IT LETTER XXIV. 08. 2. 1727. Tis a perfect trouble to me to write to you; and your kind letter left for me at Mr. Gay's affected me fo much, that it made me like a girl. I can't tell what to fay to you; I only feel that I wish you well in every circumstance of life; that it is almost as good to be hated as to be loved, confidering the pain it is to minds of any tender turn, to find themselves fo utterly impotent to do any good, or give any eafe to those who deferve most from us. I would very fain know, as foon as you recover your complaints, or any part of them. Would to God I could ease any of them, or had been able even to have alleviated any! I found I was not, and truly it grieved me. I was forry to find you could think yourself easier in any house than in mine; tho at the fame time I can allow for a tenderness in your way of thinking, even when it seemed to want that tenderness. I can't explain my meaning; perhaps you know it. But the best way of convincing you of my indulgence, will be, if I live, to vifit you in Ireland, and act there as much in my own way as you did here in yours. I will not leave your roof, if I am ill. To your bad health I fear there was added fome difagreeable news from Ireland, which might occafion your fo fudden departure: for the last time I faw you, you affured me you would not leave us this whole winter, unlefs your health grew better; and I don't find it did fo. I never complied fo unwillingly in my life with any friend as with you, in ftaying fo intirely from you; nor could I have had the conftancy to do it, if you had not promifed, that before you went, we should meet, and you would fend to us all to come. I have given your re membrances to those you mention in yours. We are quite forry for you, I mean for ourselves. I hope, as you do, that we fhall meet in a more durable and more fatisfactory ftate; but the lefs fure I am of that, the more I would indulge it in this. We are to believe, we shall have fomething better than even a friend, there; there; but certainly here we have nothing fo good. Adieu for this time. May you find every friend you go to as pleafed and happy, as every friend you went from is forry and troubled. Yours, &c. I LETTER XXV. From Dr SWIFT. Dublin, O. 12. 1727. Have been long reafoning with myfelf upon the condition I am in, and in conclufion have thought it best to return to what fortune hath made my home. I have there a large house, and fervants and conveniencies about me. I may be worfe than I am; and I have no where to retire. I therefore thought it best to return to Ireland, rather than go to any distant place in England. Here is my maintenance, and here my convenience. If it pleases God to restore me to my health, I shall readily make a third journey; if not, we must part, as all human creatures have parted. You are the best and kindest friend in the world, and I know no body alive or dead to whom I am fo much obliged : and if ever you made me angry, it was for your too much care about me. I have often wished that God almighty would be fo eafy to the weakness of mankind, as to let old friends be acquainted in another ftate; and if I were to write an Utopia for heaven, that would be one of my fchemes. This wildnefs you must allow for, because I am giddy and deaf. I find it more convenient to be fick here, without the vexation of making my friends uneafy; yet my giddinefs alone would not have done, if that unfociable comfortless deafnefs had not quite tired. me. And I believe I fhould have returned from the inn, if I had not feared it was only a fhort intermiffion, and the year was late, and my licence expiring. Surely, befides all other faults, I fhould be a very ill judge, to doubt your friendship and kindness. But it hath pleafed God, that IT LETTER XXIV. 08. 2. 1727. Tis a perfect trouble to me to write to you; and your kind letter left for me at Mr. Gay's affected me fo much, that it made me like a girl. I can't tell what to fay to you; I only feel that I wish you well in every circumftance of life; that it is almoft as good to be hated as to be loved, confidering the pain it is to minds of any tender turn, to find themselves fo utterly impotent to do any good, or give any eafe to those who deferve most from us. I would very fain know, as foon as you recover your complaints, or any part of them. Would to God I could ease any of them, or had been able even to have alleviated any! I found I was not, and truly it grieved me. I was forry to find you could think yourself eafier in any house than in mine; tho at the fame time I can allow for a tendernefs in your way of thinking, even when it seemed to want that tenderness. I can't explain my meaning; perhaps you know it. But the best way of convincing you of my indulgence, will be, if I live, to vifit you in Ireland, and act there as much in my own way as you did here in yours. I will not leave your roof, if I am ill. To your bad health I fear there was added fome difagreeable news from Ireland, which might occafion your fo fudden departure: for the last time I faw you, you affured me you would not leave us this whole winter, unlefs your health grew better; and I don't find it did fo. I never complied fo unwillingly in my life with any friend as with you, in staying fo intirely from you; nor could I have had the conftancy to do it, if you had not promifed, that before you went, we fhould meet, and you would fend to us all to come. I have given your re membrances to thofe you mention in yours. We are quite forry for you, I mean for ourselves. I hope, as you do, that we shall meet in a more durable and more fatisfactory state; but the lefs fure I am of that, the more I would indulge it in this. We are to believe, we shall have something better than even a friend, there; there; but certainly here we have nothing fo good. Adieu for this time. May you find every friend you go to as pleased and happy, as every friend you went from is forry and troubled.. Yours, &c. I LETTER XXV. From Dr SWIFT. Dublin, O. 12. 1727. Have been long reafoning with myfelf upon the condition I am in, and in conclufion have thought it best to return to what fortune hath made my home. I have there a large house, and fervants and conveniencies about me. I may be worfe than I am; and I have no where to retire. I therefore thought it beft to return to Ireland, rather than go to any distant place in England. Here is my maintenance, and here my convenience. If it pleafes God to reftore me to my health, I fhall readily make a third journey; if not, we must part, as all human creatures have parted. You are the best and kindest friend in the world, and I know no body alive or dead to whom I am fo much obliged : and if ever you made me angry, it was for your too much care about me. I have often wished that God almighty would be fo eafy to the weakness of mankind, as to let old friends be acquainted in another state; and if I were to write an Utopia for heaven, that would be one of my fchemes. This wildnefs you. muft allow for, because I am giddy and deaf. I find it more convenient to be fick here, without the vexation of making my friends uneafy; yet my giddinefs alone would not have done, if that unfociable comfortless deafnefs had not quite tired. me. And believe I fhould have returned from the inn, if I had not feared it was only a fhort intermiffion, and the year was late, and my licence expiring. Surely, befides all other faults, I fhould be a very ill judge, to doubt your friendship and kindness. But it hath pleafed God, that that you are not in a state of health, to be mortified with the care and sickness of a friend. Two fick friends never did well together; fuch an office is fitter for fervants and humble companions, to whom it is wholly indifferent, whether we give them trouble or no. The cafe would be quite otherwise if you were with me; you could refufe to fee any body; and here is a large house, where we need not hear each other if we were both fick. I have a race of orderly elderly people of both fexes at command, who are of no confequence, and have gifts proper for attending us; who can bawl when I am deaf, and treat softly when I am only giddy and would fleep. I had another reason for my hafte hither; which was changing my agent, the old one having terribly invol ved my little affairs; to which however I am grown fo indifferent, that I believe I shall lofe two or three hundred pounds rather than plague myself with accounts; fo that I am very well qualified to be a Lord, and put into Peter Walter's hands. PRAY God continue and increafe Mr Congreve's amendment; tho he does not deferve it like you, having been too lavish of that health which nature gave him. 64 I hope my Whitehall landlord is nearer to a place than when I left him as the preacher faid, "the day of judgment was nearer than ever it had been before." PRAY God lend you health, det falutem, det opes; animam aquam tibi ipfe parabis. You fee Horace wifhed for money, as well as health; and I would hold a crown he kept a coach; and I shall never be a friend to the court you do so too. til LETTER XXVI. Yours, &c. From Dr SwIFT. October 30. 1727: T HE firft letter I writ after my landing was to Mr Gay; ; but it would have been wifer to direct it to Tonfon or Lintot, to whom I believe his lodgings are better 1 |