mediately awaked, and could not help wifhing, that the deputy cenfors of my late inftitution were indued with the fame instinct as these parish lions.

4

Ingenuas didiciffe fideliter artes

Emollit mores..

Ovid.

From Saturday, March 3. to Tuesday, March 6. 1710.

From my own apartments in Channel-row, March 5.

T

HOSE inferior duties of life, which the French call Les petites morales, or the smaller morals, are with us diftinguished by the name of good manners or breeding. This I look upon, in the general notion of it, to be a fort of artificial good fenfe, adapted to the meanest capacities, and introduced to make mankind easy in their commerce with each other. Low and little understandings, without fome rules of this kind, would be perpetually wandering into a thousand indecencies and irregularities in behaviour; and in their ordinary conver fation fall into the fame boisterous familiarities, that one obferves amongst them, when a debauch hath quite taken away the ufe of their reafon. In other inftances it is odd to confider, that, for want of common difcretion, the very end of good breeding is wholly perverted, and civility,intended to make us eafy, is employed in laying chains and fetters upon us, in debarring us of our wishes, and in crof fing our most reasonable defires and inclinations. This abufe reigns chiefly in the country, as I found to my vexation, when I was last there, in a vifit I made to a neighbour about two miles from my coufin As foon as I entered the parlour, they put me into the great chair that stood clofe by a huge fire, and kept me there by force until I was

* This Tatler should be hung up in every 'Squire's hall in England. Orrery. VOL. V.

Hh

almost

almoft ftifled. Then a boy came in a great hurry to pull off my boots, which I in vain oppofed, urging that I myft return foon after dinner. In the mean time, the good lady whispered her eldest daughter, and flipped a key into her hand; the girl returned inftantly with a beerglafs full of aqua mirabilis and fyrup of gilly-flowers. I took as much as I had a mind for, but Madam vowed I fhould drink it off; for fhe was fure it would do me good after coming out of the cold air; and I was forced to obey, which abfolutely took away my ftomach. When dinner came in, I had a mind to fit at a distance from the fire; but they told me it was as mnch as my life was worth, and fet me with my back juft against it. Although my appetite was quite gone, I was refolved to force down as much as I could, and defired the leg of a pullet. “In"deed Mr Bickerstaff, fays the Lady, you must eat a "wing to oblige me;" and fo put a couple upon my plate. I was perfecuted at this rate during the whole meal; as often as I called for fmall beer, the mafter tipped the wink, and the fervant brought me a brimmer of October. Some time after dinner I ordered my coufin's man, who came with me, to get ready the horses; but it was refolved I should not stir that night; and when I feemed pretty much bent on going, they ordered the stable-door to be locked, and the children hid my cloak and boots. The next question was, what would I have for supper? I said, I never eat any thing at night; but was at laft, in my own defence, obliged to name the first thing that came into my head. After three hours spent chiefly in apologies for my entertainment, infinuating to me, "That this was the worst time of the year for provi"fions; that they were at a great distance from any mar"ket; that they were afraid I should be ftarved; and that they knew they kept me to my lofs," the Lady went, and left me to her husband; for they took special care I should never be alone: as foon as her back was turned, the little miffes ran backwards and forwards every moment, and constantly, as they came in and went out, made a curtesy directly at me, which, in good manners, I was forced to return with a bow, and your humble fervant, pretty Mifs. Exactly at eight the mother came up, and difcovered by the redness of her face, that sup

per

per was not far off. It was twice as large as the dinner, and my perfecution doubled in proportion. I defired, at my ufual hour, to go to my repofe, and was conducted to my chamber by the gentleman, his lady, and the whole train of children. They importuned me to drink fumething before I went to bed; and, upon my refusing, at laft left a bottle of fingo, as they called it, for fear I fhould awake and be thirity in the night. I was forced in the morning to rife and dress myself in the dark, because they would not fuffer my kinfman's fervant to disturb me at the hour I defired to be called. I was now refolved to break through all measures to get away; and, after, site ting down to a monftrous breakfast of cold beef, mutton, neats tongues, venison pasty, and ftale beer, took leave of the family. But the gentleman would needs fee me part of the way, and carry me a fhort cut through his own ground, which he told me would fave half a mile's riding. This last piece of civility had like to have coft me dear, being once or twice in danger of my neck by leaping over his ditches, and at laft forced to alight in the dirt, when my horfe, having flipped his bridle, ran away, and took us up more than an hour to recover him again.

It is evident, that none of the abfurdities I met with in this vifit proceeded from an ill intention, but from a wrong judgment of complaifance, and a mifapplication in the rules of it. I cannot fo eafily excufe the more refined critics upon behaviour, who having profeffed no other ftudy, are yet infinitely defective in the moft material parts of it. Ned Fashion has been bred all his life a bout court, and understands to a tittle all the punctilios of a drawing-room. He vifits most of the fine women near St James's, and upon every occafion fays the civilest and fofteft things to them of any man breathing. To Mr Ifaac he owes an eafy flide in his bow, and a graceful manner of coming into a room: but in fome other cafes he is very far from being a well-bred perfon. He laughs at men of far fuper or understanding to his own for not being as well dreffed as himself; defpifeth all his acquaintance who are not of quality, and in public places hath on that account often avoided taking notice of fome

A famous dancing master in those days.

among the best speakers of the houfe of Commons. He raileth ftrenuously at both univerfities before the members of either; and is never heard to swear an oath, or break in upon religion and morality, except in the company of divines. On the other hand, a man of right sense hath all the effentials of good breeding, although he may be wanting in the forms of it. Horatio hath spent most of his time at Oxford: he hath a great deal of learning, an agreeable wit, and as much modefty as may ferve to adorn, without concealing his other good qualities. In that re. tired way of living he feemeth to have formed a notion of human nature, as he hath found it defcribed in the writings of the greatest men, not as he is likely to meet with it in the common courfe of life. Hence it is, that he giveth no offence, but converfeth with great deference, candor and humanity. His bow, I must confefs, is fomewhat aukward; but then he hath an extenfive, universal, and unaffected knowledge, which may, perhaps, a little excufe him. He would make no extraordinary figure at a ball; but I can affure the ladies in his behalf, and for their own confolation, that he has writ better verses on the fex than any man now living, and is preparing such a poem for the prefs as will tranfmit their praifes and his own to many generations.

NUMBER CCXXX.*

Thursday, September 28 1710.

From my own apartments, September, 27.

HE following letter hath laid before me many

Tgreat and manifeft evils in the world of letters,

which I had overlooked; but it opens to me a very bu

* The letter to the Lord High Treasurer upon the fame subject with this Tatler, is printed in the fourth of these volumes. It is faid, that the author writ fome other Tatlers, and feveral Spectators, and furnished hints for many more; particularly,

The

fy

The

fy fcene, and it will require no small care and application to amend errors, which are become fo univerfal. affectation of politeness is expofed in this epiftle with a great deal f wit and difcernment; fo that, whatever difcourfes I may fall into hereafter upon the subject the writer treats of, I fhall at prefent lay the matter before the world, without the leaft alteration from the words of my correfpondent.

SIR,

To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Efq:

"There are fom abufes among us of great confe66 quence, the reformation of which is properly your province; although, as far as I have been converfant "in your papers, you have not yet confidered them. "These are, the deplorable ignorance that for fome years "hath reigned among our English writers, the great de"pravity of our taste, and the continual corruption of 16 our ftile. I fay nothing here of those who handle par "ticular sciences, divinity, law, phyfic, and the like; "I mean the traders in hiftory, and politics, and the "Belles Lettres, together with those by whom books 6.6 are not tranflated, but (as the common expreffions

are) done out of French, Latin, or other languages, "and made English. I cannot but obferve to you, "that, until of late years, a Grub-street book was "always bound in fheep-fkin, with suitable print and "6 paper, the price never above a fhilling, and taken "off wholly by common tradesmen or country ped. "lars but now they appear in all fizes and fhapes, and

in all places; they are handed about from lapfuls in "every coffee-houfe to perfons of quality; are fhewn in "Westminster-hall and the Court of Requests; you "may fee them gilt, and in royal-paper, of five or fix "hundred pages, and rated accordingly. I would en" gage to furnish you with a catalogue of English books,

The Tables of fame. The life and adventures of a filling. The account of England by an Indian king, and fome others: but, as we are informed, he would never tell his best friends the particular papers. Dublin edit.