Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

May He kindly grant me his guidance, presence, help. and blessing, that I may FINISH MY COURSE with JOY. having fought the good fight.

I remain, my dear friend, ever yours in the best of all bonds,

ED. BLACKSTOCK.

LETTER XXVIII.

Watford, September 19, 1849.

"BEHOLD I go up to Jerusalem, not knowing what shall befall me there." I expect plenty of exercise of mind, (to call it by the softest name,) but I do not think of wavering: God helping us, we must try.

If He designs in a measure to prosper us, He will, in answer to prayer, touch the hearts of a sufficient number to fulfil his designs; but if He shall say, He has no delight in me! it is the Lord, let HIM do what seemeth HIM good!

I could, and can see no other way. The Lord reigneth! clouds and darkness are round about Him, justice and judgment are the habitation of his throne. A good soldier, I know, would not flinch in the day of battle, neither would I, although I can now scarcely handle a musket. I have much more need of prayer, than I have power to

pray.

I have lost several great and good old friends within the last few weeks. Mr. Robinson, of Wolverhampton, who died of typhus fever-a most triumphant death! Mrs. Cotton, of the same place, an old Christian warrior, whose clothes took fire, and she was burnt to death. The cholera rages in that town. The sick and dying are 50 or 60 of a day. Mrs. L, of London, died of it, and was buried on the day we took Salem Chapel. She was a great friend to me, and she often said I should come back to London again!

ED. BLACKSTOCK.

LETTER XXIX.

London, 1850.

SINCE I saw you, I have sometimes Been so ill as to have had thoughts whether I should see you again or not. My nights are so trying, through my afflicted chest, hard breathing, cough, and expectoration! These things often make me a burden to myself.

[ocr errors]

Hitherto I have just kept on at SALEM, "with strength enough and none to spare." We remain much the same as when you were with us, only I hear now and then of the Lord's blessing the word to individuals, which is a great mercy.

Mr. By drives me out now about twice a week, for a few miles; but however I wrap up, the air catches my lungs, gives me cold, and makes me hoarse.

Your last account of yourself I thought to be very correct; in it you better describe my own case than you are aware of. Indeed, I am ashamed of it-so dark, so cold, so lifeless in prayer, that were I to judge of my state by my present feelings, I should conclude I was altogether dead in sins! Whilst some others are running fast towards heaven, I, in my old days, cannot keep a snail's pace for the better country.

I doubt too many of the Church of God are in full proof of our Lord's prophetic words-" Iniquity shall abound, and the love of many shall wax cold." It is not enough to begin well: we want the same power and the same grace to hold us on, and to the end. If I am a specimen of the elect, it is a wonder to me that God should save any!

ED. BLACKSTOCK.

CHAPTER XXXIII.

[1849-1850.]

ILLNESS OF MR. BLACKSTOCK IN NOVEMBER, 1849-SUPPOSED TO BE DYING-NOTES BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS-RECOVERY.

In the autumn of 1849, Mr. Blackstock was suddenly seized with an attack of the disorder to which he had long been subject; and before he had sufficiently recovered from its severity, he rose from his bed and went out to preach at Salem. The exertion caused a relapse, and a protracted illness followed.

During this period of bodily suffering, which was often most acute, he appeared to all around him fast hastening towards eternity.

His family and friends, impressed with this belief, anxiously gathered up what seemed to them his dying testimony. Their notes (made at the moment) show the soul exercises and conflicts of the believer under solemn searchings of heart, and prove the faithfulness and loving-kindness of Jehovah to his tried servant.

His mind throughout that illness was deeply solemnized; everything of a secular nature seemed trying to him. Indeed, such was the holy awe upon his spirit, that the attention of his family and friends to the minute, but needful duties of life, almost excited reproof.

Death and eternity alone appeared present to his mind, and he was submissively, though eagerly wait

ing for the moment when (according to his hope) the Lord should appear, and meet him with "a smile on

Jordan's verge.

A daughter of Mr. Blackstock's writes as follows, on the illness of her father at this period:

I WISH I could clearly relate a very sharp conflict which my beloved father had during that painful illness, for it made an impression on me which will never be entirely erased from my memory.

I was sitting with him alone one morning. I had been reading a psalm which he had selected, and he was trying to pour out his soul before the Lord his God, but only in a whisper, being too weak and ill to pray audibly. In this way he lay for about an hour and a half, almost motionless, for I could only see his lips and eyes moving.

I observed his countenance change several times, but durst not stir, lest I should disturb him; but as he became paler and paler, I was greatly alarmed, and was just rising to go to him, when these words came to me, with a power that I shall never forget-"Be still and know that I am God."

I became perfectly calm in an instant, and at that moment my beloved parent beckoned me to him. He took my hand and said, "My child, that was the SEVEREST CONFLICT With Satan I ever had; but (he added) he cannot hurt me, he is a chained enemy."

I told him I had been trying to pray to God that He would manifest himself to him again, and that I had had these words in answer-"The vision is for an appointed time; though it tarry, wait for it; it will surely come, and not tarry."

He said, "My dear child, those were the very words which I have just had;" and pointing to the wall he said, "It was as if they were written THERE; so the Lord has told us both at once-but, you see, it is an APPOINTED time."

He then told me how Satan had tried to make him cast away his confidence in God's mercy, telling him he was

428

depart in peace, for mine eves have seen Come, Lord Jesus COME QUICKLY —

[ocr errors]

"Something may be drawn from he Christian friends, where there has been offence taken. They meet in public. ne civility and politeness; but there is a great they are alone together, and open their minds in consciences are cleared before God, and then they are as loving as ever."

s

Speaking once very sweetly upon the love and You Christ, "Well, my child, this is not half a imp ocean which is in store for ME.

[ocr errors]

Like m

Every round of Jacob's ladder is a stage or lac place, and O it is both the divinity and humanity of Christ-how suitable and PRECIOUS to me. brother Jacob, 'I have waited for thy salvation. O Lori' "I am like the whale blown upon its back— GREAT SINNER under the weight of the holiness and justice of a good God. The earth with her bars is about me: the weeds are wrapped about my head. O my glorious, living Lord Jesus! the centre between me and the Father."

EXIL

« AnteriorContinuar »