Imágenes de páginas


A further Account of the most DEPLORABLE



*HE public is already acquainted with the manner

of Mr Curll's impoisonment by a faithful, though unpolite historian of Grubstreet. I am but the continuer of his history; yet I hope a due distinction will be made between an undignified scribbler of a sheet and half, and the author of a three-penny stitched book, like myself.

“ Wit, faith Sir Richard Blackmore *, proceeds from

a concurrence of regular and exalted ferments, and an “ affluence of animal spirits rectified and refined to a “ degree of purity.” On the contrary, when the igneous particles rise with the vital liquor, they produce an abftraction of the rational part of the soul, which we commonly call madness. The verity of this hypothesis is justified by the symptoms with which the unfortunate Mr Edmund Curli bookseller hath been afflicted, ever since his swallowing the poison at the Swan-tavern in Fleet-street. For though the neck of his retort, which carries up the animal spirits to the head, is of an extraordinary length; yet the faid animal spirits rife muddy, being contaminated with the inflammable particles of this uncommon poison.

The fymptoms of his departure from his usual temper of mind were at first only speaking civilly to his customers, singing a pig with a new purchased libel, and

refusing two and nine pence for Sir Richard Blackmore's Eljays.

As the poor man's frenzy increased, he began to void his excrements in his bed, read Rochester's bawdy poems to his wife, gave Oldmixon a flap on the chops, and would have kissed Mr Pemberton's by violence.

But at last he came to such a pass, that he would dine upon nothing but copper-plates, took a clyfler for a whipt Jyllabub, and made Mr Lintot eat a suppository, for a radish, with bread and butter.

* Blackmore's Essays, vol. 1.


We leave it to every tender wife to imagine, how sorely all this amicted poor Mrs Curll: at first the privately put a bill into several churches, desiring the prayers of the congregation for a wretched ftaticner diftempered in mind. But when Me was sadly convinced, that his misfortune was public to all the world, the writ the following letter to her good neighbour Mr Lintot.

A true copy of Mrs Curll's letter to Mr Listot.

WorteY MR LINTOT, YO TOU and all the neighbours know too well the

frenzy with which my poor man is vifited. I “ never perceived he was out of himself, till that me

lancholy day that he thought he was poisoned in a “ glass of sack; upon this he ran a-vomiting all over “ the house, nay, in the new-washed dining-room. Alas! “ this is the greatest advertity that ever befel my poor

man, since he loit one testicla at school by the bite of “ a black boar. Good Lord! if he should die, where “ should I dispose of the stock ? unless Mr Pemberton

or you would help a distressed widow; for God knows, “ he never publilhed any books that lasted above a week, **s so that if he wanted daily books, we wanted daily bread. " I can write no more, for I hear the rap

of Mr Curll's " ivory-headed care upon the counter. - Pray recom“inend me to your pastry-cook, who furnishes you year“ ly with tarts in exchange for your paper, for Mr Curll " has disobliged ours, fince his fits came upon him; “ before that, we generally lived upon baked meats. “ He is coming in, and I have but just time to put his son out of the way for fear of mischief: so wishing

you a merry Easter, I remain your

“ Most humble servant,


" P.S. As to the report of my poor husband's steal. “ing o' calf, it is really groundless, for he always binds « in Theep.


But return we to Mr Curll, who all Wednesday continued outrageously mad. On Thursday he had a lucid interval, that enabled him to send a general summons to all his authors. There was but one porter, who could perform this office, to whom he gave the following bill of directions, where to find them. This bill, together with Mrs Curll's original letter, lie at Mr Lintot's shop to be perused by the curious.

Instructions to a porter how to find Mr Curll's authors.



Ta tallow-chandler's in Petty France, half-way,

under the blind arch, ask for the historian. At the Bedstead and Bolster, a music-house in Moor“ fields, two translators in a bed together.

“ At the Hercules and Still in Vinegar-yard, a school66 mafter with carbuncles on his nose.

At a blacksmith's shop in the Friars, a Pindaric wri“ ter in red stockings.

“ In the Calendar-mill-room at Exeter-change, a “ composer of meditations.

“ At the Three Tobacco-pipes in Dog and Bitch yard, “ one that has been a parson, he wears a blue camblet

coat, trimmed with black: my best writer against s revealed religion.

- At Mr Summers a thief-catcher's, in Lewkner's "lane, the man that wrote against the impiety of Mr “ Rowe's plays.

At the Farthing pye-house in Totting-fields, the young man who is writing my new pastorals.

“ At the Laundresses, at the Hole in the Wall in Cur“ fitors-alley, up three pair of stairs, the author of my “ Church-history,

- if his flux be over “ also fpeak to the gentleman who lies by him in the 6 flock-bed, my index-maker.

« The Cook's * wife in Buckingham-court: bid her so bring along with her the fimiles, that were lent her for “ her next new play.

-* Call at Budge-row for the gentleman you used to

You may

Mrs Centliyre,


“ go to in the cockleft; I have taken away the ladder, « but his landlady has it in keeping.

“ I don't much care if you ask at the Mint for the old “ beetle-browed critic, and the purblind poet at the Al“ ley over-against St Andrew's Holborn. But this as “ you have time.”

All these gentlemen appeared at the hour appointed in Mr Curll's dining-room, two excepted; one of whom was the gentleman in the cockloft, his landlady being out of the way, and the gradus ad Parnassum taken down; the other happened to be too closely watched by the bailiffs.

They no sooner entered the room, but all of them shewed in their behaviour fome suspicion of each other; fome turning away their heads with an air of contempt; others squinting with a leer, that shewed at once fear and indignation, each with a haggard abstracted mien, the lively picture of Scorn, solitude, and short commons. So when a keeper feeds his hungry charge of vultures, panthers, and of Libyan leopards, each eyes his fellow with a fiery glare: high hung, the bloody liver tempts their maw. Or as a housewife stands before her pales, furrounded by her geefe; they fight, they hiss, they gaggle, beat their wings, and down is scattered as the winter's snow, for a poor grain of oat, or tare, or barley. Such looks shot through the room transverse, oblique, direct; such was the stir and din, till Curll thus spoke, (but without rising from his close-ftool.)

Whores and authors must be paid beforehand to put " them in good humour; therefore here is half a crown “ apiece for you to drink your own healths, and con“ fusion to Mr Addison, and all other successful writers.

" Ah, Gentlemen! what have. I not done? what have “ I not suffered, rather than the world should be deprived “ of your lucubrations? I have taken involuntary pur

ges, I have been vomited, three times have I been “ caned, once was I hunted, twice was my head broke by a grenadier, twice was I tossed in a blanket; I “ have had boxes on the ear, slaps on the chops; I have “ been frighted, pumped, kicked, slandered, and be« Nuitten. I hope, Gentlemen, you are all convinced,

" that

a that this author of Mr Lintot's could mean nothing “else but starving you, by poisoning me. It remains " for us to consult the best and speediest methods of re“ venge."

He had scarce done speaking, but the historian proposed a hiftory of his life. The Exeter-Exchange gentleman was for penning articles of his faith. Some pretty smart Pindaric, fays the red-stocking poet, would effectually do his business. But the index-maker said, there was nothing like an index to his Homer.

After several debates, they came to the following refolutions.

Refolved, That every member of this society, ac“cording to his several abilities, shall contribute some way or other to the defamation of Mr Pope.

Resolved, That towards the libelling of the said Pope there be a sum employed not exceeding fix

pounds fixteen shillings and nine pence (not including u advertisements).

Resolved, That he has on purpose, in several pas{ages, perverted the true ancient Heathen sense of Ho

mer, for the more effectual propagation of the Popish " religion.

Resolved, That the printing of Homer's battles at " this juncture, has been the occasion of all the disturb“ ances of this kingdom.

Ordered, That Mr Barnevelt * be invited to be a " member of this society, in order to make further dif" coveries.

Refolaed, That a number of effective errata's be “ raised out of Pope's Homer (not exceeding 1746), and

that every gentleman, who shall send in one error, for his encouragement shall have the whole works of this “ fociety gratis.

Resolved, That a sum not exceeding ten shillings and “ fix pence be distributed


the members of this so.

The key to the lock, a pamphlet written by Mr Pope, in which The rope of the lock was with great folemnity proved to be a political libel, was published in the name of Esdras Baracvelt, apoihecary. Hawkes. VOL.V.


« ciety

« AnteriorContinuar »