I agreed to have no salary, but was to receive the product of the four quarterly collections, and what the Lord might be pleased to send beside.

MR. BLACKSTOCK, to a Friend.

Lakenheath, 1838.

I SINCERELY pity the state of the Lord's dear children O Lord, look upon Zion, the city of our solemnities. I never think of without some feeling of distress, but very often with a sigh. I am grieved to think I have laboured nearly nine years there, and have been so little understood. What a small handful of good fruits. Woe is me, for I am as when they have gathered the summer fruits. I am like the grape-gleanings of the vintage, when there is no cluster to eat; my soul desired the first ripe fruits. I should like to have seen God's blessed heritage there, in a state of unity, brotherly love, peace, and concord: but woe is me, my mother, thou hast borne me a man of strife. I received many deep wounds while I was at but blessed be God, if I know my own heart, they are all forgiven. May the dear Lord forgive them too. So far as I have done wrong to any man, I desire to mourn in secret for it. You shall have my prayers and good wishes. Lord, spare thy people, and give not over thine heritage unto reproach. May God help poor Zion: but why do I despond, for "God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early." May we be still, and know that he is God. Ps. xlvi.

I was a little surprised that you should know where to find me, for though we are ill qualified for journeying, our journies are as long, as frequent, and as quickly performed as the most. I have to say with Paul, "I have no certain dwelling-place, and no continuing city," nor shall have until I reach the threshold of the new Jerusalem, where I hope to stand as a pillar in the temple of my God, to go

no more out.

"From Egypt lately freed

By the Redeemer's grace,

A rough and thorny path we tread,
In hopes to see his face."

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The hope of glory is my soul's sheet anchor, and almost the only comfort I have at present.

I am sorry to inform you that Satan is doing his utmost here to divide God's heritage, and I am doing my utmost in the Lord's strength to keep them together. Indeed the Baptists are dividing, or being divided nearly all over the country. Surely this does not savour well, nor augur well. But I leave it.

My son Henry's general health is a little improved since he came into the country, but the heart-disease is no better; it is said to be out of the reach of the art of medicine. However, I am thankful he is as he is.

I think it necessary to state to you, what will, perhaps, at first especially, be unwelcome news to many of my real friends. A little alteration has been made in my mind on the subject of baptism. For myself, I still prefer immersion to any other mode now in use; but I am cheerfully made willing to allow the free exercise of the right of private judgment (in non-essentials) to my Christian brethren. This has given great offence to many of my old acquaintances, and has brought me much opposition from different quarters; but I esteem it a blessed change, and wish that every godly man in England were of the same mind. (Isa. xxvi. 2.)

ED. BLACKSTOCK.

MR. BLACKSTOCK, to a Friend.

Lakenheath, December 1838. SINCE my last attack of hæmorrhage, I have only attempted to speak once, in a low tone of voice.

Dr. Bayley says that this situation is too bleak for me; for if I only go out for ten minutes, the cold seizes my chest, so that I am almost confined to my dwelling. I certainly do not think I should live long in this place; I there

fore hope the Lord will soon either bear me to a less exposed situation, or favour me to breathe in a milder region, where there is neither sin nor sorrow.

What a changing scene is life, even to those who appear least exposed to changes. What an unspeakable mercy it is that God declares that all things work together for the best to them that love God, who are the called according to his purpose. O how often am I ready to say, All these things are against me, because my Lord's providences do so frequently seem to cross his promises; whilst they certainly and effectually cross my carnal expectations, and show me what a fool I am. O when shall I be passive in his hands, and know no will but his. When shall my dull heart learn to know that the "heavens rule." I often pray that I may be as tempered clay in the hands of the great Potter, who forms his vessel as he pleases. O for a humble mind.

I will tell you what I want: I want a heart to trust my God, even when I cannot trace Him,-in adversity and in prosperity,-when I suffer need, and when I abound, in sickness and in health; when he blights my comforts, or when he raises some pleasant gourd over my head. I want to learn to trust Him, let the wind blow from what point it may, and when it does not blow at all. I want to lie down, and weep, and bless his name when he chastises, and go softly and humbly when the rod is hung up again. I want a heart kept clean from all idolatry; and my cry is, Let no sin have the dominion over me. When my Lord's sweet presence is not enjoyed, I want to lie languishing at the foot of the Cross. I want to be made thankful when he gives, and when he withholds; and with what he gives, and with what he withholds. ... For frames of spirit, I want to prize that frame most which my gracious God likes best. I want to say, "For me to live is Christ," that I might be able to say, "for me to die is gain." Lord, help me to take up and bear a daily cross, and when thou puttest the old man of sin in me upon the rack, and dost rack every limb of him, help me to rejoice. I would to God I could sweetly say, "I am

crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." I want to be able with more inward satisfaction to say who loved me, and gave himself for me. It is indeed a great thing to say. In the ministry now, when life's lamp seems almost burnt out, I am only beginning to begin to learn. I want to love all the real ministers of Christ, as if they were so many Pauls, even though they should seem to have no regard for me. The whole family of God upon earth I should like to love, impartially, deeply, and steadily, -without looking for returns of love, or having any unpleasant feeling when, in the day of my calamity, I see them, like the Priest and the Levite, pass by on the other side.

I want to know how to preach, not with natural eloquence, or natural fire and energy, but with power,—that power which awakens, quickens, convinces, saves, and melts in deep and unfeigned repentance, thorough and lasting. O how little is there of this. In the ministry I have learnt almost nothing, because I have not yet learnt to be nothing, to blow a silver trumpet, or a ram's horn, to be the chairman, or stop a gap.

I want to be able to bear a "Hosanna, hosanna!” or “Crucify him, crucify him!" with calm indifference. I should like a steady burning zeal to preach the doctrine of the cross, and instrumentally and plenteously to diffuse the savour of the name of Christ as the only aim and end of my life, and yet bear to be suspected, thwarted, and withstood. O, to be nothing. O, for a peaceful conscience! O, highly favoured, blessed man of God, Paul, however, didst thou learn that lesson ?" I have learned in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

ED. BLACKSTOCK.

soul. For about four hours successively my mind was wholly absorbed in these meditations. What was to me still more remarkable, the following morning early the same passages awakened me-"He wakeneth me morning by morning," &c., and "The doctrine of baptisms;" when my mind was led afresh, and with increasing light and power, in the same train of thought; and I was obliged to admit to myself that my strictness (in excluding my brethren in the Lord from his table) began to be shaken to the foundation. Yet, from fear of erring, I took no step in the matter but this, I carried the subject more carefully to the throne of grace; and continued to do so for months, without mentioning the subject to any human being.

The

At length it pressed so heavily upon my spirit as to constrain me to set apart two whole days for prayer, and examination of the word of God. The only other aid within my reach in this research was a Concordance, treatise or commentary I had none. desire of my heart was, after prayer, to have the Lord's blessed help and guidance, and with that aid to examine not a few passages, but every text I could find bearing on the subject of baptism in the Old and New Testament; and in doing this, first to take each text separately, and discover, if possible, its own independent bearing, without any previous bias; and next to compare Scripture with Scripture, and observe the result of this comparison. This plan I adhered to: I went through this examination very carefully, and twice over at the least, and the result of it satisfied me that the word of God gave, or permitted to me, liberty to break bread in the Lord's Supper to all godly persons, whether adult Baptists or Pædobaptists.

Having come to this conclusion soberly and deliberately, as I then thought, and endeavouring to keep