he kept a pair of itill-yards to weigh them; and by diet, purşing, vomiting, and bleeding, tried to bring them to equal
bulk and strength. Chap. V. Of falje accounts of the weights given in by
Some of the journeymen ; and of the New-market tricks,
that were practised at the still-yards. Chap. VI. How John's new journeymen brought him o
ther-guise accounts of the ftill-yards. Chap. VII. How Sir Swain Northy * was by bleeding, purging, and a steel-diet, brought into a consumption;
and how John' was forced afterwards to give him the gold cordial. Chap. VIII. How Peter Bear † was over-fed, and aftera
wards refused to submit to the course of phyfic. Chap. IX. How John pampered Esquire South with tit
bits, till he grew wanton; how he got drunk with
King of Sweden.
† Czar of Moscovy.