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And, lest some brother rake be higher,
And face of crimson hue, sir.
Thus you'll be dubb'd a dashing blade,
To be a man of spirit ;
By industry and merit.
With lubrick arts, and wily tongue,
For that will be genteel ;
A rake should never feel.
When wine has made your courage stout, In midnight revel sally out,
Insulting all you meet ; Play pretty pranks about the town, Break windows, knock the watchmen down,
Your frolick to complete !
Besides exhibiting your parts,
By dint of dissipation ;
To gain her approbation.
By practising these famous rules,
A world of admiration ;
There needs no hesitation.
SIMON SPUNKEY'S PLAUSIVE POEM,
Inscribed to a certain
Or, Would-be Member of Congress.*
“ ARMA VIRUMQUE CANO.”
I SING the idol of a party,
* The hero, celebrated in this and the next subsequent poem, is the gentleman of spitting-memory, of whom we have before made honourable mention. (See p. 56 and 57.] These addresses were written in the year 1797, while this our patriot was taking measures to crowd himself into a station, which afforded him an opportunity to entail everlasting ignominy on a legislature, who would suffer such an animal to remain within its walls.
Though Justice frown, and Discord smile,
I'll praise him, should I lose my ears,
His passing merit will I shout Through every village round about ; With fife, drum, ram’s-horn, conch-shell, trumpet, I'll blow, squeak, whistle, roar, and thump it, Till all shall think the devil's to pay, From Bennington to Canada !t
What! though the federal junto sneer ; In courts of justice make it clear,
• The colonel was deeply in debt, and has been heard to acknowledge, that a prison, or a seat in congress, was his only alternative.
+ Alias, from Dan to Beersheba, or from one end of Vermont to the other.
Thy character not over nice is
Though Hamilton* late intimated That thou to Knavery wert related ; Declar'd that once you forg'd some letters To circulate among your betters, In which you did your best endeavour, Yourself to recommend to favour ; And, modestly, then sign'd the same (A slight mistake, another's name !
What though in court you had him tri'd, To show how wickedly he lied ; But there 'twas prov'd, by not a few, His every wicked word was true !
What though obnoxious to society, For frequent scandalous ebriety,
* Hamilton was a Vermontese, who had the hardihood to splash the pure regimentals of our redoubtable colo.