Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

323

A further AcCOUNT of the moft DEPLORABLE CONDITION of Mr EDMUND CURLL, bookfeller.

TH

HE public is already acquainted with the manner of Mr Curll's impoifonment by a faithful, though unpolite hiftorian of Grübftreet. I am but the continuer of his hiftory; yet I hope a due diftinction will be made between an undignified fcribbler of a fheet and half, and the author of a three-penny flitched book, like myself.

"Wit, faith Sir Richard Blackmore, proceeds from "a concurrence of regular and exalted ferments, and an "affluence of animal fpirits rectified and refined to a "degree of purity." On the contrary, when the igneous particles rife with the vital liquor, they produce an abftraction of the rational part of the foul, which we commonly call madness. The verity of this hypothefis is juftified by the fymptoms with which the unfortunate Mr Edmund Curil bookfeller hath been afflicted, ever fince his fwallowing the poifon at the Swan-tavern in Fleet-ftreet. For though the neck of his retort, which carries up the animal fpirits to the head, is of an extraordinary length; yet the faid animal fpirits rife muddy, being contaminated with the inflammable particles of this uncommon poifon.

The fymptoms of his departure from his ufual temper of mind were at firft only speaking civilly to his cuflomers, finging a pig with a new purchafed libel, and refufing two and nine pence for Sir Richard Blackmore's Efays.

As the poor man's frenzy increafed, he began to void his excrements in his bed, read Rochefter's bawdy poems to his wife, gave Oldmixon a flap on the chops, and would have kiffed Mr Pemberton's a by violence.

But at last he came to fuch a pafs, that he would dine upon nothing but copper-plates, took a clyfter for a whipt fyllabub, and made Mr Lintot eat a fuppofitory, for a radish, with bread and butter.

*Blackmore's Effays, vol. 1.

We

We leave it to every tender wife to imagine, how forely all this afflicted poor Mrs Curll: at firft fhe privately put a bill into several churches, defiring the prayers of the congregation for a wretched ftationer diftempered in mind. But when fhe was fadly convinced, that his misfortune was public to all the world, fhe writ the following letter to her good neighbour Mr Lintot.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

A true copy of Mrs Curll's letter to Mr Lintot.

WORTHY MR LINTOT,

You

YOU and all the neighbours know too well the frenzy with which my poor man is vifited. I "never perceived he was out of himself, till that me "lancholy day that he thought he was poifoned in a glafs of fack; upon this he ran a-vomiting all over "the house, nay, in the new-wafhed dining-room. Alas! "this is the greateft adverfity that ever befel my poor man, fince he loft one testicle at school by the bite of "a black boar. Good Lord! if he should die, where "fhould I difpofe of the flock? unless Mr Pemberton "or you would help a diftreffed widow; for God knows, "he never published any books that lasted above a week,

[ocr errors]

fo that if he wanted daily books, we wanted daily bread. "I can write no more, for I hear the rap of Mr Curll's “ivory-headed cane upon the counter. Pray recom"mend me to your pastry-cook, who furnishes you year

ly with tarts in exchange for your paper, for Mr Curll "has difobliged ours, fince his fits came upon him;· "before that, we generally lived upon baked meats. "He is coming in, and I have but juft time to put "Son out of the way for fear of mischief: fo wishing you a merry Eafter, I remain your

[ocr errors]

his

"Moft humble servant,

C. CURLL.

[ocr errors]

"P. S. As to the report of my poor husband's ftealing o' calf, it is really groundless, for he always binds « in sheep."

But

But return we to Mr Curll, who all Wednesday continued outrageously mad. On Thursday he had a lucid interval, that enabled him to fend a general fummons to all his authors. There was but one porter, who could perform this office, to whom he gave the following bill of directions, where to find them. This bill, together with Mrs Curll's original letter, lie at Mr Lintot's shop to be perused by the curious.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Inftructions to a porter bow to find Mr Curll's authors.

A

Ta tallow-chandler's in Petty France, half-way under the blind arch, ask for the hiftorian. "At the Bedstead and Bolster, a mufic-house in Moor"fields, two tranflators in a bed together.

"At the Hercules and Still in Vinegar-yard, a school"mafter with carbuncles on his nose.

"At a blacksmith's fhop in the Friars, a Pindaric wri"ter in red stockings.

"In the Calendar-mill-room at Exeter-change, a "compofer of meditations.

"At the Three Tobacco-pipes in Dog and Bitch yard, "one that has been a parfon, he wears a blue camblet"coat, trimmed with black: my best writer against "revealed religion.

"At Mr Summers a thief-catcher's, in Lewkner's “lane, the man that wrote against the impiety of Mr "Rowe's plays.

[ocr errors]

"At the Farthing pye-house in Totting-fields, the young man who is writing my new paftorals.

"At the Laundreffes, at the Hole in the Wall in Cur"fitors-alley, up three pair of ftairs, the author of my "Church-biftory, if his flux be over You may

"alfo fpeak to the gentleman who lies by him in the "flock-bed, my index-maker.

*

"The Cook's wife in Buckingham-court: bid her "bring along with her the fimiles, that were lent her for "her next new play.

"Call at Budge-row for the gentleman you used to

Mrs Centlivre,

* go

"go to in the cockloft; I have taken away the ladder, "but his landlady has it in keeping.

"I don't much care if you ask at the Mint for the old "beetle-browed critic, and the purblind poet at the Al"ley over-againft St Andrew's Holborn. But this as "you have time."

All these gentlemen appeared at the hour appointed in Mr Curll's dining-room, two excepted; one of whom was the gentleman in the cockloft, his landlady being out of the way, and the gradus ad Parnaffum taken down; the other happened to be too closely watched by the bailiffs.

They no fooner entered the room, but all of them fhewed in their behaviour fome suspicion of each other; fome turning away their heads with an air of contempt; others fquinting with a leer, that fhewed at once fear and indignation, each with a haggard abftracted mien, the lively picture of Scorn, folitude, and short commons. So when a keeper feeds his hungry charge of vultures, panthers, and of Libyan leopards, each eyes his fellow with a fiery glare: high hung, the bloody liver tempts their maw. Or as a housewife ftands before her pales, furrounded by her geefe; they fight, they hifs, they gaggle, beat their wings, and down is scattered as the winter's fnow, for a poor grain of oat, or tare, or barley. Such looks fhot through the room tranfverfe, oblique, direct; fuch was the ftir and din, till Curll thus spoke, (but without rifing from his clofe-ftool.)

"Whores and authors must be paid beforehand to put "them in good humour; therefore here is half a crown apiece for you to drink your own healths, and con"fufion to Mr Addifon, and all other fuccessful writers.

[ocr errors]

"Ah, Gentlemen! what have. I not done? what have "I not fuffered, rather than the world fhould be deprived "of your lucubrations? I have taken involuntary pur

[ocr errors]

ges, I have been vomited, three times have I been "caned, once was I hunted, twice was my head broke "by a grenadier, twice was I toffed in a blanket; I "have had boxes on the ear, flaps on the chops; I have "been frighted, pumped, kicked, flandered, and beflitten. I hope, Gentlemen, you are all convinced,

"that

that this author of Mr Lintot's could mean nothing "elfe but starving you, by poisoning me. It remains "for us to confult the best and fpeedieft methods of re"venge."

He had fcarce done fpeaking, but the hiftorian propofed a history of his life. The Exeter-Exchange gentleman was for penning articles of his faith. Some pretty fmart Pindaric, fays the red-ftocking poet, would effectually do his bufinefs. But the index-maker faid, there was nothing like an index to his Homer.

After feveral debates, they came to the following refolutions.

[ocr errors]

"Refolved, That every member of this fociety, according to his feveral abilities, fhall contribute fome way or other to the defamation of Mr Pope.

66

Refolved, That towards the libelling of the faid "Pope there be a fum employed not exceeding fix pounds fixteen fhillings and nine pence (not including "advertisements).

[ocr errors]

Refolved, That he has on purpose, in feveral paf"fages, perverted the true ancient Heathen fenfe of Ho"mer, for the more effectual propagation of the Popish religion.

"Refolved, That the printing of Homer's battles at "this juncture, has been the occafion of all the disturb"ances of this kingdom.

66

Ordered, That Mr Barnevelt * be invited to be a "member of this fociety, in order to make further dif"coveries.

66

Refolved, That a number of effective errata's be "raifed out of Pope's Homer (not exceeding 1746), and "that every gentleman, who shall fend in one error, for "his encouragement shall have the whole works of this "fociety gratis.

"Refolved, That a fum not exceeding ten fhillings and "fix pence be diftributed among the members of this fo

* The key to the lock, a pamphlet written by Mr Pope, in which The rape of the lock was with great folemnity proved to be a political libel, was published in the name of Efdras Barnevelt, apothecary. Hawkef.

VOL. V.

E e

ciety

« AnteriorContinuar »