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mous whiskers) which the young scapegrace had drawn. "Monsieur is very good. But one cannot too early inculcate retenue and decorum to young ladies in a country where demoiselles seem for ever to forget that they are young ladies of condition. I am forced to keep the eyes. of lynx upon these young persons, otherwise heaven knows what would come to them. Only yesterday, my back is turned for a moment, I cast my eyes on a book, having but little time for literature, monsieur - for literature, which I adore when a cry makes itself to hear. I turn myself, and what do I see ? Mesdemoiselles your nieces playing at criquette, with the Messieurs Smeessons of Doctor Smees—young galopins, monsieur !” All this was shrieked with immense volubility and many actions of the hand and parasol across the square-railings to the amused Colonel, at whom the little girls peered through the bars..
“Well, my dears, I should like to have a game at cricket with you, too," says the kind gentleman, reaching them each a brown hand,
“You, monsieur, c'est différent-a man of your age ! Salute monsieur, your uncle, mesdemoiselles. You conceive, monsieur, that I also must be cautious when I speak to a man so distinguished in a public squar.” And she cast down her great eyes, and hid those radiant orbs from the Colonel.
Meanwhile, Colonel Newcome, indifferent to the direction which Miss Lebrun's eyes took, whether towards his hat or his boots, was surveying his little nieces with that kind expression which his face always wore when it was turned towards children. “Have you heard of your uncle in India ?” he asked them..
“No," says Maria.
“Yes," says Fanny. “You know Mademoiselle said” (Mademoiselle at this moment was twittering her fingers, and, as it were, kissing them in the direction of a grand barouche that was advancing along the square)_ you know Mademoiselle said that if we were méchantes we should be sent to our uncle in India. I think I should like to go with you.”
“O you silly child !" cries Maria. .6 Yes, I should, if Clive went too,” says little Fanny.
.“ Behold Madam, who arrives from her promenade!” Miss Lebrun exclaimed; and, turning round, Colonel Newcome had the satisfaction of beholding, for the first time, his sister-in-law.
A stout lady, with fair hair and a fine bonnet and pelisse (who knows what were the fine bonnets and pelisses of the year 183?), was reclining in the barouche, the scarlet-plush integuments of ner domestics blazing before and behind her. A pretty little foot was on the cushion opposite to her; feathers waved in her bonnet; a book was in her lap; an oval portrait of a gentleman reposed on her voiua minous bosom. She wore another picture of two darling heads, with pink cheeks and golden hair, on one of her wrists, with many more chains, bracelets, bangles, and knicknacks. A pair of dirty gloves marred the splendour of this appearance; a heap of books from the library strewed the back seat of the carriage, and showed that her habits were literary. Springing down from his station behind his mistress, a youth clad in nether garments of red sammit discharged thunderclaps on the door of Mrs. Newcome's house, announcing to the whole square that his mistress had returned to her abode.
· Clive, with a queer twinkle of his eyes, ran towards his aunt. She bent over the carriage languidly towards him. She liked him. " What, you, Clive !" she said. “How come you away from school of a Thursday, sir?"
." It is a holiday," says he. “My father is come; and he is come to see you."
She bowed her head with an expression of affable surprise and majestic satisfaction. “ Indeed, Clive!” she was good enough to exclaim, and with an air which seemed to say, “Let him come up and be presented to me." The honest gentleman stepped forward and took off his hat and bowed, and stood bareheaded. She surveyed him blandly, and with infinite grace put forward one of the pudgy little hands in one of the dirty gloves. Can you fancy a twopenny-halfpenny baroness of King Francis's time patronising Bayard ? Can you imagine Queen Guinevere's lady’s-maid's lady's-maid being affable to Sir Lancelot ? I protest there is nothing like the virtue of English women.
“ You have only arrived to-day, and you came to see me? That was very kind. N'est-ce pas que c'étoit bong de Moseer le Colonel, Mademoiselle ? Madamaselle Lebrun, le Colonel Newcome mong frère." (In a whisper, “ My children's governess and my friend, a most superior woman.") “Was it not kind of Colonel Newcome to come to see me? Have you had a pleasant voyage? Did you come by St. Helena? Oh, how I envy you seeing the tomb of that great inan! Nous parlong de Napolleong, Mademoiselle, dong voter père a été le Général favvory,"
"O Dieu ! que n'ai-je pu le voir," interjaculates Mademoiselle. “Lui dont parle l'univers, dont mon père m'a si souvent parlé ?" but this remark passes quite unnoticed by Mademoiselle's friend, who continues :
* Clive, donnez-moi voter bras. These are two of my girls. My boys are at school. I shall be so glad to introduce them to their uncle. This naughty boy might never have seen you, but that we took him home to Marble Head, after the scarlet fever, and made hiin well, didn't we, Clive? And we are all very fond of him, and you must not be jealous of his love for his aunt. We feel that we quite
know you through him, and we know that you know us, and we hope you will like us. Do you think your papa will like us, Clive? Ory. perhaps, you will like Lady Ann best? Yes ; you have been to her first, of course ? Not been? Oh! because she is not in town." Leaning fondly on the arm of Clive, Mademoiselle standing grouped with the children hard by, while Jolin, with his hat off, stood at the opened door, Mrs. Newcome slowly uttered the above remarkable remarks to the Colonel, on the threshold of her house, which she never asked hiin to pass.
“If you will come in to us at about ten this evening," she then. said, "you will find some men, not undistinguished, who honour me of an evening. Perhaps they will be interesting to you, Colonel Newcome, as you are newly arrived in Europe. Not men of worldly rank, necessarily, although some of them are amongst the noblest of Europe. But my maxim is, that genius is an illustration, and merit is better than any pedigree. You have heard of Professor Bodgers ? Count Poski? Doctor McGuffog, who is called in his native country the Ezekiel of Clackmannan? Mr. Shaloony, the great Irish patriot? our papers have told you of him. These and some more have been good enough to promise me a visit to-night. : A stranger coming to London could scarcely have a better opportunity of seeing some of our great illustrations of science and literature. And you will meet our own, family-not Sir Brian's, who-who have other society and amusements--but mine. I hope Mr. Newcome and myself will never forget. them. We have a few friends at dinner, and now I must go in and consult with Mrs. Hubbard, my housekeeper. Good-by for the present. Mind, not later than ten, as Mr. Newcome must be up betimes in the morning, and our parties break up early. When Clive is a little older, I daresay we shall see him, too. Good-by!” And again the Colonel was favoured with a shake of the glove, and the lady and her suite sailed up the stair, and passed in at the door.
She had not the faintest idea but that the hospitality which she was offering to her kinsman was of the most cordial and pleasant kind. She fancied everything she did was perfectly right and graceful. She invited her husband's clerks to come through the rain at ten. o'clock from Kentish Town; she asked artists to bring their sketchbooks from Kensington, or luckless pianists to trudge with their music from Brompton. She rewarded them with a smile and a cup of teag. and thought they were made happy by her condescension. If, after two: or three of these delightful evenings, they ceased to attend her receptions, she shook her little flaxen head, and sadly intimated that Mr. A. was getting into bad courses, or feared that Mr. B. found merely intellectual parties too quiet for him. Else, what young man in his senses could refuse such entertainment and instruction ?
CHAPTER VIII. MRS. NEWCOME AT HOME (A SMALL EARLY PARTY). "To push on in the crowd, every male or female struggler must use
1 his or her shoulders. If a better place than yours presents itself just beyond your neighbour, elbow him and take it. Look how a steadily-purposed man or woman at court, at a ball, or exhibition, wherever there is a competition and a squeeze, gets the best place; the nearest the sovereign, if bent on kissing the royal hand; the closest to the grand stand, if minded to go to Ascot; the best view and hearing of the Rev. Mr. Thumpington, when all the town is rushing to hear that exciting divine; the largest quantity of ice, champagne, and seltzer, cold pâté, or other his or her favourite fleshpot, if gluttonously minded, at a supper whence hundreds of people come empty away. A woman of the world will marry her daughter and have done with her, get her carriage, and be at home and asleep in bed; whilst a timid mamma has still her girl in the nursery, or is beseeching the servants in the cloak-room to look for her shawls, with which some one else has whisked away an hour ago. What a man has to do in society is to assert himself. Is there a good place at table ? Take it. At the Treasury or the Home Office? Ask for it. Do you want to go to a party to which you are not invited ? Ask to be asked. Ask A., ask B., ask Mrs. C., ask everybody you know : you will be thought a bore; but you will have your way. What matters if you are considered obtrusive, provided that you obtrude? By pushing steadily, nine hundred and ninety-nine people in a thousand will yield to you. Only command persons, and you may be pretty sure that a good number will obey. How well your money will have been laid out, O gentle reader, who purchase this; and taking the maxim to heart, follow it through life! You may be sure of success. If your neighbour's foot obstructs you, stamp on it; and do you suppose he won't take it away? .
The proofs of the correctness of the above remarks I show in various members of the Newcome family. Here was a vulgar little woman, not clever nor pretty especially; meeting Mr. Newcome casually, she ordered him to marry her, and he obeyed as he obeyed her in everything else which she chose to order through life. Meeting
Colonel Newcome on the steps of her house, she orders him to come to her evening-party; and though he has not been to an evening-party for five-and-thirty years-though he has not been to bed the night before--though he has no mufti-coat except one sent him out by Messrs. Stultz to India in the year 1821-he never once thinks of disobeying Mrs. Newcome's order, but is actually at her door at five minutes past ten, having arrayed himself, to the wonderment of Clive, and left the boy to talk to his friend and fellow-passenger, Mr. Binnie, who has just arrived from Portsmouth, who has dined with him, and who, by previous arrangement, has taken up his quarters at the same hotel.
This Stultz coat, a blue swallow-tail, with yellow buttons, now wearing a tinge of their native copper, a very high velvet-collar, on a level with the tips of the Captain's ears, with a high waist, indicated by two lapelles, and a pair of buttons high up in the wearer's back, a white waistcoat and scarlet under-waistcoat, and a pair of the neverfailing duck trousers, complete Thomas Newcome's costume, along with the white hat in which we have seen him in the morning, and which was one of two dozen purchased by him some years since at public outcry, Burrumtollah. We have called him Captain purposely, while speaking of his coat, for he held that rank when the garment came out to him; and having been in the habit of considering it a splendid coat for twelve years past, he has not the least idea of changing his opinion.
Doctor McGuffog, Professor Bodgers, Count Poski, and all the lions present at Mrs. Newcome's réunion that evening, were completely eclipsed by Colonel Newcome. The worthy soul, who cared not the least about adorning himself, had a handsome diamond brooch of the year 1801-given him by poor Jack Cutler, who was knocked over by his side at Argaum, and wore this ornament in his desk for a thousand days and nights at a time-in his shirt-frill, on such paradeevenings as he considered Mrs. Newcome's to be. The splendour of this jewel, and of his flashing buttons, caused all eyes to turn to him. There were many pairs of mustachios present; those of Professor Schnurr, a very corpulent martyr, just escaped from Spandau, and of Maximilien Tranchard, French exile and apostle of liberty, were the only whiskers in the room capable of vying in interest with Colonel Newcome's. Polish chieftains were at this time so common in London, that nobody (except one noble Member for Marylebone, and, once a year, the Lord Mayor,) took any interest in them. The general opinion was, that the stranger was the Wallachian Boyar, whose arrival at Mivart's the Morning Post had just announced. Mrs. Miles, whose delicious every other Wednesdays in Montague Square are supposed by some to be rival entertainments to Mrs. Newcome's