She went out. I followed her. And then wanting somebody to divide her fault with, the dear Charlotte blamed my nasty scribbling again: but for that, said she, I should have told you all.

And what, my dear, would that have done, returned I? -That would not have prevented

No: but yet you might have given me your advice: I should have had the benefit of that; and my confessions would have been, then, perhaps, aforehand with his accusations. But, forgive me, Harriet▬▬

O my Charlotte! thought I to myself, could you but rein in your charming spirit a little, very little, you would not have had two forgivenesses to ask instead of one.

LETTER XXIX.

MISS BYRON.-IN CONTINUATION.

MISS GRANDISON desired me to return to the company. I did. She soon followed me; took her seat; and, with an air of mingled dignity and concern, delivered herself after this manner.

If it be not too late, after a perseverance in error so obstinate, to reinstate myself in my brother's good opinion, dearer to me than that of the whole world besides, my ingenuousness shall make atonement for that error.

SIR CH. I would spare my sister the

MISS GR. I will not be spared, sir-Pray hear me-I would not, in order to extenuate my own faults, (I hope I have not many,) seek to throw blame upon the absent; much

less upon the everlastingly absent: and yet my brother's piety must not be offended, if I am obliged to say something that may seem to cast a shade on a memory-Be not hurt, sir-I will be favourable to that memory, and just to my own fault. You, Harriet, would no more excuse me, than my brother, if I failed in either.

I bowed, and blushed. Sir Charles looked at me with a benign aspect.

My father, proceeded she, thought fit to be, or to seem to be, displeased with something that passed between him and Lord L on the application made by my lord to him for my sister.

SIR CH. He was not willing, perhaps, that a treaty of marriage should be begun but at his own first motion, however unexceptionable the man, or the proposal.

4

MISS GR. Every one knows that my father had great abilities; and they were adorned with a vivacity and spirit, that, wherever pointed, there was no resisting. He took his two daughters to task upon this occasion; and being desirous to discourage in them, at that time, any thoughts of marriage, he exerted, besides his authority, on this occasion, (which, I can truly say, had due weight with us both,) that vein of humour and raillery for which he was noted; insomuch that his poor girls were confounded, and unable to hold up their heads. My sister, in particular, was made to be ashamed of a passion, that surely no young woman, the object so worthy, ought to be ashamed of. My father also thought fit (perhaps for wise reasons) to acquaint, us, that he designed for us but small fortunes: and this depreciated me with myself. My sister had a stronger mind, and had better prospects. I could not but apprehend from what my sister suffered, what must be my sufferings in turn; and I thought I could be induced to take any step,

however rash, where virtue was not to be wounded, rather than undergo what she underwent from the raillery of a man so lively, and so humorous, and who stood in so venerable a degree of relation to me. While these impressions were strong in my mind, Captain Anderson, who was quartered near us, had an opportunity to fall into my company at an assembly. He is a sprightly man, and was well received by every body; and particularly a favourite of three young ladies, who could hardly be civil to each other, on his account: and this, I own, when he made assiduous court to me, in preference to them, and to every other woman, gave him some consequence with me: and then, being the principal officer in that part of the country, he was caressed as if he were a general. A daughter of Sir Thomas Grandison was deemed a prize worthy of his ambition, by every body, as well as by himself: while this poor daughter, dreading the difficulties that her sister had met with, and being led to think, by what her father declared to both sisters, that two or three thousand pounds would be the height of her fortune, had only to apprehend, that a captain either of horse or foot, who had been perhaps for years a frequenter of public places, both in town and country, in hopes of raising his fortune, would think himself but poorly paid for his pains, (were she even to obtain her father's pardon,) should she engage without waiting for his consent; as she was urged to do, by letters, which he found ways unsuspectedly to send her.-I hope, sir; I hope, my lord; and you, my two sisters; that you will now, from what I have said, acquit me of insincerity, though you cannot of past indiscretion.

Nevertheless, my pride at times was piqued: sometimes I declared off; at other times was prevailed upon, by arts which men are masters of, to go on again; till I found

my

self entangled, and at a loss to know how to go either backward or forward. The gentleman was indeed of a genteel family: but the object of my sister's regard had so much to be said for him; stood so well with my brother; and even with my father; was so much the man of quality, in every respect; that a rash step in me, I could not but think, would be looked upon as the more disgraceful, on that account; and that if I married Captain Anderson, I must be rejected, scorned, for one while, if not for ever.

And what title, often thought I, when I permitted myself seriously to think, have I to give my father a son, my brother, my sister, my Lord L, (should he and my sister marry,) a brother, whom they would not have chosen, nor will probably own?-Have not they a better right to reject him for their relation, than I have to choose him for my husband? And shall Charlotte Grandison, the daughter of the most prudent of mothers, take a step that shall make her be looked upon as the disgrace of her family? Shall she be obliged to follow a soldier's fortune into different quarters, and perhaps distant regions?

Such as these were, at times, my reasonings; and perhaps they would have had the less force with me, had I, in giving myself a husband, had none of these relations living, on whom to obtrude a new one, to their dislike, by my marriage.

Hence I could not bear to reveal the matter to my sister, who, in her choice, had so much advantage over me. I thought within these few weeks past, I could reveal it to my new-found sister; and it was one of my motives to come hither, at your invitation, Lord and Lady L, when you told me she was so obliging as to accompany you down: but she was everlastingly writing; and I was shy of forcing an opportunity, as none agreeably offered.

SIR CH. I would not interrupt you, Charlotte.-But may I ask, if this whole affair was carried on by letter? Did you not sometimes see each other?

MISS GR. We did. But our meetings were not frequent, because he was at one time quartered in Scotland; at another, was sent to Ireland, where he staid six or seven months; at others, in distant parts of the kingdom.

SIR CH. In what part of the king's dominions is the captain now?

MISS GR. Dear sir, could not the person who acquainted you with the affair, inform you of that?

SIR CH. [Smiling.] The person could, madam; and did. He is in London.

MISS GR. I hope my brother, after the freedom of my confession, and an ingenuousness that is not often found in such cases as this, will not be so unkind as to imagine, that I ought to have traps laid for me, as if I were not now at last frank and unreserved.

SIR CH. Exceedingly just, Charlotte! exceedingly just! -I beg your pardon. I said, we had all something to be forgiven for. I am not however questioning you, with intent to cast a stone; but to lend you a hand.

MISS GR. O that we had had liberty granted to us, having such a brother, to correspond with him!-Happy shall I be, if I can atone

There she stopt.

SIR CH. Proceed with your story, my dear Charlotte. -Greatly does the atonement overbalance the fault!

MISS GR. [Bowing to her brother.] Captain Anderson is in town. I have seen him twice. I was to have seen him at the play, had I not come down to Colnebrook. Not a tittle of the truth will I hide from you. Now I have re