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"published within the compafs of feven years paft, which "at first hand would coft you an hundred pounds, "wherein you fhall not be able to find ten lines toge "ther of common grammar or common fense.

"These two evils, ignorance and want of tafte, have "produced a third, I mean the continual corruption of "our English tongue, which, without fome timely remedy, "will fuffer more by the falfe refinements of twenty years paft, than it hath been improved in the forego"ing hundred. And this is what I defign chiefly to en"large npon, leaving the former evils to your animad❝verfion.

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"But instead of giving you a lift of the late refine"ments crept into our language, Ihere fend you. the co py of a letter I received fome time ago,, from a most accomplished perfon in this way of writing, upon "which I fhall make fome remarks. It is in these terms :

6.6

SIR,

I coud'n't get the things you fent for all about townI tho't to ha' come down myself, and then I'd ha' bro't 'um, but ha'nt don't, and I believe I can't do't, that's pozz-Tom begins to g'imself airs, because he's going with the plenipo's-'Tis faid the French King will bam boozel us agen, which caufes many fpeculations. The Jacks, and others of that kidney, are very uppifh, and alert upon't, as you may fee by their phizz's-Will ha zard has got the hipps, having left to the tune of five hundr'd pound, tho' he understands play very well; nobody better. He has promis't me upon Rep to leave off play; but you know 'tis a weakness he's too apt to give into, tho he hath as much wit as any man, no body more : he has lain incog ever fince-The mob's very quiet with us now.I believe you tho't Ibanter'd you in my laft like a country put. —I shan't leave town this month, &c.

"This letter is in every point an admirable pattern of the prefent polite way of writing; nor is it of less au "thority for being an epiftle: you may gather every

flower of it, with a thousand more of equal sweetness, "from the books, pamphlets, and fingle papers, offer❝ed us every day in the coffee-houses. And these are

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"the beanties introduced to fupply the want of wit, fenfe, humour, and learning, which formerly were "looked upon as qualifications for a writer. If a man "of wit, who died forty years ago, were to rife from the grave on purpose, how would he be able to read this "letter and after he had got through that difficulty,

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how would he be able to underftand it! The first "thing that ftrikes your eye, is the breaks at the end of "almost every fentence; of which I know not the use; "only that it is a refinement, and very frequently prac "tifed.

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Then you will obferve the abbreviations and elifions, by which confonants of most obdurate founds are joined together, without one foftening vowel to intervene and all this only to make one fyllable of two, "directly contrary to the example of the Greeks and "Romans; altogether of the Gothic strain, and of a na"tural tendency towards relapfing into barbarity, which "delights in monofyllables, and uniting of mute confo"nants; as it is obfervable in all the northern languages. "And this is ftill more vifible in the next refinement, "which confifteth in pronouncing the firft fyllable in a "word that hath many, and difmiffing the reft; fuch as phizz, hipps, mobb, pozz, rep, and many more, when we 66 are already overloaded with monofyllables, which are "the difgrace of our language. Thus we cram one fyl"lable, and cut off the reft; as the owl fattened her "mice after he had bit off their legs to prevent them "from running away; and if ours be the fame reason "for maiming of words, it would certainly answer the "end; for I am fure no other nation will defire to borrow them. Some words are hitherto but fairly split, " and therefore only in their way to perfection, as incog. and plenipo but in a fhort time, it is to be hop. ed, they will be further docked to inc. and plen. "This reflection hath made me of late years very impa "tient for a peace, which I believe will fave the lives "of many brave words as well as men. The war hath "introduced abundance of polyfyllables, which will ne

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ver be able to live many more campaigns. Specula«tions, operations, preliminaries, ambajadors, palifa. "does, communications, circumvallations, battalions, as "numerous as they are, if they attack us too frequently

"in our coffee-houses, we fhall certainly put them to "flight, and cut off the rear.

"The third refinement obfervable in the letter I fend " you, confifteth in the choice of certain words invent"ed by fome pretty fellows, fuch as banter, bamboczle, "country-put, and kidney, as it is there applied; fome "of which are now ftruggling for the vogue, and others "are in poffeffion of it. I have done my utmost for "fome years paft to stop the progrels of mob and banter, "but have been plainly borne down by numbers, and "betrayed by those who promised to assist me.

"In the last place, you are to take notice of certain "choice phrafes fcattered through the letter; some of "them tolerable enough, till they were worn to rags "by fervile imitators. You might eafily find them, al "though they were not in a different print, and there"fore I need not disturb them.

"These are the falfe refinements in our stile, which you ought to correct; first, by arguments and fair means; but if those fail, I think you are to make use "of your authority as cenfor, and by an annual index "expurgatorius expunge all words and phrates that are "offenfive to good fenfe, and condemn those barbarous "mutilations of vowels and fyllables, In this laft point, "the ufual pretence is, that they spell as they speak: 66 noble standard for language! to depend upon the "caprice of every coxcomb, who, because words are the "the cloathing of our thoughts, cuts them out and thapes "them as he pleasetb, and changes them oftener than his

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drefs. I believe all reasonable people would be con "tent, that fuch refiners were more fparing of their "words, and liberal in their syllables. On this head I "should be glad you would bestow fome advice upon fe. "veral young readers in our churches, who, coming up "from the university full fraught with admiration of our "town-politeness, will needs correct the ftile of their "prayer-books. In reading the abfolution they are very

careful to fay pardons and abfolves, and in the prayer "for the royal family, it must be endue'um, enrich’um, profper'um, and bring'um; then in their fermons they ufe all their modern terms of art, sham, banter, mob, bubblle, bully, cutting, shuffling, and palming; all 66 which,

"which, and many more of the like ftamp, as I have "heard them often in the pulpit from fome young fo"phifters, fo I have read them in fome of thefe fermons "that have made a great noife of late. The defign, it "feems, is to avoid the dreadful imputation of pedan"try; to fhew us, that they know the town, under"ftand men and manners, and have not been poring 66 upon old unfashionable books in the university.

"I fhould be glad to fee you the inftrument of in"introducing into our ftile, that fimplicity which is the "best and trueft ornament of most things in human life, "which the politer ages always aimed at in their "building and dress (fimplex munditiis), as well as "their productions of wit. It is manifeft, that all

new affected modes of speech, whether borrowed "from the court, the town, or the theatre, are the first

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perifhing parts in any language; and, as I could prove "by many hundred inftances, have been so in ours. "writings of Hooker, who was a country clergyman, ❝and of Parfons the Jefuit, both in the reign of Queen "Elizabeth, are in a ftile that, with very few allow"6 ances, would not offend any prefent reader; much 66 more clear and intelligible, than thofe of Sir H. Wot86 ton, Sir Rob. Naunton, Ofburn, Daniel the hiftorian, "and several others who writ later, but being men of "the court, and affecting the phrases then in fashion, "they are often either not to be understood, or appear "perfectly ridiculous.

"What remedies are to be applied to thefe evils, I "have not room to confider, having, I fear, already "taken up moft of your paper: befides, I think, it is our "office only to represent abuses, and yours to redress ❝them.

I am, with great respect,

SIR,

Yours, &c."

A MEDITATION upon a BROOMSTICK.

According to the ftile and manner of the Honour. able ROBERT BOYLE'S Meditations*.

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Written in the year 1703.

HIS fingle ftick, which you now behold inglori oufly lying in that neglected corner, I once knew in a flourishing state in a foreft: it was full of fap, full of leaves, and full of boughs: but now, in vain does the bufy art of man pretend to vye with nature, by tying that withered bundle of twigs to its faplefs trunk: it is now at best but the reverfe of what it was; a tree turned upfide down, the branches on the earth, and the root in the air it is now handled by every dirty wench, con demned to do her drudgery; and, by a capricious kind of fate, destined to make other things clean, and be nafty itself. At length, worn to the flumps in the fervice of the maids, it is either thrown out of doors, or condemn. ed to the last use of kindling a fire. When I beheld this, I fighed, and faid within myself, SURELY MORTAL MAN IS A BROOMSTICK! Nature fent him into the world ftrong and lufty, in a thriving condition, wearing his own hair on his head, the proper branches of this reasoning vegetable; until the axe of intemperance has lopped off his green boughs, and left him a withered trunk: he then flies to art, and puts on a perriwig; valuing himself u•

* This paper was wrote in derifion of the ftile and manner of Mr Robert Boyle. To what a height must the spirit of farcafm arife in an author, who could prevail upon himself to ridicule fo good a man as Mr Boyle! But the fword of wit, like the fithe of time, cuts down friend and foe, and attacks every object that accidentally lies in its way. However fharp and irrefiftible the edge of it may be, Mr Boyle will always remain invulnerable. Oxxery.

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