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blessed soul; and I feel more of the immediate presence of God since that conversation.
May 5.--I had a meeting some days ago at Bwhere an odd circumstance occurred. I observed (as I was speaking on these words, The Master is come, and calleth for thee) a gentleman among the congregation, who looked with great earnestness. As soon as the meeting was over. I rode home, where I had not long been, till this man came after me. He is a stranger, and came into these parts about business. He felt a great alarm in his soul ; and declared he had always before thought himself very righte. ous; but he now feared he should go to hell ; and insisted on telling me his whole life, and confessing (as he termed it) all his sins. He was very long ; and I feared there was in his mind a mixture of insanity. He told me he was building a house for an assembly, but he would go home, and turn it into a preaching house, if I would come and speak in it, that his neighbours might get the light he had got. I strove to prevail on him to return to the friend's house from whence he came, and to set off the next morning for his own country, where he told me he had a good wife and family ; but he insisted he would not leave me till he had found the Lord! At length he said he felt some comfort, and would go and spend most of the night in prayer. Next morning he was more calm; and on my promising to answer him if he wrote to me, he went away. Satan made use of this occurrence to bring me into discouragement respecting public speaking; but some years after, I heard a most pleasing account of this gen. tleman, that he had indeed turned his assembly into a Methodist preaching house, and that himself and family were joined to the society.
June 11, Tuesday.-Mrs. Westerman came here on the Thursday before Whitsunday, and stayed ten days. She came in full expectation of a blessing; and in the Sunday night meeting, as I was in the last prayer, I felt it on my mind to plead with the Lord that he would seal some soul as his abode that night. Just then the answer came. She felt the heart of stone taken away, and has ever since rejoiced with exceeding joy. Tuesday I went to BWhen we came, we found the man at whose house we were to have been, died that morning. Another offered his barn, though with seeming fear; but when we came to the house, he either could not, or would not find the key. So we stood in an open place, with some serious people from other parts, and some of the careless inhabit. ants. However, all behaved well, and I found liberty in enforcing these words, " Acquaint now thyself with God, and be at peace, hereby good shall come unto thee.”
July 20.-This day I found a good deal of liberty in prayer, especially in pleading, “ If it be thy will I should be holy,-if it be the great design of thy death,—0, then, let it all be answered on thy poor creature!
Let all thy will be done !" It seems to me I fall short in every thing. I am continually making rules and plans, and yet I keep to none with any degree of exactness. Nevertheless, I see it well to make them; for though I never come up to what I propose, yet I always gain something; every fresh effort seems to put me a little forward. I have of laté been reading Dr. Cheyne's works; I see self-denial very beautiful, and of profit both for soul and body.
July 24.-H. S. gave a good account of the work wrought on her soul. I think it is about three months ago I providentially met with her in a class, which I went to meet about a mile from home. She appeared that night all ear, and quite awakened to the desire of loving God with all her heart. I felt much liberty in conversing with her, and asked her to come to the meeting, which she did the first opportunity, and seemed quite broken down ;-expressing herself in such a manner concerning her inbred sin, as plainly showed the Lord had plucked away every covering. While we were at prayer, she felt a degree of living faith ; and last night she gave the following account: “ After I left you I was very happy. I went to bed, wondering at the great miracle Jesus had wrought in saving such a sinner. When I awoke in the morning, (0, what a precious morning to me!) I had an impression as if my dear Lord stood just by me, and said, • I will cause all my goodness to pass before thee.' I cried out, 0, it is thee, my Lord !' Then the words came to me, I have set thee as a signet upon mine arm, as a seal upon my heart. Thy sun shall no more go down. I will be thine everlasting light, and thy God, thy glory. O, what rapture did I feel, and so I do still! He is all day
long speaking so sweetly to me, and I have such views of his glorious love as I cannot express. O, never sure did the Lord do such a miracle ! For I do believe there never was such a vile polluted creature as I have been !"* August 30.—Yesterday it was given out for me to be
For a whole month it lay on my mind. None, O my God, but thyself, knows what I go through for every public meeting! I am often quite ill with the prospect. When the day came, the wind was violent, which is a thing I have a great fear of, because it so affects my head; for after riding several miles in it, I am scarcely in my senses. And I suppose it is worse to me, not having been used to ride on horseback till I came into Yorkshire. A little before I set out, I said, “ O Lord, thou canst still the wind; but thy will be done." When we had got about a hundred yards from the house, the wind fell, and we had more trouble from it all the way. My hearing was much affected at this time, so that I feared I should not be able to converse with any person. But before I got to the place, my hearing was as good as ever it was in my life,-and I was not at all fatigued! There were many persons got together ; and after spending about two hours with them, the time for the meeting drew on. We went to a barn prepared for that purpose by the kind friend who had invited us. There was a good congregation; and I found some enlargement in speak. ing on those words which came then to my mind, “ Hath the Lord as much delight in sacrifices and burnt-offerings as in obeying the voice of the Lord ? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken, than the fat of rams."
As I was speaking on the word hearken, I felt the Lord peculiarly present. The people would fain have had me stay all night'; but for some reasons I thought it better to return ;—which we immediately did, and reached home a little before eleven.
September 7, Tuesday.-Glory be to God! this has been a comfortable day. My soul is sweet in expectation that I shall be filled with the Spirit ; and that I shall yet see the time, when by my whole life I shall bring glory to
* There are ten thousand happy believers that would dispute that point with her. -Ed.
God. I feel power to abandon my whole cause into his hand. O Lord, thou hast undertaken for me; I feel thou hast; I feel also great resignation as to the life or death of thy dear servant. O keep him, Lord, as the apple of thine eye. I believe thou wilt order all right; and I shall regard him with an immortal friendship, that will be free from snares, and all Divine. But it is strange, when I am offering him up, the words come, “ The prayer of faith shall heal the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up.” I do not understand, but I stand still.
September 14.—Yesterday I was a good deal oppressed. I had undertaken to meet the old members of our society apart, and to propose to them a renewal of our covenant; to set our hearts and hands afresh to the work of God. Glory be to his name, I was carried better through it than I could have hoped for. Some little touches of enthusiasm were beginning to creep in among us, which I thought the more dangerous, as the meeting now grows very numerous, members being added from all sides. Yet was it a great trial for me to have to reprove them,1. Because many are much farther advanced in grace
than 2. I was deeply conscious it is one of the most delicate subjects in the world, and requires both much wisdom and much love, to extinguish false fire, and yet to keep up the true. All the day I kept pleading before the Lord, mostly in these words of Solomon,—“Ah! Lord, how shall I, who am but a child, go in and out before this thy chosen people ?"
September 17, Tuesday.-Glory be to thee, my faith. ful Lord! O that I could always trust! Then I should always praise ! Last Sabbath morning I went, according to appointment, to Goker. I arose early, and in pretty good health. The day was fine, though rather hot. About eleven we came to Huddersfield, and called on Mrs. H. She had asked me to lodge there on my return, and have a meeting, saying many had long desired it, and there would be no preaching there on that day. I felt immedi. ately the people laid on my mind, and that I had a mes. sage to that place,--and said, If the Lord permit, I will. She then said, “ We will give it out at noon.” We rode forward. Benjamin Cock met us, and kindly conducted us over the moors. When we came to his hut, all was
clean, and victuals enough provided for twenty men. But I was so heated with the ride, (near twenty miles,) and with the great fire on which they so liberally cooked for us, that I could not eat. My drinking nothing but water seemed also quite to distress them. They said the meet. ing had been given out in many places, and they believed we should have between two and three thousand people. That I did not believe ; but there was indeed such a num. ber, and of such a rabble as I scarce ever saw. At one we went out to the rocks, a place so wild that I cannot describe it. The crowd which got around us was so great, that by striving which should get first to the quarry, (where we were to meet,) they rolled down great stones among the people below us, so that we feared mischief would be done. Blessed be God, none were hurt! I passed on among them on the top of the hill, not knowing whither I went. Twice I was pushed down by the crowd, but rose without being trampled on. We stopped on the edge of a spacious quarry filled with people, who were tolerably quiet. I gave out that hymn, The Lord my pasture shall prepare, &c. When they were a little settled, I found some liberty in speaking to them; and I believe most heard. As we returned into the house, numbers followed, and filled it so full we could not stir. I conversed with them, but could not get much answer. They stood like people in amaze, and seemed as if they could never have enough. Many wept and said, “When will you come again ?" We then set off for Huddersfield. I felt very much fatigued, and began to think, How shall I be able to fulfil my word there? As we rode along, brother Taylor said, “I think I ought to tell you my mind. I wish we could ride through Huddersfield, and not stop. For I know there are some there who do not like women to speak among them, and I fear you will meet with some. thing disagreeable.” I looked to the Lord, and received, as it seemed to me, the following direction: If I have a word to speak from him, he will make my way. If not, the door will be shut. I am nly to show the meekness of wisdom, and leave all to God. Those words then caine with power to my mind,
“ The Lord my pasture shall prepare,