MEDITATION XXIX.

From LUXE IV. 18, 19. Father, I have finned againft heaven, and before thee, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

FATHER: Ah, I may be afhamed to call thee so, confidering what a difobedient and unthankful child I have been. I am a most wretched prodigal, I left thy house and prefence, and went into a far country; far from thee, my blifs and happiness. But now, Father, behold me defiring to come back as a poor penitent, mourning, and returning prodigal. I come from a far country indeed, I come from the land of fin and darknefs; I come from the frontiers of hell, from the very borders of the burning lake! Ah, foolish creature that I am, How have I forfaken thee the fountain of living waters. How fond have I been of broken cisterns, and in love with filthy puddles? O the bafenefs, the dif ingenuity, the ingratitude that I have been guilty of. I have refifted thy power, despifed thy wisdom, undervalued thy goodness! Father of mercies, I now fee what an evil thing and bitter it is to forfake the Lord. Holy Lord Jefus, I now fee what indignities I have done against thee! Thy bleffed body was dreadfully torn with nails upon the crofs, and thy precious blood inhumanly fpilt by thy crucifiers! But oh! have not I occafioned more grief and forrow to thee by my manifold fins against light and love? They crucified thee but once, but I have crucified thee day after day! They crucified thee because they knew thee not; but I have known thee what thou art in thyfelf, the Lord of glory, and what thou art to me, a tender and merciful Father; yet I have continued to crucify thee afresh. O Holy Spirit, I have refifted thy ftrivings, quenched thy motions, demolished thy work, and put thee away grieved. But, Lord, I condemn my folly, and fee my mifery. Oh, what have I gained by offending thee? nothing but shame and confufion, fear, trembling, and

horror! O what fruit had I in those things whereof I am now afhamed!

But, Father, I have heard of thy compaffions to the guilty when they confefs, and forfake, and turn to thee: Wherefore, though I am ashamed, like the publican, to lift up my eyes to heaven: yet, let me with humble Magdalen, come behind thee weeping, and wash thy feet with my tears, and kifs them. And let me hear the news of pardon from thy mouth. Thou cameft, Lord, not to call the righteous, but finners to repentance; and of these I am chief. Lord, I am full of difcafes, full of wounds, full of plague fores, full of weaknefs and infirmities, full of fins and pollutions. Here, Lord, is work for thy ftrong hand, work for thy wonder working blood: O ftretch out thy hand and fave. Father, I am no more worthy to be called thy fon, make me as one of thy hired fervants; and thou knoweft no hire, no wages will fatisfy me but thyself; Lord, give me thyfelf, be thou my exceeding great reward.

Lord, I am fo vile a creature, that I may fear to come and present a petition to thee upon the knee, and far more to come and fit down with thee at thy holy table: If John Baptift, a faint of the firft magnitude, thought himself not worthy to ftoop down and loofe the latchet of thy fhoes, fhall I, who am laden with fins, adventure to that holy feaft, where angels wait as ministering spirits? But, Lord, in thy compaffion receive me, that cometh not to excufe, but to accuse myfelf, with eyes caft down, finiting on my breaft with the publican, Lord, be merciful to me a finner. Thou didst graciously accept of the publican's prayer, of Mary Magdalen's tears, the faith of the thief on the cross, the repentance of Peter, and thofe that crucified thee. By thefe inftances of thy mercy, I am encouraged to draw near to thee: O fend me not away empty, left I faint by the way; but fatisfy my needy foul with the food of thy heavenly banquet, that I may receive fpiritual ftrength and nourishment to eternal life.

Lord, hear my cry, and hide not thy face from me →→

When Manaffeh cried to thee, thou hadft respect to his prayer: When the Ninevites humbled themfelves before thee, thou waft intreated; yea, thou inviteft the moft crimson and scarlet coloured finners, to come and reafon with thee, and affures them, thou wilt caft out none that come. Many thoufands, who have experi enced the truth of thy word, are, at this hour, finging thy praifes, and exalting thy free grace. Lord, do thou make me also a monument of thy free grace to all eternity.

Ah, I may be ashamed to fpeak of mercy and grace, who have fo long abufed thy grace, and trampled on the blood that fhould fave me. O that I could mourn

and weep all my life for it. Oh, what fhall I do with my ftony heart that will not break and melt for abufing God's mercy, and trampling Chrift's blood! Oh, fhall I mourn and weep for a dead corpfe, or departed friend, and not mourn for dead heart, or for God's departing from me! Shall the dear Son of God weep, fweat, and bleed for us, and we not weep for ourselves, 'or for our fins, that pierced his head with thorns, his hands with nails, and his fide with a fpear, and his heart with forrows. Lord Jes, I look to thee for a penitent heart, feeing thou telleft me, thou art exalted for this very end, to give repentance to Ifrael.

Lord, what is man, that thou art mindful of him? and what am I, the unworthieft of men, that thou shouldest call me to fit with thy children at thy table, who am unworthy as a dog to creep under it; yea, calleft me to eat the bread of angels, who am not worthy to eat the bread of men? Amazing love! that God fhould court those to obedience, whom he can peremptorily command to it; and, in cafe of difobedience, punith instantly in hell; that he fhould take poor flaves, condemned to the prifon of hell, and make them crowned kings in heaven, that he fhould not only be willing to dwell in flesh, but alfo to give us this flesh for our food; that he should not only fave us from hell, but even leave his throne in heaven, and lofe his life on earth, to

enthrone us in his kingdom! Thefe are prodigies of love, which should engage us to love our Saviour, and mourn for fin while we live. Lord Jefus, pity a relenting, returning prodigal; take him home, and make him thy fervant for ever. It is highly juft, that I fhould offer up myself a living facrifice to my Redeemer, who offered up himself a dying facrifice for my redemption.

MEDITATION XXX.

From SONG i. 4. We will remember thy love.

I Go, bleffed Jefus, at thy call, to remember thy love at thy holy table; thy words have an awful found in my ears, Do this in remembrance of me. I fee much in them; in obedience to them I'll do this in remembrance of thy dwelling in flesh; in memory of thy love that carried thee to the manger, to the garden, and to the crofs, for me; in memory of the infinite price of thy blood which thou didft fhed; in memory of the victory obtained by it over the enemies of my foul; in memory of the deliverance from wrath, and the immortal glory thou haft purchased by it for me: Though thou didst die, and lie in the grave, yet thy love fhall ever live in my heart. Glory to thee, thou art now alive in in heaven; O come and live with me; let thy love never be one moment out of my view. I bless thee for this lafting memorial of thy love.

I look on this facrament as no real or proper facrificce, as many do, but only as a reprefentation or commemoration of the real facrifice Chrift offered on the crofs. I do no more at the Lord's table, than what Chrift did at it: Since he offered no facrifice at the table, neither do I. He only did commemorate that facrifice he was going to offer; and the fame, and no more, do I. If any fhould fay, that Chrift offered a real facrifice, when he inftituted this facrament, then

the oblation on the crofs would have been fuperfluous, because finners would have been redeemed by that of the fupper which went before.

***Now is the time for a folemn commemoration of thy love: Oh, fhall I be unmindful of thy love at this feaft, when thou waft fo mindful of me at it, made thy testament, put me in it, and left me precious legacies to caufe me to remember thee; fuch as, life and light, pardon and peace, righteoufnefs and ftrength, grace and glory. O how heroic, how generous and free, is thy love to finful worms! We had done nothing to oblige thee; nothing faweft thou in us to engage thy love to us; but much didft thou fee in us to incenfe thee against us. When we were without strength, ungodly finners, and enemies, thou lovedst us, and diedst for us. Greater love hath no man than this, to lay down his life for his friends; but far greater love hath Godman, who laid down his life for his enemies! O what fhall I think of this love! It had been wonderful love in an angel to have ftooped to be united to a lump of earth, and therein fuffered for us, though it could not have paid our debt. But, O my foul, here is one more valuable than all the angels in heaven, that has flooped to do it! The Word was made flesh, and dwelt am ng When I was, like Ifaac, bound on the altar, he freely offered himself to be made a facrifice to fatisfy juftice for me; Father, faid he, Lo I come, to do thy will I take delight!

us!

Remember this love, O my foul, the Son of God is become the fon of man for thee, that thou nighteft be raised to the dignity of the fon of God! He that was infinitely rich, for my fake became poor, that I, a poor naked creature, might become rich and well clothed. How can I look on the incarnation and birth of my Redeemer, and not remember his love with wonder! Can I behold the manger his bed, and not adore the love that brought him to lie in it? O how low were the circumstances of the heir of heaven, when he came to fojourn on earth, who had neither a houfe to live in,