be the Lord, who has accomplished this prophecy in me the most unworthy. My mother herself narrowly watched us, and would never suffer us to read any book but in the Hebrew language, lest we should read something about the Christian religion. Such was the enmity of my dear mother against the blessed name of Jesus, that, when a Christian, who frequently came to buy bread or flour, said, "I hope you will yet believe in Jesus Christ," she would exclaim, with great emotion of soul, "I will rather be damned than believe in the hanged one." Such also was the language of the mother of "Emma de Lissau ;" and no doubt to such conduct the apostle Paul alluded, when he said, "I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ," (Rom. ix. 3,) or rather, "for I did wish," i. e., before my conversion, "that myself might be damned, as Christ himself was," agreeably to my opinion of him at that time. Perhaps few passages have been considered more difficult to be understood than this. But the more I have examined what has been written on this passage, the more I am convinced that the mind of the apostle may be easily known; 1st. If the second and third verses are read without the clause, "for I could wish that myself were accursed from Christ," 2dly. Let the original word Euchomén, the imperfect middle voice, be translated I did wish, instead of I "could," i. e., before my conversion; 3dly. Let this sentence be read in a parenthesis, as a reason why Paul felt and expressed greater sympathy for his brethren than any other of the apostles did. As if he had said, "They never hated Christ as I did; for before my conversion I was as bad as my unbelieving brethren are. For like them I did wish myself accursed from Christ; i. e., I abhorred the idea of believing in him, or as being con

sidered one of his disciples; and therefore, by sad experience, I can sympathize with them more than others." He who has just been rescued from a dangerous fit of sickness, feels more for a sick person than he who never knew what sickness means. Hence even the Son of God himself needed to be tempted and tried, that he might be able to succour them that are tempted. The reader will not wonder at my mother's conduct, when he is informed, that to embrace the Christian religion brings greater reproach upon the family than if all the children had been guilty of the worst of crimes; and the person himself who believes the Christian religion becomes the object of their utmost abhorrence. One of the names by which they call him or her is Meshummad or Meshummedeth, from the root Shamad, which signifies to destroy; and to this name they generally add, Yemach Shemo vesichro, i. e., Let his name and memory be blotted out.* And if it were in their power without Chillul Hashshem, i. e., without bringing reproach on God, or exposing themselves or nation to persecution, to take away the life of such a person, like Saul of Tarsus, they would consider it a service done unto God.

§ 4. Dear reader, do not judge rashly of the motive which actuates a Jew in thus dealing with his brother, or even with his only son. Frequently I have been told that the Jews must be a cruel and unfeeling people, because they thus act toward their brethren and nearest relatives. Verily, the contrary is the case. In all my travels among different nations, I have never found a people more attached to each other, and ready to assist

* See D. Levi Ling. Sac. R. Elias Tishbi, and Buxtorf on the root Shamad. Nizzachon, P. 4. Beer Haggola. f. 44. c. 2.

to the utmost of their power in every affliction, than I have witnessed among the Jews; and especially the ardent love and affection which subsists between parents and children. Yet I do not doubt the truth of the assertion, that even some parents have put to death some of their children because they would not renounce the name of Jesus with blasphemy. Does any Christian believe that our venerable father Abraham must have been a very unfeeling and cruel father, because he was, after three days' mature contemplation, found in the very act of killing his son, his only son, his beloved son Isaac? No, he is the more admired for his piety, love, and obedience to God. For although he loved his son Isaac most tenderly, yet he loved God still more, and was ready to obey his most trying command. Even so, every Jew is commanded that if any of theirs should worship another God he is to be put to death, and believing Jesus to have been but a mere man, they look upon every Jew who professes Christianity, and consequently worshipping Christ as he does the Father, to be an idolater, and that therefore it becomes their duty as much as it was that of Abraham to put him to death. It should, therefore, not be considered strange or surprising to find that multitudes of the Jews, whose confidence in the present Judaism is shaken, and who feel a strong desire of inquiring into the evidences of Christianity, yet stifle their convictions for fear of the awful consequences, as will be shown more full in the sequel of this narrative.

§ 5. The advantages and disadvantages arising from this mode of education I have often experienced; while on the one hand it was the means of my progress in Jewish learning, on the other hand it kept me in perfect ignorance of all other useful knowledge until my

twenty-fourth year I had not seen a New Testament nor a translation of the Old.

When about three years, I begun the Hebrew alphabet, and when but six years of age I could read any chapter of the five books of Moses; and although I had no grammatical knowledge of the language, and understood little of the true meaning of the percepts, or the real design of the ceremonies contained in those books yet ten thousand thanks to my dear parents, who taught me the sacred Scriptures from a child, the fruits of which I still enjoy.

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§ 6. About that time it pleased God to afflict me with the small-pox, which brought on a long and painful illness, and my life was supposed to be in danger for about a year and a half, during which time I forgot what I had formerly learned; the sight of my left eye was also injured, and I lost the use of speech, but through the blessing of God I was gradually restored to the use of both. The latter, however, has always continued in a measure defective, and even at present, in reading a long-continued sentence, I experience some degree of hesitation. This formerly was often a source of grief to me, but blessed be God, for many years past I have seen the wisdom and goodness of the Lord in this fatherly chastisement, and through eternity I shall have reason to say that this light affliction, which is but for a moment, has worked out for me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

§ 7. On my recovery I was again instructed in the section out of the law appointed for the week,* with the

* It is an ancient custom among the Jews to read in the synagogue, every Sabbath-day, a section of the five books of Moses, i. e., law, so as to read the whole once every year; and as their leap-year

*

explanation of Rashee, i. e., Rabbi, Solomon Yarchi, and was also taught a chapter every day out of the former prophets, and writings or Hagiographa, but never was any part of the latter prophets, except what is contained in the Haphtoroth,† explained to me; no wonder, therefore, that I was ignorant of what they had written concerning the Messiah. I have often been surprised that, in the choice of these Haphtoroth, those parts which speak the plainest of Immanuel are left out, especially as the 52d and 54th chapters of Isaiah are appointed, but the last three verses of the 52d chapter and the whole of the 53d are skipped over. The only reason I can assign is, that the people may be kept in ignorance of the Messiah. The omission of so many precious and most important portions of the writings of the holy prophets, such as the 7th, 9th, and 53d chapters of Isaiah; the 23 chapter of Jeremiah, and the whole book of Daniel, particularly the 9th chapter, has led me, among other reasons taken

has fifty-four weeks, they have divided the law into so many sections, each of which is called Sedrah. In those years which have not so many weeks, and in which no festivals fall on the Sabbath, two sections are joined on certain Sabbath-days.

*The Hebrew Bible, or Old Testament, contains twenty-four books, which are divided into three classes :-Torah, i. e., the five books of Moses. Neve-im, which is again divided into the former prophets, comprehending Joshua, Judges, Samuel, and Kings; and the latter prophets containing Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and the twelve minor prophets, which are considered as one book. Kethu vin, containing Psalms, Proverbs, Job, Canticles, Ruth, Lamentations, Ecclesiastes, Esther, Daniel, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Chronicles.-N. B. Ezra and Nehemiah are considered as one book.

+ It is a tradition that, when Antiochus Epiphanes prohibited the reading of the law, the Jews substituted fifty-four portions out of the prophets, which they call Haphtoroth, one of which is still read every Sabbath-day after the section of the law is finished.