How Jack hinged himself up by the perfuafion of his friends, who broke their words, and left his neck in the ucofe. J ACK was a profeffed enemy to implicit faith, and yet I dare fay it was never more ftrongly exerted,nor more bately abufed, than upon this occafion. He was now with his old friends, in the ftate of a poor disbanded officer after a peace, or rather a wounded foldier after a battle; like an old favourite of a cunning minifter after the job is over; or a decayed beauty to a cloyed lover in queft of new game; or like a hundred fuch things, that one fees every day. There were new intrigues, new views, new projects on foot; Jack's life was the purchase of Diego's friendship * much good may it do them. The intereft of Hocus and Sir William Crawley, which was now more at heart, made this operation upon poor Jick abfolutely neceffary. You may eafily guefs, that his reft that night was but small, and much disturbed-; however, the remaining part of his time he did not employ (as the custom was formerly) in prayer, meditation, or finging a double verse of a pfalm; but amuled himself with difpofing of his bank-stock. Many a doubt, mary a qualm overfpread his clouded imagination: "Muft-I "then, quoth he, hang up my own perfonal, natural, "individual felf, with thefe two bands! Durus fermo ! "What if I fhould be cut down, as my friends tell me? "There is fomething infamous in the very attempt; the "world will conclude, I had a guilty confcience. Is it poffible that good man, Sir:Ro er, can have fo much "pity upon an fortunate fcoundrel, that has perfecut"ed him fo many years? No, it cannot be; I don't love "favours that pass through Don Diego's hards. "the other fide, my blood chills about my heart at the On * The Earl of Nottingham made the concurrence of the whigs to bring in and carry this bill, one of the conditions of his engaging in their caufe. thought " 66 thought of these rogues, with their bloody hands grabbling in my guts, and pulling out my very intrails: hang it, for once I'll truft my friends." So Jack refolved; but he had done more wifely to have put himself upon the trial of his country,and made his defence iu form; many things happen between the cup and the lip; witneifes might have been bribed, juries managed, or pro. fecution stopped. But fo it was, Jack for this time had a fufficient stock of implicit faith, which led him to his ruin, as the sequel of the ftory fhews. And now the fatal day was come, in which he was to try this hanging experiment. His friends did not fail him at the appointed hour, to fee it put in practice. Habbakkuk brought him a smooth, ftrong, tough rope, made of many a ply of wholefome Scandinavian hemp, compactly twisted together, with a noose that flipt as glib as a bird-catcher's gin. Jack fhrunk and grew pale at firft light of it; he bandled it, he measured it, ftretched it, fixed it against the iron-bar of the window to try its ftrength; but no familiarity could reconcile him to it. He found fault with the length, the thickness, and the twift; nay, the very colour did not please him, "Will "nothing less than hanging ferve, quoth Jack? Won't "my enemies take bail for my good behaviour? Will "not they accept of a fine, or be satisfied with the pillory "and imprifonment, a good round whipping, or burn"ing in the cheek?" Hab. Nothing but your blood will appease their rage; make hafte, elfe we shall be discovered. There's nothing like furprizing the rogues: how they will be disappointed, when they hear that thou haft prevented their revenge, and hanged thine own felf? Jack That's true; but what if I fhould do it in effigies? Is there never an old Pope or Pretender to hang up in my ftead? we are not fo unlike, but it may pals. Hab. That can never be put upon Sir Roger. Fuck Are you fore he is in the next room? Have you provided a very sharp knife, in cafe of the worst ? Hab. Doft take me for a common lyar? be fatisfied, no damage can happen to your perfon; your friends will take care of that. Jack. Mayn't I quilt my rope? It galls my neck ftrange ftrangely: befides, I don't like this running-knot, it holds too tight; I may be ftifled all of a fudden. Hab. Thou haft fo many if's and and's; prithee dif patch; it might have been over before this time. Jack. But now I think on't, I would fain fettle fome affairs, for fear of the worst: have a little patience. Hab. There's no having patience, thou art fuch a faintling, filly creature. Jack. O thou most detestable, abominable passive obedience! did I ever imagine I fhould become thy votary in fo pregnant an inftance! How will my brother Martin laugh at this ftory, to see himself out-done in his own calling? He has taken the doctrine, and left me the prac tice. No fooner had he uttered these words, but like a man of true courage, he tied the fatal cord to the beam, fitted the noofe, and mounted upon the bottom of a tub, the infide of which he had often graced in his profperous days. This footstool Habbakkuk kicked away, and left poor Jack fwinging, like the pendulum of Paul's clock. The fatal noofe performed its office, and with the most ftrict ligature fqueezed the blood into his face, till it af fumed a purple dye, While the poor man heaved from the very bottom of his belly for breath, Habbakkuk walked with great deliberation into both the upper and lower room to acquaint his friends, who received the news with great temper, and with jeers and fcoffs inftead of pity. Jack has hanged himself, quoth they let us go "and fee how the poor rogue fwings." Then they call. ed Sir Roger." Sir Roger, quoth Habbakkuk, Jack has "hanged himself, make hafte and cut him down." Sir Roger turned first one ear, and then the other, not un derftanding what he said. Hab. I tell you, Jack has hanged himself up. Hab. Jack. Sir Roger. I thought this had not been hanging day. Hab, But the poor fellow has hanged himself. Sir Roger. Then let him hang. I don't wonder at it, the fellow has been mad these twenty years. With this he flung away. Then Jack's friends begun to hunch and push one anVOL. V. Y other, other, "Why don't you go, and cut the poor fellow "down? Why don't you? And why don't you? Not, "I, quoth one; Not I quoth another; Not I, quoth a "third; he may hang till doomsday before I relieve "him." Nay, it is credibly reported, that they were fo far from fuccouring their poor friend in this his dismal circumstance, that Ptfchirnfooker and several of his companions went in and pulled him by the legs, and thumped him on the breaft. Then they began to rail at him for the very thing which they had advised and juftified before, viz. his getting into the old gentlewoman's family, and putting on her livery. The keeper, who performed the laft office, coming up, found Jack fwinging with no life in him; he took down the body gently, and laid it on a bulk, and brought out the rope to the com pany. "This gentlemen, is the rope that hanged Jack; "what must be done with it?" Upon which they or dered it to be laid among the curiofities of Grefham-Col. lege*, and it is called Jack's rope to this very day. How. ever, Jack after all had fome fmall tokens of life in him, but lies at this time paft hope of a total recovery, with his head hanging on one fhoulder, without fpeech or motion. The coroner's inqueft, fuppofing him to be dead, brought him in non compos. CHAP. XIV. The conferences between Don Diego and John Bull. URING the time of the foregoing transactions, D Don Diego was entertaining John Bull. D. Diego. I hope, Sir, this day's proceeding will con. vince you of the fincerity of your old friend Diego, and the treachery of Sir Roger. J. Bull. What's the matter now? D. Diego. You have been endeavouring, for feveral years, to have juftice done upon that rogue Jack; but what through the remiffness of conftables, justices, and packed juries, he has always found the means to escape. * Since removed with the royal fociety into Crane-Court in Fleet street. 7. Bull. 7 Bull. What then? D. Diego. Confider then, who is your best friend; he that would have brought him to condign punishment, or he that has faved him. By my perfuafion Jack had hanged himself, if Sir Roger had not cut him down. J. Bull. Who told you, that Sir Roger has done fo? D. Diego. You feem to receive me coldly; methinks my fervices deferve a better return. 7. Bull. Since you value yourself upon hanging this poor fcoundrel, I tell you, when I have any more hanging-work, I'll fend for thee: I have fome better employment for Sir Roger: in the mean time, I defire the poor fellow may be looked after. When he first came out of the north-country into my family, under the pretended name of Timothy Trim, the fellow feemed to mind his loom and his fpinning wheel, 'till fomebody turned his head; then he grew fo pragmatical, that he took upon him the government of my whole family: I could never order any thing within or without doors, but he must be always giving his counfel, forfooth: nevertheless, tell him, I will forgive what is paft; and if he would mind his bufinefs for the future, and not meddle out of his own fphere, he will find, that John Bull is not of a cruel dif pofition. D. Diego. Yet all your skilful physicians fay, that nothing can recover your mother, but a piece of Jack's liver boiled in her foup. J. Bull. Thofe are quacks: my mother abhors fuch cannibal's food: fhe is in perfect health at prefent: I would have given many a good pound to have had her fo well fome time ago. There are indeed two or three troublefome old nurfes*, that, because they believe I am tenderhearted, will never let me have a quiet night's reft with knocking me up: "Oh, Sir, your mother is taken extremely ill! he is fallen into a fainting fit! fhe has a great emptiness, wants fuftenance !" This is only to recommend themselves for their great care: John Bull, as fimple as he is, understands a little of a pulse. 66 * New clamours about the danger of the church. |