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St. JAMES'S PARK.,
Lord Sparkish meeting Col. Atwitt.
Ld. Sparkisb. Thank ye, colonel. A parfon would have said, I hope we fall meet in heaven. When did you see Tom Neverout?
Col. He's just coming towards us. Talk of the devil
Neverout comes up.
Col. I hope you're never the worse : but pray where's your manners ? don't you see my Lord Sparkish.?
Neverout. My lord, I beg your lordship's pardon.
Ld. Sparkish. Tom, how is it, that you can't see the wood for trees ? What wind blew you hither?
[P] "I retired hither for the publick good, “ having two great works in hand : one, to reduce " the whole politeness, wit, humour, and tyle of “ England into a short system, for the use of all
persons of quality, and particularly the maids of “ honour, etc." Letters to and from Dr. Swift, at the end of Mr. Pope's works, lecter liv. H6
Neverout. Why, my lord, it is an ill wind blows no body good; for it gives me the ho. nour of seeing your lordship.
Col. Tom, you must go with us to Lady Smart's to breakfast.
Neverout. Must ! why, colonel, must's for the king.
[Col. offering in jeft to draw his sword. Col. Have you spoke with all your friends ?
Neverout.' Colonel, as you're ftout, be merciful.
Ld. Sparkish. Come, agree; the law's costly.
[Col. taking his band from his hilt. Col. Well,
Tom, you are never the worse man to be afraid of me. Come along
Neverout. What! do you think I was born in a wood, to be afraid of an owl ?
I'll wait on you. I hope Mifs Notable will be there ; egad fhe's very handsome, and has wit at will.
Col. Why every one as they like, as the good woman said when she kiss'd her cow. Lord Smart's house ; they knock at the doors
the Porter comes out.
Porter. She was at home just now; but she's not gone out yet.
Neverout. I warrant this rogue's tongue is
Lady Smart's antichamber.
able at the tea-table.
Ld. Sparkish. Madam, you spoke too late ;
liere? Col. As sure you're there, madam,
Lady Smart. Oh, Mr. Neverout! What such a man alive!
Neverout. Ay, madam, alive, and alive like to be, at your ladyship's service.
Lady Smart. Well, I'll get a knife, and pick it down that Mr. Neverout came to our house. And pray what news, Mr. Nevera out ?
Neverout. Why, madam, Queen Elizabeth's dead.
Lady Smart. Well : Mr. Neverout, I see you are no changeling.
Miss Notable comes in. Neverout. Miss, your llave : I hope your early rising will do you no harm, I find you are but just come out of the cloth market..
Mifs. I always rise at eleven, whether it be day or no.
Col. Miss, I hope you are up for all day.
Miss. Yes, if I don't get a fall before night.
Col. Miss, I heard you were out of order ; pray how are you now?
Miss. Pretty well, Colonel, I thank you,
Col. Pretty and well, mifs ! that's two very good things.
Mifs. I mean I am better than I was,
Neverout. Why then, 'tis well you were fick. Miss. What! Mr. Neverout, you take me
before I'am down, Lady Smart. Come, let us leave off chil. dren's play, and go to push-pin.
Miss [TO Lady Smart]. Pray, madam, give me some more sugar to my tea.
Col. Oh! Miss, you must needs be very good-humour'd, you love sweet things to well.
Neverout. Stir it up with the spoon, miss; "for the deeper the sweeter.
Lady Smart. I assure you, miss, the colono! has made you a great compliment.
Miss. I am sorry for it; for I have heard say, complimenting is lying.
Lady Smart [To Lord Sparkish]. My lord, methinks the fight of you is good for fore eyes; if we had known of your coming, we would have strown rushes for you : how has your lordship done this long time ?
Col. Faith, madam, he's better in health than in good conditions.
Ld. Sparkish. Well; I see there's no worse friend than one brings from home with one; and I am not the first man has carried a rod to whip himself.
Neverout. Here's poor miss has not a word to throw at a dog. Come, a penny for your thought.
Miss. It is not worth a farthing; for I was thinking of you.
Col. rising up: Lady Smart. Colonel, where are you go. ing so foon ? I hope you did not come to fetch fire.
Col. Madam, I must needs go home for half an hour.
Mifs. Why, colonel, they say, the devil's at home.
Lady Anfw. Well, but fit while you stay ; 'tis as cheap sitting as standing.
Col. No, madam, while I'm standing I'm going.
Miss. Nay, let him go ; I promise him we wont tear his cloaths to hold him.
Lady Smart. I suppose colonel, we keep you from better company, I mean only as to myself. Col. Madam, I am all obedience.
Col. fits down. Lady Smart. Lord, miss, how can you drink
your tea fo hot ? sure your mouth's paved. How do you like this tea, colonel ?
Col. Well enough, madam ; but methinks it is a little more-ith.
Lady Smart. Oh colonel ! I understand you. Betty bring the canister ; I have but very little of this tea left; but I don't love to make two wants of one ; want when I have it, and want when I have it not. He, he, he, hc.