Whitworth to Muscovy on an embassy of humiliation, for an insult committed here on that Prince's ambassador.*

The Lord Chancellor Bacon, when he was convicted of bribery.

The late Duke of Marlborough, when he was forced, after his own disgrace, to carry his Duchess's gold key to the Queen.t

The old Earl of Pembroke, when a Scotch lord gave him a lash with a whip at Newmarket, in presence of all the nobility, and he bore it with patience.‡

King Charles II., of England, when he entered into the second Dutch war; and in many other actions during his whole reign.

* He was arrested by a creditor, and carried, after some resistance and ill usage, to a common spunging house. The Czar Peter demanded that the offenders should be capitally punished; and as it was difficult to make him comprehend, that the English law did not permit such summary vengeance, he threatened to make our trade feel the effect of his resentment, and was appeased with great difficulty.

It may be doubted, whether the Queen on this occasion might not make the lesser figure of the two.

It was Philip Earl of Pembroke and Montgomery, who disgraced his ancient family, by submitting to this gross insult. He received the blow from Ramsay Earl of Holderness.

"It was at a horse-race, where many both Scotch and English met; the latter of which did upon this accident draw together, with a resolution to make it a national quarrel, so far as Mr. John Pinchback, though a maimed man, having but the perfect use of his two fingers, rode about with his dagger in his hand, crying, Let us break our fast with them here, and dine with the rest at London! But Herbert not offering to strike again, there was nothing spilt but the reputation of a gentleman; in lieu of which, if I am not mistaken, the King made him a Knight, a Baron, a Viscount, and an Earl, in one day; as he well deserved, having for his sake, or rather out of fear, transgressed all the gradations of honour."-OSBORNE'S Traditional Memorials, apud Works, Lond. 1673, 8vo, p. 505.

Philip II., of Spain, after the defeat of the Armada. The Emperor Charles V., when he resigned his crown, and nobody would believe his reasons.

King Charles I., of England, when, in gallantry to his Queen, he thought to surprise her with a present of a diamond buckle, which he pushed down her breast, and tore her flesh with the tongue; upon which she drew it out, and flung it on the ground.

Fairfax, the Parliament general, at the time of King Charles's trial.*

Julius Cæsar, when Anthony offered to put a diadem on his head, and the people shouted for joy to see him decline it; which he never offered to do, until he saw their dislike in their countenances.

Coriolanus, when he withdrew his army from Rome at the entreaty of his mother.

Hannibal, at Antiochus's court.

Beau Fielding, at fifty years old, when, in a

* When he was generally supposed to have determined on saving the King, but suffered himself to be outwitted by Cromwell.

† Robert Fielding of Fielding Hall, commonly called Beau Fielding. He was very handsome, and set up as a fortune-hunter; but, meeting with a female more able than himself, he was tricked into marriage, under the idea of her being possessed of a large fortune, while, in truth, she was as penniless as obscure. This incident, he conceived, ought not to suspend his career of fortune, and accordingly, sixteen days after it took place, Beau Fielding united himself to the most noble Barbara Duchess of Cleaveland. He was tried for felony at the Old Bailey, and his second marriage set aside. He himself had the benefit of clergy, and this odd adventure closed the long list of the Duchess of Cleaveland's gallantries, which, commencing with the Restoration, had ran through nearly four reigns, not a little distinguished by their promiscuous and motley complexion. Fielding is described by the Tatler, No. 50, under the name of Orlando, and is said to be "full, but not loaded with years." From the account there given of him, as well as the anecdote in the text, it would seem that conceit of his conquests, and vanity of his figure, had crazed his brain. He received the wound mentioned by Swift, at Mrs.

quarrel upon the stage, he was run into his breast, which he opened and shewed to the ladies, that he might move their love and pity; but they all fell a-laughing.

The Count de Bussy Rabutin, when he was recalled to court after twenty years' banishment into the country, and affected to make the same figure he did in his youth.

The Earl of Sunderland, when he turned Papist, in the time of King James II., and underwent all the forms of a heretic converted.

Pope Clement VII., when he was taken prisoner, at Rome, by the Emperor Charles the Fifth's forces. Queen Mary of Scotland, when she suffered Bothwell to ravish her, and pleaded that as an excuse for marrying him.

King John of England, when he gave up his kingdom to the Pope, to be held as a fief to the see of Rome.

Oldfield's benefit. The combat took place betwixt him and Mr. Fullwood, a barrister, whose foot he had trodden upon, in pressing forward to display his person to most advantage. His antagonist was killed in a duel the very same night, having engaged in a second theatrical quarrel. The conduct of the hero might be sufficiently absurd; but a wound of several inches' depth was an odd subject of ridicule. Fielding died about 1712.

OF PUBLIC ABSURDITIES

IN

ENGLAND.

T is a common topic of satire, which you will hear not only from the mouths of ministers of state, but of every whiffler in office, that half a dozen obscure fellows, over a bottle of wine or a dish of coffee, shall presume to censure the actions of Parliaments and Councils, to form schemes of government, and new-model the commonwealth; and this is usually ridiculed as a pragmatical disposition to politics, in the very nature and genius of the people. It may possibly be true and yet I am grossly deceived if any sober man, of very moderate talents, when he reflects upon the many ridiculous hurtful maxims, customs, and general rules of life, which prevail in this kingdom, would not with great reason be tempted, according to the present turn of his humour, either to laugh, lament, or be angry; or, if he were sanguine enough, perhaps to dream of a remedy. It is the mistake of wise and good men, that they expect more reason and virtue from human nature, than, taking it in the bulk, it is in any sort capable of. Whoever has been present at councils or assem

blies of any sort, if he be a man of common prudence, cannot but have observed such results and opinions to have frequently passed a majority, as he would be ashamed to advance in private conversation. I say nothing of cruelty, oppression, injustice, and the like, because these are fairly to be accounted for in all assemblies, as best gratifying the passions and interest of leaders; which is a point of such high consideration, that all others must give place to it. But I would be understood here to speak only of opinions ridiculous, foolish, and absurd; with conclusions and actions suitable to them, at the same time when the most reasonable propositions are often unanimously rejected. And as all assemblies of men are liable to this accusation, so likewise there are natural absurdities from which the wisest states are not exempt; which proceed less from the nature of their climate, than that of their government; the Gauls, the Britons, the Spaniards, and Italians, having retained very little of the characters given them in ancient history.

By these and the like reflections, I have been often led to consider some public absurdities in our own country, most of which are, in my opinion, directly against the rules of right reason, and are attended with great inconveniencies to the state. I shall mention such of them as come into memory, without observing any method; and I shall give my reason why I take them to be absurd in their nature, and pernicious in their consequence.

It is absurd that any person, who professes a different form of worship from that which is national, should be trusted with a vote for electing members into the House of Commons: because every man is full of zeal for his own religion, although he regards not morality; and, therefore, will endeavour, to his utmost, to bring in a representative of his own prin