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the cure of eyes, and monsieur Rosselli + only can cure the gout. We pretend to none of these things; but to examine who and who are together, to tell any mistaken man he is not what he believes he is, to distinguish merit, and expose false pretences to it, is a liberty our family has by law in them, from an intermarriage with a daughter of Mr. Scoggin, the famous droll of the last century. This right I design to make use of; but will not

drawn with much spirit and wit, and the drama | heirs enjoy his pills; Sir William Read * has introduced by the dialogue of the first scene with uncommon, yet natural conversation. The part of Fondlewife is a lively image of the unseasonable fondness of age and impotence. But, instead of such agreeable works as these, the town has for half an age been tormented with insects called Easy Writers, whose abilities Mr. Wycherly one day described excellently well in one word: 'That,' says he, among these fellows is called Easy Writing, which any one may easily write.' Such janty scrib-encroach upon the above-mentioned adepts, or blers are so justly laughed at for their sonnets on Phillis and Chloris, and fantastical descriptions in them, that an ingenious kinsman of mine, of the family of the Staffs, Mr. Humphrey Wagstaff by name, has, to avoid their strain, run into a way perfectly new, and described things exactly as they happen; * he never forms fields, or nymphs, or groves, where they are not; but makes the incidents just as they really appear. For an example of it: I stole out of his manuscript the following lines; they are a description of the morning, but of the morning in town; nay, of the morning at this end of the town, where my kinsman at present lodges:

Now hardly here and there an hackney coach
Appearing, show'd the ruddy morn's approach.
Now Betty from her master's bed had flown,
And softly stole to discompose her own.
The slipshod 'prentice, from his master's door,
Had par'd the street, and sprinkled round the floor;
Now Moll had whirl'd her mop with dex'trous airs,
Prepar'd to scrub the entry and the stairs.
The youth with broomy stamps began to trace
The kennel-edge, where wheels had worn the place.
The small-coal man was heard with cadence deep,
Till drown'd in shriller notes of chimney-sweep.
Duns at his lordship's gates began to mect;

And brick-dust Moll had scream'd thro' half a street:
The turnkey now his flock returning sces,
Duly let out a' nights to steal for fees.
The watchful bailiffs take their silent stands;
And school-boys lag with satchels in their hands.

All that I apprehend is, that dear Numps

There

any other. At the same time, I shall take all the privileges I may, as an Englishman, and will lay hold of the late act of naturalization to introduce what I shall think fit from France. The use of that law may, I hope, be extended to people the polite world with new characters, as well as the kingdom itself with new subjects. Therefore an author of that nation, called La Bruyere, I shall make bold with on such occasions. The last person I read of in that writer was lord Timon. Timon, says my author, is the most generous of all men; but is so hurried away with that strong impulse of bestowing, that he confers benefits without distinction, and is munificent without laying obligations. For all the unworthy, who receive from him, have so little sense of this noble infirmity, that they look upon themselves rather as partners in a spoil, than partakers of a bounty. The other day, coming into Paris, I met Timon going out on horseback, attended only by one servant. It struck me with a sudden damp, to see a man of so excellent a disposition, and who understood making a figure so well, so much shortened in his retinue. But, passing by his house, I saw his great coach break to pieces before his door, and, by a strange enchantment, immediately turned into many different vehicles. The first was a very pretty

chariot, into which stepped his lordship's secretary. The second was hung a little heavier; into that strutted the fat steward. In an instant followed a chaise, which was entered by the butler. The rest of the body and wheels were forthwith changed into go-carts, and run away with by the nurses and brats of the rest of the family. What makes these misfortunes

will be angry I have published these lines; not that he has any reason to be ashamed of them, but for fear of those rogues, the bane to all excellent performances, the imitators. fore, beforehand, I bar all descriptions of the evening; as a medley of verses signifying grey peas are now cried warm; that wenches now begin to amble round the passages of the play-in the affairs of Timon the more astonishing house or of noon; as, that fine ladies and great beaux are just yawning out of their beds and windows in Pall-mall, and so forth. I forewarn also all persons from encouraging any draughts after my cousin; and foretell any man who shall go about to imitate him, that he will be very insipid. The family-stock is embarked in this design, and we will not adit of counterfeits. Dr. Anderson + and his

• Dr. Swift.

is, that he has better understanding than those who cheat him; so that a man knows not

* 'Henley would fain have me to go with Steele and Rowe, &c. to an invitation at Sir William Read's. Surely you have heard of him. He has been a mountebank, and is the queen's oculist; he makes admirable punch, and treats But I am engaged, and won't go; neither indeed am I fond of the jaunt." April 11, 1711.Swift's Works, vol. xxii. p. £0.

you in gold vessels.

It is said that the queen's oculist, though he was wonderfully successful, could neither read nor write.

+ Rosselli, sufficiently known from the Romance of his

*Anderson was a Scoten physician in the reigns of Charles life, which was written by himself. 1. and Charles II.

1 Scoggin was a buffoon in the reign of king James I.

which more to wonder at, the indifference of the master, or the impudence of the servant.

White's Chocolate-house, April 29.

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ture went so far, as to make him put off his admonitions to his son, even until after his death; and did not give him his thoughts of him, until he came to read that memorable passage in his will: All the rest of my estate,' says he, I leave to my son Edward (who is executor to this my will) to be squandered as he shall think fit: I leave it him for that purpose, and hope no better for him." A generous disdain, and reflection upon how little he deserved from so excellent a father, reformed the young man, and made Edward, from an arrant rake, become a fine gentleman.

St. James's Coffee-house, April 29.

Letters from Portugal of the eighteenth instant, dated from Estremos, say, that on the sixth the carl of Galway arrived at that place, and had the satisfaction to see the quarters well furnished with all manner of provisions, and a quantity of bread sufficient for subsist

It is a matter of much speculation among the beaux and oglers, what it is that can have made so sudden a change, as has been of late observed, in the whole behaviour of Pastorella, who never sat still a moment until she was eighteen, which she has now exceeded by two months. Her aunt, who has the care of her, has not been always so igid as she is at this present date; but has so good a sense of the frailty of woman, and falsehood of man, that she resolved on all manner of methods to keep Pastorella, if possible, in safety, against herself and all her admirers. At the same time the good lady knew by long experience, that a gay inclination, curbed too rashly, would but run to the greater excesses for that restraint; she therefore intended to watch her, and take some opportunity of engaging her insensibly in hering the troops for sixty days, besides biscuit for own interests, without the anguish of an ad- twenty-five days. The enemy give out, that monition. You are to know, then, that miss, they shall bring into the field fourteen regiwith all her flirting and ogling, had also na- ments of horse, and twenty-four battalions. turally a strong curiosity in her, and was the The troops in the service of Portugal will make greatest eaves-dropper breathing. Parisatis (for up 14,000 foot, and 4000 horse. On the day so her prudent aunt is called) observed this hu- these letters were despatched, the earl of Gal mour, and retires one day to her closet, into way received advice, that the marquis de Bay which she knew Pastorella would peep, and was preparing for some enterprise, by gatherlisten to know how she was employed. It ing his troops together on the frontiers. Wherehappened accordingly; and the young lady upon his excellency resolved to go that same saw her good governante on her knees, and, night to Villa Viciosa, to assemble the troops after a mental behaviour, break into these in that neighbourhood, in order to disappoint words, As for the dear child committed to his designs. my care, let her sobriety of carriage, and severity of behaviour, be such as may make that noble lord who is taken with her beauty, turn his designs to such as are honourable.' Here Parisatis heard her niece nestle closer to the key-hole she then goes on: Make her the joyful mother of a numerous and wealthy off-body, consisting of 20,000 men, with a design, spring; and let her carriage be such, as may make this noble youth expect the blessings of a happy marriage, from the singularity of her life, in this loose and censorious age.' Miss, having heard enough, sneaks off for fear of discovery, and immediately at her glass alters the sitting of her head; then pulls up her tucker, and forms herself into the exact manner of Lindamira; in a word, becomes a sincere convert to every thing that is commendable in a fine young lady; and two or three such matches, as her aunt feigned in her devotions, are at this day in her choice. This is the history and original cause of Pastorella's These advices add, that the marshal Boufflers, conversion from coquetry. The prudence in monsieur Torcy (who distinguished himself forthe management of this young lady's temper, merly, by advising the court of France to adand good judgment of it, is hardly to be ex- here to the treaty of partition,) and monsieur ceeded. I scarce remember a greater instance d'Harcourt (who negociated with cardinal Porof forbearance of the usual peevish way with tocarrero for the succession of the crown of which the aged treat the young than this, ex- Spain in the house of Bourbon,) are all three cept that of our famous Noy, whose good-na-joined in a commission for a treaty of peace.

Yesterday, in the evening, captain Foxton, aid-de-camp to major-general Cadogan, arrived here express from the duke of Marlborough; and this day a mail is come in with letters from Brussels of the sixth of May, N. S. which advise, that the enemy had drawn together a

as was supposed, to intercept the great convoy on the march towards Lisle, which was safely arrived at Menin and Courtray, in its way to that place, the French having retired without making any attempt.

We hear from the Hague, that a person of the first quality is arrived in the Low Countries from France, in order to be a plenipotentiary in an ensuing treaty of peace.

Letters from France acknowledge, that monsieur Bernard has made no higher offers of satisfaction to his creditors than of thirty-five pounds per cent.

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Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
Our motley paper seizes for it's theme.

P.
BY MRS. JENNY DISTAFF, HALF-SISTER TO MR.
BICKERSTAFF.

From my own Apartment, May 1. My brother Isaac, having a sudden occasion to go out of town, ordered me to take upon me the despatch of the next advices from home, with liberty to speak in my own way; not doubting the allowances which would be given to a writer of my sex. You may be sure I undertook it with much satisfaction; and I confess, I am not a little pleased with the opportunity of running over all the papers in his closet, which he has left open for my use on this occasion. The first that I lay my hands on, is a treatise concerning the empire of beauty,' and the effects it has had in all nations of the world, upon the public and private actions of men ; with an appendix, which he calls, 'The Bachelor's scheme for governing his wife.' The first thing he makes this gentleman propose, is, that she shall be no woman; for she is to have an aversion to balls, to operas, to visits: she is to think his company sufficient to fill up all the hours of life with great satisfaction; she is never to believe any other man wise, learned, or valiant; or at least, but in a second degree. In the next place, he intends she shall be a cuckold; but expects, that he himself must live in perfect security from that terror. dwells a great while on instructions for her discreet behaviour, in case of his falsehood. I have not patience with these unreasonable expectations, therefore turn back to the treatise itself. Here indeed my brother deduces all the revolutions among men from the passion of love; and in his preface answers that usual observation against us, that there is no quarrel without a woman in it;' with a gallant assertion, that there is nothing else worth quarrelling for.' My brother is of a complexion truly amorous; all his thoughts and actions carry in them a tincture of that obliging inclination; and this turn has opened his eyes to see, that we are not the inconsiderable creatures which unlucky pretenders to our favour

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He

would insinuate. He observes, that no man begins to make any tolerable figure, until he sets out with the hopes of pleasing some one of us. No sooner he takes that in hand, but he pleases every one else by the bye. It has an immediate effect upon his behaviour. There is colonel Ranter,* who never spoke without an oath, until he saw the lady Betty Modish; now, never gives his man an order, but it is, Pray, Tom, do it.' The drawers where he drinks live in perfect happiness. He asked Will at the George the other day, how he did? Where he used to say, Damn it, it is so;' he now 'believes there is some mistake; he must confess, he is of another opinion; but however he will not insist.'

Every temper, except downright insipid, is to be animated and softened by the influence of beauty; but of this untractable sort is a lifeless handsome fellow that visits us, whom I have dressed at this twelvemonth, but he is as insensible of all the arts I use, as if he conversed all that time with his nurse. He outdoes our whole sex in all the faults our enemies impute to us; he has brought laziness into an opinion, and makes his indolence his philosophy: insomuch that no longer ago than yesterday in the evening he gave me this account of himself: 'I am, madam, perfectly unmoved at all that passes among men, and seldom give when I do, I always appear the same thing to myself the fatigue of going among them; but those whom I converse with. My hours of existence, or being awake, are from eleven in the live to myself, in picking my teeth, washing morning to eleven at night; half of which I my hands, paring my nails, and looking in the glass. The insignificancy of my manners to the rest of the world,+ makes the laughers call me a Quidnunc, a phrase which I neither understand, nor shall ever enquire what they St. James's coffee-house, where I converse, yet mean by it. The last of me each night is at never fall into a dispute on any occasion; but leave the understanding I have, passive of all that goes through it, without entering into the business of life. And thus, madam, have I arrived by laziness, to what others pretend to by philosophy, a perfect neglect of the world.' Sure, if our sex had the liberty of frequenting public houses and conversations, we should put

*There is probably an allusion here to the celebrated Mrs. Anne Oldfield and brigadier-general Churchill. Mrs. O. played at this time inimitably well the character of Lady Betty Modish in the Careless Husband,' which the author, Mr. Cibber, acknowledges was not only written for her, but copied from her, so that she was both the player, and the original of the character. Biog. Brit. Art. Oldfield.

+ What follows is inserted as a farther specimen of the imanner of the Annotator on the Tatler, and of the nature of his remarks. See Tutler, Nos. 5. and 7. Nothing is more apropos, than to talk in a dialect that is not English, of a phrase that is not sense.' Annotations on the Tatler,

part i. p. 85.

these rivals of our faults and follies out of coun tenance. However, we shall soon have the pleasure of being acquainted with them one way or other; for my brother Isaac designs, for the use of our sex, to give the exact characters of all the chief politicians, who frequent any of the coffee-houses from St. James's to the Exchange; but designs to begin with that cluster of wise-heads, as they are found sitting every evening from the left side of the fire, at the Smyrna, to the door. This will be of great service for us, and I have authority to promise an exact journal of their deliberations; the publication of which I am to be allowed for pin-money. In the mean time, I cast my eye upon a new book, which gave me more pleasing entertainment, being a sixth part of Miscellany Poems published by Jacob Tonson,* which, I find, by my brother's notes upon it, no way inferior to the other volumes. There is, it seems in this, a collection of the best pastorals that have hitherto appeared in England; but, among them, none superior to that dialogue between Sylvia and Dorinda, written by one of my own sex;† where all our little weaknesses are laid open in a manner more just, and with truer raillery, than ever man yet hit upon.

Only this I now discern,

From the things thou'dst have me learn,
That womankind's peculiar joys
From past or present beauties rise.

But, to reassume my first design, there cannot be a greater instance of the command of females, than in the prevailing charms of the heroine in the play, which was acted this night, called, 'All for Love; or The World well Lost.' The enamoured Anthony resigns glory and power to the force of the attractive Cleopatra, whose charms were the defence of her diadem against a people otherwise invincible. It is so natural for women to talk of themselves, that it is to be hoped, all my own sex at least will pardon me, that I could fall into no other discourse. If we have their favour, we give ourselves very little anxiety for the rest of our readers. I believe I see a sentence of Latin in my brother's day-book of wit, which seems applicable on this occasion, and in contempt

of the critics,

Tristitiam et metus Tradam protervis in mare Creticum § Portare ventis.

Hor. i. Od. xxvi. 2.

No boding fears shall break my rest, Nor anxious cares invade my breast; Puff them, ye wanton gales, away, And plunge them in the Cretan sea.

Usually called Dryden's Collection.'

But I am interrupted by a packet from Mr. Kidney, from St. James's coffee-house, which I am obliged to insert in the very style and words which Mr. Kidney uses in his letter.

St James's Coffee-house, May 2. We are advised by letters from Bern, dated the first instant, N. S. that the duke of Berwick arrived at Lyons the twenty-fifth of the last month, and continued his journey the next day to visit the passes of the mountains and other posts in Dauphiné and Provence. These letters also informed us, that the miseries of the people in France are heightened to that degree, that unless a peace be speedily concluded, half of that kingdom would perish for want of bread. On the twenty-fourth, the marshal de Thesse passed through Lyons, in his way to Versailles; and two battalions, which were marching from Alsace to reinforce the army of the duke of Berwick, passed also through that place. Those troops were to be followed by six battalions more.

Letters from Naples of the sixteenth of April say, that the marquis de Prie's son was arrived there, with instructions from his father, to signify to the viceroy the necessity his imperial majesty was under, of desiring an aid from that kingdom, for carrying on the extraordinary expenses of the war. On the fourteenth of the same month they made a review of the Spanish troops in that garrison, and afterwards of the marines; one part of whom will embark with those designed for Barcelona, and the rest are to be sent on board the galleys appointed to convoy provisions to that place. twentieth of April, that the count de Mellos, We hear from Rome, by letters dated the envoy from the king of Portugal, had made bis public entry into that city with much state and magnificence. The pope has lately held two other consistories, wherein he made a promotion of two cardinals; but the acknowledgment of king Charles is still deferred.

Letters from other parts of Italy advise us, that the doge of Venice continues dangerously ill; that the prince de Carignan, having relapsed

into a violent fever, died the twenty-third of

April, in his eightieth year.

Advices from Vienna of the twenty-seventh of April import, that the archbishop of Saltzburg is dead, who is succeeded by count Harrach, formerly bishop of Vienna, and for these last three years coadjutor to the said archR. Winne. bishop; and that prince Maximilian of Lichtenstein is likewise departed this life at his country seat called Cromaw in Moravia. These

+ By Mrs. Elizabeth Singer, celebrated by Prior in many advices add, that the emperor has named count parts of his poems, and afterwards Mrs. Rowe.

I By Dryden, first acted in the year 1678.

The humour of Mrs. Jenny Distaff's Latin quotation stands in need of some illustration. It rises out of the simi

larity between the words Cretecum and Criticum, which are sufficiently alike to mislead a lady unskilled in the Latin language, into this misapplication of the passage.

Zinzendorf, count Goes, and monsieur Consbruck, for his plenipotentiaries in an ensuing treaty of peace; and they hear from Hungary, that the imperialists have had several successful skirmishes with the malecontents.

been sent blank by monsieur Rouille, he was there two days before his quality was known. That minister offered to communicate to mon

make; but the pensionary refused to see them, and said, he would signify it to the states, who deputed some of their own body to acquaint him, that they would enter into no negotiation until the arrival of his grace the duke of Marlborough, and the other ministers of the alliance.

Letters from Paris, dated May the sixth, say that the marshal de Thesse arrived there on the twenty-ninth of last mouth, and that the chevalier de Beuil was sent thither by Donsieur Heinsius the proposals which he had to Pedro Ronquillo with advice, that the confederate squadron appeared before Alicant on the seventeenth; and, having for some time cannonaded the city, endeavoured to land some troops for the relief of the castle; but general Stanhope, finding the passes well guarded, and the enterprise dangerous, demanded to capitu-Prince Eugene was expected there the twelfth late for the castle; which being granted him, instant from Brussels. It is said, that besides the garrison, consisting of six hundred regular monsieur de Torcy, and monsieur Pajot, directroops, marched out with their arms and bag-tor-general of the posts, there are two or three gage the day following; and being received on board, they immediately set sail for Barcelona. These letters add, that the march of the French and Swiss regiments is further deferred for a few days; and that the duke of Noailles was just ready to set out for Roussillon, as well as the count de Bezons for Catalonia.

persons at the Hague whose names are not known; but it is supposed, that the duke d'Alba, ambassador from the duke of Anjou, was one of them. The states have sent letters to all the cities of the provinces, desiring them to send their deputies to receive the propositions of peace made by the court of France.

In the absence of Mr. Bickerstaff, Mrs. Distaff has received Mr. Nathaniel Broomstick's

No. 11.] Thursday, May 5, 1709.

Quicquid agunt homines

Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86.

-nostri est farrago libelli.
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
Our motley paper seizes for it's theme.

BY ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, ESQUIRE

Will's Coffee-house, May 3.

P.

The same advices say, bread was sold at Paris for sixpence a pound; and that there was not half enough, even at that tate, to sup-letter. ply the necessities of the people, which reduced them to the utmost despair; that three N. B. Under the signature of Nath. Broomhundred men had taken up arms, and, having stick, the subsequent paper, or hints for it, plundered the market of the suburb of St. Ger- might have been communicated to Steele by main, pressed down by their multitude the king's Swift, by Anthony Henley, Esq. or by Mr. Jabez guards who opposed them. Two of those mu-Hughes. See Tatler, No. 11. tineers were afterwards seized and condemned to death; but four others went to the magistrate who pronounced that sentence, and told him, he must expect to answer with his own life for those of their comrades. All order and sense of government being thus lost among the enraged people; to keep up a show of authority, the captain of the guards, who saw all their insolence, pretended, that he had represented to the king their deplorable condition, and had obtained their pardon. It is further reported, that the dauphin and dutchess of Burgundy, as they went to the opera, were surrounded by crowds of people, who upbraided them with their neglect of the general calamity, in going to diversions, when the whole people were ready to perish for want of bread. Edicts are daily published to suppress these riots; and papers, with menaces against the government, as publicly thrown about. Among others, these words were dropped in a court of Justice. France wants a Ravilliac or Jesuit to deliver her. Besides this universal distress, there is a contagious sickness, which, it is feared, will end in a pestilence. Letters from Bourdeaux bring accounts no less lamentable; the peasants are driven by hunger from their abodes into that city, and make lamentations in the streets without redress.

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We are advised by letters from the Hague, dated the tenth instant, N. S. that on the sixth the marquis de Torcy arrived there from Paris; but the passport, by which he came, having

A KINSMAN has sent me a letter, wherein he informs me, he had lately resolved to write an heroic poem, but by business has been interrupted, and has only made one similitude, which he should be afflicted to have wholly lost; and begs of me to apply it to something, being very desirous to see it well placed in the world. I am so willing to help the distressed, that I have taken it in ; but, though his greater genius might very well distinguish his verses from mine, I have marked where his begin. His lines are a description of the sun in eclipse, which I know nothing more like than a brave man in sorrow, who bears it as he should, without imploring the pity of his friends, or being dejected with the contempt of his enemies; as in the case of Cato.

When all the globe to Cæsar's fortune bow'd,
Cato alone his empire disallow'd;
With inborn strength alone oppos'd mankind,
With heav'n in view, to all below it blind:
Regardless of his friends applause, or moan,
Alone triumphant, since he falls alone.

Thus when the Rater of the genial day
Behind some dark'ning planet forms his way,
D

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