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how the current of mighty rivers, nay the
very chanpels of the ocean are changed from what they were in antient days; and can be lo vain to imagine that the microcolite of the human body alone is exempted from tlie face of all things? I question not but planlible conjectures may ie made even as to the time when the blood fili began 10 circulate. Such disputes as thefe frequently perplexed the professor to that degree, that he would now and then in a passion leave him in the iniddle of a lecture, as he did at this time.
There unfortunately happened foon after, an unusual accident, which retarded the prosecution of the studies of Martin, Having purchased the body of a malefactor, lic hired a room for its dissection near the Pelt-fields in St. Giles's, at a little distance from Tyburn-road. Crambe (to whose care this body was committed) carried it thither about twelve a clock at night in a hackney.coecli
, few house-keepers being very willing to let their lodgings to such kind of operators. As he was fotily Italking up stairs in the dark with the dead man in bis arms, his burden had like to have flipped from him, which he (to save from falling) grasped so hard about the belly, that it forced the wind through the anus, with a noise exactly like the crepitus of a living man. Crambe (who could not com. prehend how this part of the animal economy could remain in a dead man) was fo terrified, that he threw down the body, ran up to his master, and had scarce breath to tell him what had happened. Martin with all his philofophy could not prevail upon him to return to his post.com You may say what you please, quoth Crambe, no man a. live ever broke wind more naturaily; nay, he seemed to be inightily relieved by it. The rolling of the corple dowu stairs made such a noise that it awaked the whole house. The maid shrieked, the landlady cried out, thieves : but the landlord, in his shirt as he was, taking a candle in one hand, and a drawn sword in the other, ventured vut of the room. The maid with only a single petticoat ran up stairs, but spurning at the dead body, fell upon it in a fwoon. 'Now the landlord stood still and listened, tlien he looked bebind him, and ventured down in this manner, one step after another, till he came where lay his maid, as dear', upon another corpse unkcown. Tie Vol. V.
OIRS OF Book I. wife ran into the street and cried out, murder! the watch ran in, while Martin and Crambe, hearing all this uproar, were coming down stairs. The watch imagined they were making their escape, seized them immediately, and carried them to a neighbouring Justice ; wbere, upon fearching them, several kinds of knives and dreadful wea. pons were found upon them. The Justice first examined Crambem-\Vhat is your name ? says the Justice. I have acquired, quoth Crambe, no great name as yet; they call nic Crambe, or Crambo, no matter which, as to myself; though it may be fome dispute to posterity.“What is yours and your master's profession?' “ It is our buliness ás to imbrue our hands in blood; we cut off the heads, “ and pull out the hearts of those that never.injured us ;
we rip op big-bellied women, and tear children limb is froin linb." Martin endeavoured to interrupt him; but the Justice being strangely astonished with the frankness of Crambe's confession, ordered him to proceedi; upon which he made the following speech :
“ May it please your Worship, as touching the body « of this man, I can answer each head that my accusers “ alledge against me, to a hair. They have hitherto
talked like nuin-fculls without brains ; but if your 6 Worship will not only give ear, hut regard me with a « favourable eve, I will not be brow-beaten by the fu« percilious looks of my adversaries, who now stand s cheek by jowl by your Worship. I will prove to their « ficcs, that their foul mouths have not opened their lips « without a falsity; though they have showed their teeth
as if they would bite off my nose. Now, Sir, that I
may fairly slip my neck out of the collar, I beg this “ matter may not be slightly skimed over. Though I « have no man here to back ine, I will unborom myself, « since truth is on my fiele, and shall give them their « bellies full, though they think they have me upon the 6 hip. Whereas they say I came into their lodgings, « uith arms, and inurdered this man withont their privi
I declare I had not the least finger in it; and since " I am to stand upon my own legs, nothing of this mat. « ter shall be left till I set it upon a right foot.
In tlie 6c vein I am in, I cannot for my heart's blood and guts ! bear this usage: I shall not f;are my lungs to defend
my good name: I was ever reckoned a good liver i “ and I think I have the bou els of compaslion. I ask “ but justice, and from the crown of my head, to the lole 6 of my foot, I shall ever ackcowludge myself your Wor“ ship’s humble fervant.”
The Justice stared, the landlord and landlady lifted up their eyes, and Martin fretted, while Crambe talked in. this rambling incoherent manner ; till at length Martin begged to be heard. It was with great dithculty that the Justice was convinced; till they fent for the finisher of human law's, of wlion the corple had been purchalid; who looking near llie left car, koc w liis own work, alid gave oath accordingly.
No fooner was Miriin got hone, but he fell into a pallion at Crambe. “ What Dæmon, he cried, bath
poffelfed thee, that thou wilt never fortake that impero "linent custom of punning? Neither my counsel nor “my example bave thus misled thee; thou governelt
thyfelf by moft erroneous masims,” « Far from it, “ (answers Crambe), my life is as orderly as my dictio
Jiary, for by my dictionary l'order niy life. I have “ made a kalendar of radical words for all the sealuns, * months, and days of the year: every day l-am under “ the dominion of a certain word; but this day in par• “ ticular I cannot be milked, for I am governed by one “ that rules all sexes, ages, conditious, day all animals, “ rational and irrational. Who is not governed by the “ word led. Our noblemen and drankards are pimp-led, “phy Gicians and pulses tee-lcd, their patients and oranges
pil-led, a new-married man and an ass are bride-led,
an old-married man and a pack-liorle lad-led, cats and “ dice are rat led, swine and sobility are fly-led, a co“quette and a tinder-box are spark-led, a lover and a “ blunderer are grove-led. And that I may not be tedi. “Sous"-"Which thou art (replied Martin,ftanıping with “his foot), which thou art, 1. say, beyond all humanitole "sation. Such an unnatural, unaccountable, uncohereit, "un intelligible, unprofitable"-" There it is now (inter
rupted Crambu); this is our day for uns!” Martin could: bear no longer-lowever, composing his countevance, "Come hither (he cried), there are five pounds, feven. teen shillings, and winc pence: tlou lialt been with me
“ eight monibs, three weeks, two days, and four hours.'' Poor Crambe, upon the receipt of his falary, fell into tears, fung the money upon the ground, and burst forth in these words :-"O Cicero, Cicero! if to pun be a crime, it is a “ crine I have learned from thee! O Bias, Bias! if to “ piu be a crime, bythyexample was l biased."-Where. upon Martin (consideriug that one of the greatelt of o. ritors, and even a fage of Greece had punned) hesitated, relented, and reinstated Craibe iu his service.
T was a most peculiar talent in Martinus, to convert
every trille into a tirious thing, either in the way of life', or in learning. This can no way be better exem plitied, than in the effect which the puns of Crambe had on the miad and studies of Martinus, He conceived, that fo:newhat of a like talent to this of Crambe, of affemhling paralel founds, cither syllables, or words, might conduce to the einendation and correction of antient authors, if applied to their works with the fame diligence and the fame liberty. He refolved to iry first upon Virgil, Ho. race, and Terence ; concluding, that, if the molt correct authors could be fo ferved, with any reputation to the critic, the a:nendinent and alteration of all the rest would eufily follow; where a new, a vatt, may boundless field orgiory wouid be opened to the true and absolute critic.
This speciinen on Virgil he has given iis, in the addeo. da to bis noies on the Dunciad. His Terence and Ho. 1?ce are in every body's hands, under the names of Rich. ard B~-!ey, and Francis Hare. And we have convincing proof, that the late edition of Milton,published in the name of the former of these, was, in truth, the work of no other than our Scriblerus.
CH A P. X.
Of Martinus's uncommon practice of physic, and how he:
applied himself to the diseases of the mind. Bu
UT it is high time to return to the history of the
progress of Martinus. in the studies of physic, and to enumerate some at least of the many di coveries and.. experiments he made therein.
One of the first, was his method of investigating latent distempers, by the fagacious quality of setting dogs and . pointers. The success and adventures that befell birr, when he walked with these aniinals, to linell them out in : the parks and public places about London, are what we would willingly relate ; but that bis own account, toge- . ther with a list of those gentlemen and ladies at whom they made a full set, will be published in time convenient. There will also be added the representation, which, on oce calion of one difteinper which was become almost epidemical, he-thought himlelf ob iged to l'ay before both housis of parliament, intitled, A proposal for a general finx, to exterminate at one blow the p- out of this kingdom.
But being weary of all practice on fætid bodies ; froni a certain niceness of constitution (especially when he at tended Dr Woodward through a twelve months course of vomition), he determined to leave it off entirely, and to apply himself only to diseases of the mind. He attempo ted to fod out specifics for all the passions; and as otlier physicians throw their patients into lweats, vomits, pur. gations, c. he cast them into love, hatred, hope, fear, joy, grief, &c. And indeed the great irregularity of the paflions in the English nation, was the chief motive ihat induced him to apply his whole studies, while he continued ainong us, to the diseases of the mind.
To this purpose he directed, in the first place, his late acquired fill in anatomy. He conlidered virtues and vices as certain habits which proceed from the natural formatica and structure of particular parts of the body. A bird fl es bécause it has wings, a duck swims because it is web-footed: and there can be no question but the coJuncity of the pounces and beaks of the hawks, as well as